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Shakes and nightmares

Old 09-29-2017, 10:42 AM
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Shakes and nightmares

I feel embarrassed and ashamed. I've always drank way to much, but the last 2 years have damn near every day. I'm destroying my life. I'm 37 married with 2 boys. On the nights I choose not to drink, I can't sleep at all. If I get any sleep the nightmares are horrible. During the day my hands shake so bad, I think people around me notice. Every thing is falling apart.
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Old 09-29-2017, 10:43 AM
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I remember those days.

If you quit, all that disappears with some continuous sober time.

Are you ready?
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Old 09-29-2017, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
I remember those days.

If you quit, all that disappears with some continuous sober time.

Are you ready?
Yes
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Old 09-29-2017, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by davesnothere View Post
I feel embarrassed and ashamed. I've always drank way to much, but the last 2 years have damn near every day. I'm destroying my life. I'm 37 married with 2 boys. On the nights I choose not to drink, I can't sleep at all. If I get any sleep the nightmares are horrible. During the day my hands shake so bad, I think people around me notice. Every thing is falling apart.
to SR No experience of those symptoms myself, but I've read about them loads, on here. If you're worried though, why not have a chat with your Doctor, for reassurance

Glad you found the website!
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Old 09-29-2017, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by davesnothere View Post
Yes
Well, then take a look around the forums. There is plenty of support and information here.

Welcome! What will you do to stay busy tonight when you would start to think about drinking? Take a walk with your kids? Clean the car? Make a plan.

Go to bed sober, you'll never be sorry about that decision.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Well, then take a look around the forums. There is plenty of support and information here.

Welcome! What will you do to stay busy tonight when you would start to think about drinking? Take a walk with your kids? Clean the car? Make a plan.

Go to bed sober, you'll never be sorry about that decision.
My oldest son has a big event tonight. So I wouldn't be able to drink until we get home. It will be dark and its Friday night, and our garage is the spot to hangout and get drunk. I have no idea how stop that from happening at this point.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by davesnothere View Post
My oldest son has a big event tonight. So I wouldn't be able to drink until we get home. It will be dark and its Friday night, and our garage is the spot to hangout and get drunk. I have no idea how stop that from happening at this point.
You have to start somewhere. How about not going to the garage? How about throwing away any alcohol in the garage before you go to the event?

How about going in the house, getting a snack and sitting down at your computer or watching a movie, or going to bed? Anything OTHER than drink.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:13 AM
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Welcome, Dave!

I couldn't stop drinking no matter how much I wished I could until I was willing to do anything to stop. Time in a treatment centre followed by regular participation in AA worked for me.

If you don't know what to do with yourself on a Friday night, maybe attending an open meeting might occupy some of that time. At an open meeting, you generally go to just hear someone speak and you don't even have to be a member. And you don't have to say anything yourself.

Sometimes meetings can be later in the evening, depending on where you are and if you can't make it to one, calling the hotline might help get you through the night.

Life can be really good again.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
You have to start somewhere. How about not going to the garage? How about throwing away any alcohol in the garage before you go to the event?

How about going in the house, getting a snack and sitting down at your computer or watching a movie, or going to bed? Anything OTHER than drink.
You are right. Is there anything that might help with sleeping?
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Madbird View Post
Welcome, Dave!

I couldn't stop drinking no matter how much I wished I could until I was willing to do anything to stop. Time in a treatment centre followed by regular participation in AA worked for me.

If you don't know what to do with yourself on a Friday night, maybe attending an open meeting might occupy some of that time. At an open meeting, you generally go to just hear someone speak and you don't even have to be a member. And you don't have to say anything yourself.

Sometimes meetings can be later in the evening, depending on where you are and if you can't make it to one, calling the hotline might help get you through the night.

Life can be really good again.
I've been thinking about a meeting. I just don't want my wife to think I'm weak.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by davesnothere View Post
It will be dark and its Friday night, and our garage is the spot to hangout and get drunk. I have no idea how stop that from happening at this point.
Come home late. Don't answer your door. Spill something really smelly in your garage. Tell whoever it is that wants to hang out in your garage that you have a big work deadline and can't this weekend. Spill some paint in your garage. Stay at a hotel tonight. Put a sign on your door that the garage is offlimits. Feign sickness. Have a mold problem. Tell your friends that you are concerned about your relationship with alcohol and need to stop for awhile. Tell your friends that you are taking a 30-day break from booze. Tell your friends that you are taking medication that doesn't allow you to drink.

There are a gazillion options. Choose one. Close the garage party down. Get the help that you need and get it now.

