Blogs


Notices

Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 1

Old 10-06-2017, 12:36 PM
  # 161 (permalink)  
Member
 
Readytodothis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 181
It has been nonstop at work for the past 7-8 hours! Finally slowing down. This is when I would be getting excited about picking up that bottle of wine on the way home. The AV has come back this afternoon, especially with how stressful my workday has been. This AV is a PIA! I finish up in about a half an hour. I am going to leave here, head straight home, take a walk with my s/o and daughter, order a fabulous meal to be delivered, remember the whole night, go to bed and wake up refreshed and ready for the day ahead. That's a he-- of a lot better than picking up a bottle of wine, quickly drinking it, maybe driving out to get another one, not remembering giving my daughter a bath, not remembering dinner, passing out and waking up with a hangover. Why has it always been such a hard decision?
Readytodothis is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Readytodothis For This Useful Post:
charliesworld (10-06-2017), ChloeRose63 (10-06-2017), Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-07-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 01:02 PM
  # 162 (permalink)  
My Own Muse
 
ChloeRose63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Posts: 16,317
Great planning! Sounds like you are on the right path. Good thinking playing the tape forward to a lovely night that could have been missed by drinking!
ChloeRose63 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ChloeRose63 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-07-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 01:53 PM
  # 163 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 191
Newly sober

Hi! I'm new to this forum, and new to attempted sobriety. I'm 35 and have been a heavy drinker for 12-15 years. I usually drink 1-2 bottles of wine, or 6-8 beers a night. Of course, there's the one or two days a week that I really get it done. I've known I'm dependent for a long time. I'm afraid to let myself down, so I haven't committed. I thought it might help me to put out there the reasons why I think drinking has hurt me...

- I have so many interests that have gone by the wayside. If I'm not working, I'm drinking. There's no time to dedicate to things I was once interested in. I've become a piece of ****.

- I've gained weight, and lost motivation to exercise. I used to be health conscious and a lot better looking. I was a college athlete, and then an avid hiker and skier in my 20s. At first I would hike and then drink, then I started packing a couple beers for the summit to drink, and now I just pass on the hike altogether and drink instead. I find that I say "I used to be" a lot.

- I have a good job. I don't know who thought I deserved it, but here I am with a good job. I work out of town in the summers and drive a government rig 4.5 miles north. I drink en route- put wine in a metal water bottle. I have a remote office, so I'm alone. I've started drinking mid-day while I'm working. When I'm at home in the city, I've called in due to hangovers. As I type this, I'm cringing.

- I still have hopes and dreams, but they're shrouded in doubt. I bought vacant land near a small town I've always wanted to live in this summer. 10 years ago I would've been ecstatic. I would've quit my job and gone in 100%. I worry now that I don't have the motivation to build the dream I've had for 10+ years when it's right there waiting to be actualized.

I decided to try the sober October thing. I started Monday. This is day 5 sober. Other than not being able to sleep, and feeling distracted enough to be unproductive at work, I feel okay. I've been meditating a lot. It's Friday, and I'm about to hit the road back home- my 4.5 hour drive. No booze this time. I'm worried about the weekend. I'm glad I found this forum.
Magpie82 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Magpie82 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Kachal (10-10-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 01:53 PM
  # 164 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
[QUOTE=Readytodothis;6628050]It has been nonstop at work for the past 7-8 hours! Finally slowing down. This is when I would be getting excited about picking up that bottle of wine on the way home. The AV has come back this afternoon, especially with how stressful my workday has been. This AV is a PIA! I finish up in about a half an hour. I am going to leave here, head straight home, take a walk with my s/o and daughter, order a fabulous meal to be delivered, remember the whole night, go to bed and wake up refreshed and ready for the day ahead. That's a he-- of a lot better than picking up a bottle of wine, quickly drinking it, maybe driving out to get another one, not remembering giving my daughter a bath, not remembering dinner, passing out and waking up with a hangover. Why has it always been such a hard decision?


Sounds like a wonderful evening!!

ďWhy has it always been such a hard decision?Ē

AV always makes us think we have no choice. It makes you feel that unquenchable thirst. How twisted is it that culture drives us to believe that the only way we can satiate it is to pour a dehydrating poison into our bodies?
BrandNewLife is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BrandNewLife For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 01:54 PM
  # 165 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 17
This sort of day is DEFINITELY the kind of day where I would be stopping after work to buy a lot to drink. Iíve worked with my boss for seven years and we bicker like brother and sister... heís been pushing my buttons all day today. My daughter is with her dad tonight and I donít have anywhere to be in the morning.

