Originally Posted by Nikkabean326
Thank you so much for all the kind words on this post. It's been a few hours since I posted this and I'm in a much better head space after chatting with my SO (I even had an out loud heart to heart with myself on the way home from work.. it helps even though I look and sound nuts.)
I'm going to the outing and I know I won't drink. I'm going to be with three other ladies that I adore spending time with. We're going to laugh, picnic in the sun, tell stories, gossip, and talk about the impending nuptials (I'm in the wedding.)
Coming here is my therapy. Just for a quick post to process what I'm feeling. Thank you all for reading and commenting!
So you've thought it out and made a decision - ok. Here's my $0.02 to what just happened to me that blindsided me.
Last weekend, my fiance and I went to a wedding of a dear childhood friend. I had NO desire to drink, but I was beyond agitated and disturbed that wine, specifically, was everywhere at the events - and frankly, in every store in Highlands NC - and even some sober people have observed how true that is so it wasn't just my alcoholic mind seeing it
Seriously, though, probably a good 70% of places were stores like "Pastries & Wine", "Madison's Bistro and Wine Yard"...."Pet Gifts & Wine" (I ad libbed that last one but it was a great pet store...). I had to work SO hard to use my program tools to 1 not be a complete jerk to my beloved (or be resentful to my precious friend in any way, like inviting me!) 2 try to flip my attitude and thinking to get out of my disturbed state and 3 basically get through and get home. We used our usual party tools of going, staying long enough, paying thanks/respects and leaving early. It was just so stressful- and I didn't expect it! At 19 mo sober, one thing I realized is how CAREFULLY built our life is. We just don't go to that many social events and the parties and such we do go to reflect our lifestyle (he's sober too). We are not even going to have alcohol at our wedding- and frankly, if people don't like it then we made a mistake inviting them.
ALL of this to say.....this week has felt like a huge leap FORWARD for me, after a tough weekend, because I looked at the lessons, what was disturbing me and the emotional sobriety pieces I worked on and need to learn from.
While I didn't expect this at 19 mo, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to experience this at 5 or 6.
I guess my long response is meant to echo what others have said, share that we CAN successfully get through things, and I personally needed a strong STRONG program that would get me through and onward from something similar to what you are going to do.
Just take care of yourself, and don't drink, and see what you can learn and what you can focus on while there to enjoy.