I was exactly where you are now two years ago. I traveled with my two boys and got on an airplane with shaky hands. I could barely hand over the boarding pass to the gate agent and my kids noticed and commented. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But, trust me, there are worse things that can happen. Like death. I got help. You can too, but you have to seek it. Make a plan. Don't let alcoholism define you. You're better than that. And, for goodness sake, don't let the idea of closing off your garage serve as an impediment to your health.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:32 AM
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Yes, join the club
I'd recommend chamomile tea and some exercise in the evening.
These nighmares and all the other physical issues will improve fairly quickly, so hang in there!
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by davesnothere View Post
You are right. Is there anything that might help with sleeping?
LOL, sleep is quite elusive in the first few weeks, dave. It's just part of the healing process. A little discomfort, is all.

I had trouble sleeping and I would get out of bed, make a snack, come on this site and read for half hour or so, then go back to bed. I slept when I could (which wasn't much) in early days. Your body will let you sleep when it absolutely needs to. I drank a lot of calming teas and Sleepytime tea. It's just jumpy/spinny brain and lots of irritability. It gets better with healing time.

Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. It slows everything down. When you are coming off of it, the nervous system is at high activation (not the right words, but I hope you understand) - trying to reach homeostasis again. Sleep will return.

Exercise and good nutrition helped me a lot in that first month. It's just you will be in recovery from a serious illness, and you have to kind of be gentle to yourself.

I'll start...((hug))
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by soberandhonest View Post
Come home late. Don't answer your door. Spill something really smelly in your garage. Tell whoever it is that wants to hang out in your garage that you have a big work deadline and can't this weekend. Spill some paint in your garage. Stay at a hotel tonight. Put a sign on your door that the garage is offlimits. Feign sickness. Have a mold problem. Tell your friends that you are concerned about your relationship with alcohol and need to stop for awhile. Tell your friends that you are taking a 30-day break from booze. Tell your friends that you are taking medication that doesn't allow you to drink.

There are a gazillion options. Choose one. Close the garage party down. Get the help that you need and get it now.

I was exactly where you are now two years ago. I traveled with my two boys and got on an airplane with shaky hands. I could barely hand over the boarding pass to the gate agent and my kids noticed and commented. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But, trust me, there are worse things that can happen. Like death. I got help. You can too, but you have to seek it. Make a plan. Don't let alcoholism define you. You're better than that. And, for goodness sake, don't let the idea of closing off your garage serve as an impediment to your health.
I just texted my wife that I can't drink tonight.....Got the shakes real bad at the moment can barely hold my phone.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:45 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
LOL, sleep is quite elusive in the first few weeks, dave. It's just part of the healing process. A little discomfort, is all.

I had trouble sleeping and I would get out of bed, make a snack, come on this site and read for half hour or so, then go back to bed. I slept when I could (which wasn't much) in early days. Your body will let you sleep when it absolutely needs to. I drank a lot of calming teas and Sleepytime tea. It's just jumpy/spinny brain and lots of irritability. It gets better with healing time.

Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. It slows everything down. When you are coming off of it, the nervous system is at high activation (not the right words, but I hope you understand) - trying to reach homeostasis again. Sleep will return.

Exercise and good nutrition helped me a lot in that first month. It's just you will be in recovery from a serious illness, and you have to kind of be gentle to yourself.

I'll start...((hug))
I understand, not even going to try to sleep tonight. Tomorrow is Saturday I don't have to work. Maybe I can sleep then.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:46 AM
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Why don't you give your doctor a call? They could prescribe a short-term medication to get you safely and comfortably through these next few days.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted by davesnothere View Post
I just don't want my wife to think I'm weak.
Does your wife support your efforts to quit? Is she an alcoholic? Do you think she knows the extent of your problem?

I never wanted to show any "weakness" to my girl. I took great pride in being "tough" and believed that to be a great quality. I still think there is value in that, but not when it is built on lies and not in the context of this disease. Hiding the extent of my addiction from the person closest to me and not seeking her support in overcoming it were neither positive attributes nor signs of me being tough. Rather, they were ill-conceived, irrational, and deceitful (and the deceit nearly destroyed us). I no longer view this disease in terms of toughness or weakness - it just shouldn't be measured in those terms - but if my actions were anything that could be placed on this scale, they could only be described as weak.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:49 AM
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Dave, I don't know where you are in the world, or what time it is where you are, but can you get some medical advice? Even a trip to ER (or A&E if you're here in the UK)

Sounds like you could use some reassurance x
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Why don't you give your doctor a call? They could prescribe a short-term medication to get you safely and comfortably through these next few days.
I might have to. Thanks
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Old 09-29-2017, 12:11 PM
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Welcome Dave. It gets better, honestly. Go to the ER if it gets too bad. Talk to someone if you can so they can keep an eye on you tonight if necessary.
Support to you.
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