Iím torn with what to do with my sober evening instead. I could clean out the garage - productive, sure, but more work. Or I could try to force myself to relax. How do normal people relax?
TiredPrayer is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TiredPrayer For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 01:57 PM
  # 166 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by TiredPrayer View Post
This sort of day is DEFINITELY the kind of day where I would be stopping after work to buy a lot to drink. Iíve worked with my boss for seven years and we bicker like brother and sister... heís been pushing my buttons all day today. My daughter is with her dad tonight and I donít have anywhere to be in the morning.

Iím torn with what to do with my sober evening instead. I could clean out the garage - productive, sure, but more work. Or I could try to force myself to relax. How do normal people relax?
Can you do both? Take an hour for a nice warm bath, or have a hot tea. Or icecream Yoga really helps me destress. Then you can tackle cleaning the garage with headphones on.
BrandNewLife is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BrandNewLife For This Useful Post:
charliesworld (10-06-2017), Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 02:05 PM
  # 167 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
It really does take practice. Weíve wired our brains to only associate relaxation with blackout oblivion. Once you form some new routines, your brain becomes retrained. I like using essential oils for this. Smell is a powerful scent; think about when you smell fresh baked cookies and think of your grandmaís house. Or when you walk into a new place, and a certain smell hits you and brings back associated memories.

Anytime I do anything relaxing, I try to engage all 5 senses in it so my body remembers to connect the relaxing feeling to something healthy. So I take mindful deep breaths, put a few drops of EO on my wrist, or diffuse it in the air. Then a certain taste, like the same special tea that I love. I wear comfy soft clothes or fuzzy socks and make sure the environment around me looks nice. I bought a coffee mug that brings me joy (itís shaped like a big blue ceramic owl) that I always drink tea in.

You just have to find your thing! Is there anything you used to like to do before drinking? Could you take up a hobby?
BrandNewLife is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to BrandNewLife For This Useful Post:
Boracraze (10-08-2017), charliesworld (10-06-2017), Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 02:05 PM
  # 168 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 191
Originally Posted by emme99 View Post
Hi everyone,
I would like to join please. I've been in many classes and I had 20 days in August, but have been drinking daily for a few weeks. I'm finishing up day 4. I have a cold, and I don't feel like drinking, but I'm worried about the weekend coming up.

Looking forward to getting to know everyone
Hi. I'm new also, and on the same day. Started Monday. Today is day 5 for us! It's been years since I've gone more than one day. I'm worried about the weekend too. We can do this.
Magpie82 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Magpie82 For This Useful Post:
charliesworld (10-06-2017), Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 02:21 PM
  # 169 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by juliaclare20 View Post
Hi! I'm new to this forum, and new to attempted sobriety. I'm 35 and have been a heavy drinker for 12-15 years. I usually drink 1-2 bottles of wine, or 6-8 beers a night. Of course, there's the one or two days a week that I really get it done. I've known I'm dependent for a long time. I'm afraid to let myself down, so I haven't committed. I thought it might help me to put out there the reasons why I think drinking has hurt me...

- I have so many interests that have gone by the wayside. If I'm not working, I'm drinking. There's no time to dedicate to things I was once interested in. I've become a piece of ****.

- I've gained weight, and lost motivation to exercise. I used to be health conscious and a lot better looking. I was a college athlete, and then an avid hiker and skier in my 20s. At first I would hike and then drink, then I started packing a couple beers for the summit to drink, and now I just pass on the hike altogether and drink instead. I find that I say "I used to be" a lot.

- I have a good job. I don't know who thought I deserved it, but here I am with a good job. I work out of town in the summers and drive a government rig 4.5 miles north. I drink en route- put wine in a metal water bottle. I have a remote office, so I'm alone. I've started drinking mid-day while I'm working. When I'm at home in the city, I've called in due to hangovers. As I type this, I'm cringing.

- I still have hopes and dreams, but they're shrouded in doubt. I bought vacant land near a small town I've always wanted to live in this summer. 10 years ago I would've been ecstatic. I would've quit my job and gone in 100%. I worry now that I don't have the motivation to build the dream I've had for 10+ years when it's right there waiting to be actualized.

