Nowsthetime

Hi sweet:

I'm sorry that you drank and drove. Please don't do that. Hurting yourself is one thing but risking others is selfish and crossing the line.

You spoke of buying this car and how you don't have money. What's the logic in that.

You also say "it's not a relapse, it's a slip" and this denial will not let you move forward.

How's your plan? Many have suggested that he posted before drinking.

Remember: nothing changes if nothing changes.

hellrzr

This line is a great example of the insanity of alcoholism! Absolute denial to what is plain to see to everyone else. If your intention was to not drink and then you drank than it was absolutely a relapse.

Sweetchick, thank you very much for your postings. Reading your posts and the posts of those who try to help you sure help remind me why I don't want to go back to drinking. If I did I would be taking the same insane actions thinking that this time something would be different.

I know that you sharing your struggle is helping many of us on this board. Now you need to go to AA and share these struggles and get some face to face help. I hope you encounter enough pain soon that you will be willing to do what it takes to get better. If you don't take action than nothing is ever going to get better. AA will save your life if you let it.

Hevyn

Sweeti - if you ended up going to the meeting, let us know how it was. Thinking of you.

least

In my humble opinion, a relapse and a slip are the same thing, just different words for it. "Slip" sounds innocuous, just a little thing. But three bottles of wine is not a "little thing".

Get honest with yourself and you might have a shot at getting sober for good.

2muchpain

This topic reminds me of a time when I was at an AA meeting. I was sharing about a relapse I had. This old-timer just reamed me saying there is no such thing as a relapse. She went on and on about how the word relapse was just word to describe something else, but I could understand what she meant. I never did ask her what she meant, cause she was so furious about me using this word. Decided right there and than to keep any future "whatevers" to myself. Couldn't figure out what the right term was so better to not take any chances. LOL John

Gottalife

How was the AA meeting sweetichick?

sweetichick

I'm back drinking today. I had a big fight with my man friend. He is so full of negativity, what is wrong with me etc. I have made a new friend who suffers from depression and anxiety themselves. They have been my rock today. I can't keep doing this shift. I need to stop and find something else to do with my sad life. And it is sad.

ReadyAtLast

Nothing will change if you don't make changes. Why do you think you are suddenly going to have a great relationship with your man friend who treats you so badly? It will carry on as long as you let it.

your new friend isn't going to keep you sober, as your car won't.

Only YOU can make the changes you need. I had to be at the stage where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink and be determined to do anything to do it.

Dee74

RAL is right Sweetichick - only you can make the right choices that will change your life.

D

MythOfSisyphus

I hope you realize that alcohol is not refuge for you when things get tough- it's a prison where you're being punished every day and kept away from the a healthy, meaningful life.

sweetichick

Very sad that I am drinking. Have a truckload of excuses but not cutting it. My man friend was so horrible. Went ballistic about how many smokes I had. Can't cope. Hoping my old car will sell. Eventhough it will give me more money for booze

ReadyAtLast

There will always be excuses for drinking. Why not put the energy you put into drinking to recovery instead of feeling sorry for yourself? course you can't cope - drinking negates any ability to cope.

It doesn't seem to matter what advice you get or what people say trying to hep you it really does come across as though you're not that serious about quitting. There will always be a reason/excuse to drink. If you want to be sober you have to put heart and soul into it and really want it.

MindfulMan

I haven't started working the steps, but I did get Step One in rehab. REALLY got it, I was so in denial that I had a problem and that medical detox was just "a medication issue." Yeah, that lasted about a week.

We were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.

You drove drunk, drank again because of a fight with your man friend, and are considering spending money from your car sale on booze. I don't buy the Even though part. You're already making plans to do so. Do you still think that you can manage drinking, and that your life is OK as it is?

If you really want to stop....I mean REALLY want to stop, what's your plan?

Dee74

Everyone wants to see you turn this around Sweetichick....but you need to make some tough choices about who and what you want in your life and how you're going to stay sober.

The longer you continue to drink, the tougher the choices are going to get I'm afraid....

D

Steely

Dearest sweetchick I've never been "happily drunk" for a very long time, and sounds the same for you too. Strange how we drink and make ourselves sad, hey? Doesn't have to be that way.

Give AA a try, nothing to lose but your chains. I don't attend anymore, but in the beginning it taught me a lot.

Please don't drink and drive, I might just be in that other car, sober. "Jump in my car."

Steely

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YsJAhUtDXRE

Ignore the last verse, I'll drive ya home. But stop drinkin'

Renvate

One thing Iam starting to realise more and more in my early days is that one needs to WANT to quit so badly that it takes all prioperties. You become a "recovering alcoholic". Its the new persona that you need to adapt, and accept about yourself.

But sweet chicks situation sounds to me like she is far from this WANT. Maby she does want it, but just does not know how to want it and is going through the turbulence of denial, anger at oneself, self pity and complacency.

All these emotions can lead to a "f**K it" attitude which in turn makes the road to being sober much harder and the drink easier - it's a endless loop

I was at a low point at my last binge. I defended my actions, problems, personality and choices to the bitter end, but then realised I was only talking to myself and I knew I was still wrong no matter what I said.

tomsteve

is this new friend the bottle or another drinker?

think about it- you have a new friend that SUFFERS from depression and anxiety- no disrespect, but how is someone that SUFFERS from depression and anxiety gonna be a rock?
wouldnt you rather have a rock that has TREATED the anxiety and depression and no longer suffers from it be your rock?

DontRemember

Nothing really to add as plenty of solid advice has already been posted. I will say that it seems to me you're still drinking,from drinking. Notice how your 'slip' has now turned into a full on binge? You have to accept that the first drink got you here and not pick that one up...ever.

Algorithm

Recovery concerns aside, I would recommend a voluntary ignition interlock device. It would be much cheaper and safer than even a run-of-the-mill DUI stop without any extenuating circumstances, such as an accident. With extenuating circumstances, the price can easily go up, especially with injuries to others or property damage.

If you can't afford a proper interlock device, there is a company called SafeKey that sells a device for around $300 with no monthly payments that works for various forms of impairment, not just alcohol-related ones, and is fairly discreet. It also acts as an anti-theft device, since the ignition bob is on your key chain, and the car cannot be started without it.

The SafeKey device won't prevent an attempt to drive at a 0.02 BAC, perhaps, but it will stop you from driving if you are reasonably impaired, even if just for lack of sufficient sleep. You can probably find information fairly easily via a quick Google search.