Shakes and nightmares
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
Shakes and nightmares
I feel embarrassed and ashamed. I've always drank way to much, but the last 2 years have damn near every day. I'm destroying my life. I'm 37 married with 2 boys. On the nights I choose not to drink, I can't sleep at all. If I get any sleep the nightmares are horrible. During the day my hands shake so bad, I think people around me notice. Every thing is falling apart.
I feel embarrassed and ashamed. I've always drank way to much, but the last 2 years have damn near every day. I'm destroying my life. I'm 37 married with 2 boys. On the nights I choose not to drink, I can't sleep at all. If I get any sleep the nightmares are horrible. During the day my hands shake so bad, I think people around me notice. Every thing is falling apart.
Glad you found the website!
Well, then take a look around the forums. There is plenty of support and information here.
Welcome! What will you do to stay busy tonight when you would start to think about drinking? Take a walk with your kids? Clean the car? Make a plan.
Go to bed sober, you'll never be sorry about that decision.
Welcome! What will you do to stay busy tonight when you would start to think about drinking? Take a walk with your kids? Clean the car? Make a plan.
Go to bed sober, you'll never be sorry about that decision.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
Well, then take a look around the forums. There is plenty of support and information here.
Welcome! What will you do to stay busy tonight when you would start to think about drinking? Take a walk with your kids? Clean the car? Make a plan.
Go to bed sober, you'll never be sorry about that decision.
Welcome! What will you do to stay busy tonight when you would start to think about drinking? Take a walk with your kids? Clean the car? Make a plan.
Go to bed sober, you'll never be sorry about that decision.
How about going in the house, getting a snack and sitting down at your computer or watching a movie, or going to bed? Anything OTHER than drink.
Welcome, Dave!
I couldn't stop drinking no matter how much I wished I could until I was willing to do anything to stop. Time in a treatment centre followed by regular participation in AA worked for me.
If you don't know what to do with yourself on a Friday night, maybe attending an open meeting might occupy some of that time. At an open meeting, you generally go to just hear someone speak and you don't even have to be a member. And you don't have to say anything yourself.
Sometimes meetings can be later in the evening, depending on where you are and if you can't make it to one, calling the hotline might help get you through the night.
Life can be really good again.
I couldn't stop drinking no matter how much I wished I could until I was willing to do anything to stop. Time in a treatment centre followed by regular participation in AA worked for me.
If you don't know what to do with yourself on a Friday night, maybe attending an open meeting might occupy some of that time. At an open meeting, you generally go to just hear someone speak and you don't even have to be a member. And you don't have to say anything yourself.
Sometimes meetings can be later in the evening, depending on where you are and if you can't make it to one, calling the hotline might help get you through the night.
Life can be really good again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
You have to start somewhere. How about not going to the garage? How about throwing away any alcohol in the garage before you go to the event?
How about going in the house, getting a snack and sitting down at your computer or watching a movie, or going to bed? Anything OTHER than drink.
How about going in the house, getting a snack and sitting down at your computer or watching a movie, or going to bed? Anything OTHER than drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
Welcome, Dave!
I couldn't stop drinking no matter how much I wished I could until I was willing to do anything to stop. Time in a treatment centre followed by regular participation in AA worked for me.
If you don't know what to do with yourself on a Friday night, maybe attending an open meeting might occupy some of that time. At an open meeting, you generally go to just hear someone speak and you don't even have to be a member. And you don't have to say anything yourself.
Sometimes meetings can be later in the evening, depending on where you are and if you can't make it to one, calling the hotline might help get you through the night.
Life can be really good again.
I couldn't stop drinking no matter how much I wished I could until I was willing to do anything to stop. Time in a treatment centre followed by regular participation in AA worked for me.
If you don't know what to do with yourself on a Friday night, maybe attending an open meeting might occupy some of that time. At an open meeting, you generally go to just hear someone speak and you don't even have to be a member. And you don't have to say anything yourself.
Sometimes meetings can be later in the evening, depending on where you are and if you can't make it to one, calling the hotline might help get you through the night.
Life can be really good again.
There are a gazillion options. Choose one. Close the garage party down. Get the help that you need and get it now.
I was exactly where you are now two years ago. I traveled with my two boys and got on an airplane with shaky hands. I could barely hand over the boarding pass to the gate agent and my kids noticed and commented. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But, trust me, there are worse things that can happen. Like death. I got help. You can too, but you have to seek it. Make a plan. Don't let alcoholism define you. You're better than that. And, for goodness sake, don't let the idea of closing off your garage serve as an impediment to your health.
LOL, sleep is quite elusive in the first few weeks, dave. It's just part of the healing process. A little discomfort, is all.
I had trouble sleeping and I would get out of bed, make a snack, come on this site and read for half hour or so, then go back to bed. I slept when I could (which wasn't much) in early days. Your body will let you sleep when it absolutely needs to. I drank a lot of calming teas and Sleepytime tea. It's just jumpy/spinny brain and lots of irritability. It gets better with healing time.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. It slows everything down. When you are coming off of it, the nervous system is at high activation (not the right words, but I hope you understand) - trying to reach homeostasis again. Sleep will return.