I decided to try the sober October thing. I started Monday. This is day 5 sober. Other than not being able to sleep, and feeling distracted enough to be unproductive at work, I feel okay. I've been meditating a lot. It's Friday, and I'm about to hit the road back home- my 4.5 hour drive. No booze this time. I'm worried about the weekend. I'm glad I found this forum.
Welcome! Congrats on day 5! Everything you describe is so familiar. We think we have it under control, but itís ruling our life. At the end of my worst drinking period I kept trying to find a way just to be ďcomfortably numbĒ all the time. As my tolerance built, I just kept drinking more and more thinking I could handle it. Then just flip over the edge to passed out or blacked out.
BrandNewLife is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to BrandNewLife For This Useful Post:
charliesworld (10-06-2017), Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Magpie82 (10-06-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 04:03 PM
  # 170 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 17
JuliaClare, we sound fairly similar. I can really relate to how youíre feeling, but we can do this! Letís not drink together!

I was inspired by the ďWhy not do bothĒ idea so I bought shelving and other supplies for the garage tonight... but itís starting to get dark here already tonight so I donít want to start emptying the garage yet. Iím home and I have a frozen pizza in the oven. Iím definitely not drinking tonight. Iím thinking a hot bath sounds amazing, then to bed early so I can be up and productive tomorrow morning.

One other thing I need to process is I used to be a pretty active runner, but arthritis in my knee has made that pretty much impossible. When I was sober before, I really benefitted from those exercise endorphins. I need to start at least taking walks; unlike running, low impact stuff like walking is good for arthritic knees. But I resent that Iím still young(ish) (38) and my dumb knee is already checked out. Thereís no reason besides my own excuses why I canít walk and do yoga and I need to just stop feeling sorry for myself and get to it.
TiredPrayer is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to TiredPrayer For This Useful Post:
charliesworld (10-06-2017), Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Magpie82 (10-07-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 05:07 PM
  # 171 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,828
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by TiredPrayer View Post
How do normal people relax?
exercise works well for me TP

welcoem aboard btw - and welcome to all the other new posters as well. This is a great thread.

Originally Posted by AM100 View Post
Yes, I've considered this but just have not for some reason, quite an anomaly I suppose.
I think if you're staring at a bottle, then it's probably a good idea to remove those temptations AM?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Boracraze (10-08-2017), charliesworld (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-06-2017, 05:16 PM
  # 172 (permalink)  
Member
 
Linners820's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 419
Originally Posted by TiredPrayer View Post
Iím torn with what to do with my sober evening instead. I could clean out the garage - productive, sure, but more work. Or I could try to force myself to relax. How do normal people relax?
I'm trying to figure this out myself. It's only been 2-3 years since I've been drinking in a regular basis and I honestly don't remember how I used to relax otherwise. That's really sad. :/
On this Friday night, I've kept the plug in the jug (I like that saying).
Work sucked, but instead of going right home I headed straight to the beach for a good walk in the sand along the shoreline, and scored some nice pieces of sea glass for my collection.
Almost had a panic attack on the drive home, but got it in check and stopped off at the market for some dinner items. Came home, ate, and made myself a cup of Passion flower tea (I got some cuz I read that it's a pretty great herb for anxiety, and I was surprised yesterday when I tried it for the first time to find that it did in fact mellow me. I think I need to give it a few more tries before I reach a final verdict though).
Then I came on SR and read some posts while eating dinner. I took another poster's suggestion in a different thread and started checking out some new apps to download to occupy my mind when I'm trying to chill.
I've made a list of things to accomplish tomorrow. Looking forward to waking up feeling refreshed.
Linners820 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Linners820 For This Useful Post:
charliesworld (10-06-2017), Dee74 (10-06-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 12:26 AM
  # 173 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 253
Good morning. Happy weekend. I hope everyone managed to get some decent sleep.

Linners I'm jealous you live near the sea. I would love that. My favourite thing to do is get out away from everything and walk. I live in a city and there's some green space close to me but not loads. One day I would love to move to the countryside or the coast. It's not possible now.

Brand new life - I completely agree with smells. I love having a scented candle or melt on the go in my house. Feels so cosy.

Julia - I am nearly 40. I'd love to have a sober second half of life.

