Ekohe

Though I've heard desperation can be a blessing in disguise. I don't know how I did it last year, 6 months of sobriety, but more or less since february I am back in old routines of weekend binge drinking. Usually one day of the weekend, but this weekend I drank 3 nights in a row. 7 beers thursday, 6 friday and 7+ a bar outing saturday. Here I am on day two, at work worried about having a heart attack or siezure from withdrawal at 26 years old. I am willing to do anything, which I do not believe I was before. Any suggestions may help, my doctor has said I am not at risk of any serious withdrawal, and I don't have the shakes, or any serious symptoms minus the anxiety and rapid heartbeat.

I need help. I have a great life outside of this revolving door.

SaturatedSeize

Hello, and thanks for posting!

What did you do before that led to six months? You have the gift of a lengthy term of sobriety already achieved, and you know what works. What caused your relapse?

I have to make the conscious decision every day that I'm NOT going to drink. Recognizing people, places, thoughts, that trigger my cravings, and having an outlet for when those cravings come. For me, posting and reading here have been pivotal in my sobriety. I check in here every morning when I get to work, and every night before bed. I chat, post for people, it's such a positive place in a negative world.

For me, it's understanding I can't drink in moderation and absolute sobriety is a must. It's looking back on failed relationships, friendships, and the way I treat people when I'm drunk. I'm MEAN, and it pains me to relive my words and actions, drunk. Recently, I lost the love of my life, my future, and my best friend. That's what inspired me to get help and take it seriously. What motivates you for sobriety? My emotions, the shame, regret, embarrassment, GUILT, it isn't anything I want in my life, ever again, because of drinking.

You can do it, we all can, one step, one day, one hour or minute, at a time.

Stick around, keep posting, we all have your back through the good and bad.

Ekohe

@SaturatedSeize First I would like to say sorry that you have lost so much. I'm fortunate enough to have not lost anything very significant, but it is impacting my life to the point that I stand to lose everything. I worked with a therapist, and a large part of my success was due to writing in a journal daily, and posting here. Also I cut out drinking "buddies" who have since found their way back into my life. I slipped on my birthday and since then, it has been almost every weekend until this last one.

Ekohe

My health, and the person I am when I am sober (Hard working, motivated, caring ect.) motivate me to want to live my life completely sober. I know I have to work hard at it, and it will get easier with time. I just have to get through these first few days, with this oozing anxiety.

SaturatedSeize

Losing a lot has brought me to a place in my life I never thought I'd ever get to, or want to get to. I was perfectly fine being the mean drunk and bounce around with no purpose. It was always everybody else's problem. I wish more then anything it didn't come to this, but I can make those changes now, and have a better life from it. I have to look at it this way or the guilt and shame will destroy me emotionally.

You recognize the impact your drinking is having, and your relapse occurred on a special occasion (birthday) where it's easy to justify a couple drinks. I did it, ALL THE TIME. "It's Thursday! I can go to the bar for Football," "It's Wednesday, a rough day, I need a drink," "Taco Tuesday! Beer me!" We are addicts, we rationalize that drink every way we can. Journaling is an awesome idea, do you still do it?

The anxiety is awful, I can't deny that. Last week was hell for me (on day 8 myself). But I used all the tools I know I have, and today it's very manageable and almost non-existent. You will get through it, you will make the changes, and you will be sober with us

Anna

I do think that feeling desperate can help you get through the early days. I know I was desperate when I stopped drinking.

When you were sober for 6 months, what other changes did you make in your life? I know I had to do some soul-searching and make some changes people and activities in my life. I think this is so important for long-term recovery.

I used SR and a lot of inspirational books to help me recover. I hope that you find a recovery plan that works for you.

Ekohe

I am planning in checking on here in the morning and night, and a note I wrote to myself on my last time recovering from a 5 day bender last august that led to my 6 month sobriety, I am going to journal nightly and read more often. I need this forums help to get there again, it was a key to my last success.

Mountainmanbob

Try to catch hold before it's too late.

Best way -- total abstinence.

M-Bob

Dee74

Have you considered adding anything else besides posting here Ekohe?

D

anxiousrock

I am 29 and very similar story. I was binge drinking every couple of weekends, but it started turning into 2 day benders. Not what you need at this age.
Currently almost 1.5 months sober. Life is easier and harder at the same time but you have to keep going.

Ekohe

Going to tell friends I need to go my own way, they seem to be a massive trigger. I am also going to take up journaling, and exercise again. These are what got me those 6 months.

least

I hope this is the time that you get sober for good.

Gottalife

Good AA in Toronto. Plenty of long term recovery experience there to benefit from. And it comes with a no obligation misery back guarantee. What have you got to lose?

Berrybean

Out of the hoards of drinking buddies I did find that there were one or two who turned out to be real friends, and responsed positively when I suggested alternative (sober) activities. But I needed to be the one to suggest those activities.

Have you considered face to face support at all? It sounds like your drinking is linked to social activity, and isolating isn't much of an option long term. I've made some of my closest and more trusted friends of my lifetime in the rooms of AA (obviously, not everyone there, but a good handful of people who are now like sisters to me).

Maybe read through Dee's thread about making a plan and see what else you could add in... https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

Wishing you all the best for sobriety and your recovery.
BB

MythOfSisyphus

It's good to see you posting, Ekohe.