Exercise and good nutrition helped me a lot in that first month. It's just you will be in recovery from a serious illness, and you have to kind of be gentle to yourself.
I'll start...((hug))
I had trouble sleeping and I would get out of bed, make a snack, come on this site and read for half hour or so, then go back to bed. I slept when I could (which wasn't much) in early days. Your body will let you sleep when it absolutely needs to. I drank a lot of calming teas and Sleepytime tea. It's just jumpy/spinny brain and lots of irritability. It gets better with healing time.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. It slows everything down. When you are coming off of it, the nervous system is at high activation (not the right words, but I hope you understand) - trying to reach homeostasis again. Sleep will return.
Exercise and good nutrition helped me a lot in that first month. It's just you will be in recovery from a serious illness, and you have to kind of be gentle to yourself.
I'll start...((hug))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
Come home late. Don't answer your door. Spill something really smelly in your garage. Tell whoever it is that wants to hang out in your garage that you have a big work deadline and can't this weekend. Spill some paint in your garage. Stay at a hotel tonight. Put a sign on your door that the garage is offlimits. Feign sickness. Have a mold problem. Tell your friends that you are concerned about your relationship with alcohol and need to stop for awhile. Tell your friends that you are taking a 30-day break from booze. Tell your friends that you are taking medication that doesn't allow you to drink.
There are a gazillion options. Choose one. Close the garage party down. Get the help that you need and get it now.
I was exactly where you are now two years ago. I traveled with my two boys and got on an airplane with shaky hands. I could barely hand over the boarding pass to the gate agent and my kids noticed and commented. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But, trust me, there are worse things that can happen. Like death. I got help. You can too, but you have to seek it. Make a plan. Don't let alcoholism define you. You're better than that. And, for goodness sake, don't let the idea of closing off your garage serve as an impediment to your health.
There are a gazillion options. Choose one. Close the garage party down. Get the help that you need and get it now.
I was exactly where you are now two years ago. I traveled with my two boys and got on an airplane with shaky hands. I could barely hand over the boarding pass to the gate agent and my kids noticed and commented. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But, trust me, there are worse things that can happen. Like death. I got help. You can too, but you have to seek it. Make a plan. Don't let alcoholism define you. You're better than that. And, for goodness sake, don't let the idea of closing off your garage serve as an impediment to your health.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
LOL, sleep is quite elusive in the first few weeks, dave. It's just part of the healing process. A little discomfort, is all.
I had trouble sleeping and I would get out of bed, make a snack, come on this site and read for half hour or so, then go back to bed. I slept when I could (which wasn't much) in early days. Your body will let you sleep when it absolutely needs to. I drank a lot of calming teas and Sleepytime tea. It's just jumpy/spinny brain and lots of irritability. It gets better with healing time.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. It slows everything down. When you are coming off of it, the nervous system is at high activation (not the right words, but I hope you understand) - trying to reach homeostasis again. Sleep will return.
Exercise and good nutrition helped me a lot in that first month. It's just you will be in recovery from a serious illness, and you have to kind of be gentle to yourself.
I'll start...((hug))
I had trouble sleeping and I would get out of bed, make a snack, come on this site and read for half hour or so, then go back to bed. I slept when I could (which wasn't much) in early days. Your body will let you sleep when it absolutely needs to. I drank a lot of calming teas and Sleepytime tea. It's just jumpy/spinny brain and lots of irritability. It gets better with healing time.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. It slows everything down. When you are coming off of it, the nervous system is at high activation (not the right words, but I hope you understand) - trying to reach homeostasis again. Sleep will return.
Exercise and good nutrition helped me a lot in that first month. It's just you will be in recovery from a serious illness, and you have to kind of be gentle to yourself.
I'll start...((hug))
Does your wife support your efforts to quit? Is she an alcoholic? Do you think she knows the extent of your problem?
I never wanted to show any "weakness" to my girl. I took great pride in being "tough" and believed that to be a great quality. I still think there is value in that, but not when it is built on lies and not in the context of this disease. Hiding the extent of my addiction from the person closest to me and not seeking her support in overcoming it were neither positive attributes nor signs of me being tough. Rather, they were ill-conceived, irrational, and deceitful (and the deceit nearly destroyed us). I no longer view this disease in terms of toughness or weakness - it just shouldn't be measured in those terms - but if my actions were anything that could be placed on this scale, they could only be described as weak.
I never wanted to show any "weakness" to my girl. I took great pride in being "tough" and believed that to be a great quality. I still think there is value in that, but not when it is built on lies and not in the context of this disease. Hiding the extent of my addiction from the person closest to me and not seeking her support in overcoming it were neither positive attributes nor signs of me being tough. Rather, they were ill-conceived, irrational, and deceitful (and the deceit nearly destroyed us). I no longer view this disease in terms of toughness or weakness - it just shouldn't be measured in those terms - but if my actions were anything that could be placed on this scale, they could only be described as weak.
Dave, I don't know where you are in the world, or what time it is where you are, but can you get some medical advice? Even a trip to ER (or A&E if you're here in the UK)
Sounds like you could use some reassurance x
Sounds like you could use some reassurance x
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