I've been pondering what caused my last drink. I'm worried about work. I crave financial security because I've never had it for any period of time. My OH is working but he was out of work for a long long time before this job. I don't earn enough to support the whole family so we got in a lot of debt while he wasn't working. Problem is this job is far from secure. The company closing down and everyone being made redundant is constantly hanging over him even though he's been there a year. I'm self employed and things have been really quiet for me and the what if he loses his job again is really playing on my mind. In my job I should be earning loads and I constantly see others in the same profession saying how busy they are. My self esteem in this respect is really low and it had been playing on my mind a lot. When I found out my OH was going to be working away I made the decision there and then that I would drink and I looked forward to it all week. What I'd forgotten was my inability to stop once I'd started and that was how it spilled over for another 2 days. 3 days after that I'm still feeling the consequences.

Another thing is that I replaced the booze with food and although I really want to lose weight I can't seem to stop eating junk food - it makes me lethargic and tired and then I can sleep. I'm running a half marathon next week, I've completely missed out on all training for it this last week. I thought I'd be slimmer by now but I'm still just a fatty running.

I completely acknowledge that I use drinking as a means to stop thinking and to feel better. Something I've done since I was a teenager. It's hard though when I feel I've tried everything else to feel better and nothing has worked. I'd really like to try meditation but find it very difficult to switch off. How has it been working for you Julia?
charliesworld is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to charliesworld For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (10-07-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 12:33 AM
  # 174 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,828
Blog Entries: 1
Hi charliesworld
I worried a lot about things too - I had a lot of fear.

Finally I saw that the one thing I couldn't do was drink on it. Drinking es just fueling the fear - I'd drink and my self esteem would plummet and I'd spend money on booze and junk food because I was worried about money. Crazy.

It took me a while to deal with the fear. I had a little counselling help, but mostly I found that facing my fears, & not drinking on them really helped.

The more problems I solved the better I felt.

Sobriety gave me back a sense of perspective.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Boracraze (10-08-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Erratic (10-07-2017), Kachal (10-10-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 04:47 AM
  # 175 (permalink)  
South Asian
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 121
Enjoy the weekend all. Sober October rolls on. I travel tonight and have made a plan. Let's see if I can stick to it. My danger time will be tomorrow night. Work finished. Alone in a hotel with an evening to kill.
Horatio48 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Horatio48 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (10-07-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 05:10 AM
  # 176 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,828
Blog Entries: 1
Why not think of some of the usual trigger points and a plan to deal with them, Horatio?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
emme99 (10-08-2017), Horatio48 (10-07-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 05:22 AM
  # 177 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 75
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
exercise works well for me TP

welcoem aboard btw - and welcome to all the other new posters as well. This is a great thread.



I think if you're staring at a bottle, then it's probably a good idea to remove those temptations AM?

D
Yep I agree, doing that today!
AM100 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to AM100 For This Useful Post:
Boracraze (10-08-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 05:24 AM
  # 178 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 75
Thanks to those with the meal planning ideas, it really got the ball rolling on getting some healthy meals lined out.

Last night I had grilled chicken breast andand baked asparagus, about 600 calories in total.

It's funny how not being hammered I'm able to focus on this so much more.
AM100 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to AM100 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (10-07-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 06:04 AM
  # 179 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 17
Good morning, everyone!

I was feeling kind of squirrelly last night until I made myself an orange juice/sparkling water mocktail. I think the bubbles + sugar combo helped take the edge off a lot. I slept like a baby and Iím feeling very positive today!

Howís everyone doing?
TiredPrayer is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TiredPrayer For This Useful Post:
Caramel (10-07-2017), Dee74 (10-07-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)
Old 10-07-2017, 06:35 AM
  # 180 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Good morning! Itís a rainy day here. A good day for cleaning. My goals today are:
1. Make the bed
2. Put away laundry
3. Sweep and mop the floors
4. Vacuum rugs
5. 30 min yoga and 10 min meditation (think Iíll start here).
6. Dinner - one pan Balsamic chicken veggie bake
7. Relax and enjoy the day

What do you all have planned?
BrandNewLife is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BrandNewLife For This Useful Post:
Caramel (10-07-2017), Dee74 (10-07-2017), emme99 (10-08-2017), Stubbs16 (10-07-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:35 PM.