Shakes and nightmares
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by soberandhonest 
Does your wife support your efforts to quit? Is she an alcoholic? Do you think she knows the extent of your problem?
I never wanted to show any "weakness" to my girl. I took great pride in being "tough" and believed that to be a great quality. I still think there is value in that, but not when it is built on lies and not in the context of this disease. Hiding the extent of my addiction from the person closest to me and not seeking her support in overcoming it were neither positive attributes nor signs of me being tough. Rather, they were ill-conceived, irrational, and deceitful (and the deceit nearly destroyed us). I no longer view this disease in terms of toughness or weakness - it just shouldn't be measured in those terms - but if my actions were anything that could be placed on this scale, they could only be described as weak.
I never wanted to show any "weakness" to my girl. I took great pride in being "tough" and believed that to be a great quality. I still think there is value in that, but not when it is built on lies and not in the context of this disease. Hiding the extent of my addiction from the person closest to me and not seeking her support in overcoming it were neither positive attributes nor signs of me being tough. Rather, they were ill-conceived, irrational, and deceitful (and the deceit nearly destroyed us). I no longer view this disease in terms of toughness or weakness - it just shouldn't be measured in those terms - but if my actions were anything that could be placed on this scale, they could only be described as weak.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by DarklingSong
Welcome Dave. It gets better, honestly. Go to the ER if it gets too bad. Talk to someone if you can so they can keep an eye on you tonight if necessary.
Support to you.
Support to you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 328
Well done Dave for coming here.
A few tough days ahead initially regards sleep etc but it does even out if you don’t drink. If you do drink it doesn’t and the pain is delayed and most probably made worse.
Getting sober and staying sober is the very definition of strength Dave.
It couldn’t be any further away from being weak.
All the best to you this weekend
A few tough days ahead initially regards sleep etc but it does even out if you don’t drink. If you do drink it doesn’t and the pain is delayed and most probably made worse.
Getting sober and staying sober is the very definition of strength Dave.
It couldn’t be any further away from being weak.
All the best to you this weekend
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Regarding "weak", addiction has nothing to do with being weak or strong or having enough willpower.
I think it takes courage and strength to become humble enough to admit one doesn't have all the answers and to ask for help with a problem. To be willing to try something different.
If I needed medicine for something, I wouldn't worry that someone thought I was weak for taking it.
At my first AA meeting, the biggest feeling I had was relief.
I think it takes courage and strength to become humble enough to admit one doesn't have all the answers and to ask for help with a problem. To be willing to try something different.
If I needed medicine for something, I wouldn't worry that someone thought I was weak for taking it.
At my first AA meeting, the biggest feeling I had was relief.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I'm also the kind of person that sets goals and works hard to achieve them and I usually do. I hate not being able to accomplish something I set my mind to do. I'm almost fanatical about it, but alcohol is different. There's nothing weak about it. IMHO, the only way to beat it and win is to quit and fight my best to get and stay sober. It's not accepting defeat. It's accepting reality and putting my energy into beating something that seems at times almost unbeatable. And there's nothing weak about that. For me, that's as much a victory as any I've had. Good luck. John
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
I'm so glad you joined us, Davesnothere. You're in good company. When I first came here, I was so relieved to find out I never had to be alone anymore. We all understand what you're going through. The early days of recovery are rough - but it all gets better & easier as you get some sober time behind you. Life is going to be so much better when you get free.
I agree about the weakness thing - you're anything but weak. You aren't hiding from your problem - you're facing it, & that takes bravery. We're here to listen & help - any time.
I agree about the weakness thing - you're anything but weak. You aren't hiding from your problem - you're facing it, & that takes bravery. We're here to listen & help - any time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Hey Dave, welcome. Keep reading, posting, and learning. Most here started out in a similar place as you. If you posted here, you clearly felt the need to reach out for help. I don't have s whole lot of advice to give cuz I'm new to this too, but in regards to feeling weak--don't. I think it takes a strong person to realize they need a hand and to ask for it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,344
Some great advice here already davesnothere.
Withdrawal is not pleasant and you will probably find it rough going for a few days.
Its another of those prices we pay.
I really recommend you see a Dr about that if you're worried about it.
D
Withdrawal is not pleasant and you will probably find it rough going for a few days.
Its another of those prices we pay.
I really recommend you see a Dr about that if you're worried about it.
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
