Stop Drinking NOW.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
Stop Drinking NOW.
Hi all. I haven't posted in a long time, but I've been here many times.
My best friend, more like a sister or even a mother to me (she was only ten years older, but I met her when I was 16, I am 49 now.)
I even called her "Mom" at that age.
This woman could put Martha Stewart to shame with her talents.
She took her first sip of alcohol at age 27. She never stopped.
Sober times quickly became shorter as the benders became longer.
At one point around 2011, I told her "I will do anything to help you live, but I will NOT sit here and watch you die."
She could not be honest with anyone about her alcoholism. Tried to cover it up by saying she had an autoimmune disorder, e-coli, and more.
One night in 2015, (i had not spoken to her in 2 years) She showed up at my door--what was once 5'10" tall gorgeous woman had shrunk down to what looked like a 98 year old woman, combined with yellow eyes and skin, stomach full of ascites (they would drain liters --often, evidently) legs the size of tree trunks that were seeping fluid.
I heard the Doctor ask her "How long have you had Cirrhosis" She replied "a year". Later, when she returned home, "sober", she would deny this.
She fell ALL THE TIME. Once, impaling her cheek with an iron fence post-close to her eye. Another time, a Hematoma formed all over her face and neck.
In 2016, I had not heard from her. I knew she was alone. I was burned out of taking her to hospitals and rehabs ("saving" her) only to have her deny all of it later.
The door was ajar-very unusual for this wealthy neighborhood. i smelt death...but she was there. On the sofa, alive. Barely. There were no less than 30 of the big double wine bottles in front of her in various stages of placement--broken, sideways, straight up, all empty. This number of empty bottles would grow before our other friend showed up the next day. I don't have a clue how she was getting the wine. Doesn't really matter.
I left her there. I said goodbye that day. i was done. I did not call 911. I regret this.
I at least had the sense to call our mutual friend, who had not been on the same rollercoaster with her as long as I had. She showed up, called 911, and our friend survived, was back home within a fews days, lamenting her autoimmune disorder.
She had alienated almost everyone over the years, including her two adult children. I watched them grow up. I know what they went through.
Regardless, I had a change of heart and kept her somewhat in my life, without letting it control my emotions.
About two months ago, she wasn't drinking; sounded clearly sober, and then out of the blue during a conversation, would start yelling at the Witches in her house. Her brain was definitely affected.
Last Thursday, she fell again. Her current boyfriend was there. Said he heard a loud thud as she fell off the bed. She was standing up when he went to get her Advil (of all things). When he got back in the room, she was passed out, and her pupils were not responding. Enter 911.
Long story longer....we all (including the ambulance) arrived at the hospital around 5ish. Within about an hour, A TEAM of nurses and doctors entered the little room me and her BF were in. They told us she would die without them removing part of her skull and looking for bleeding. (they had done the scan on her brain already). This surgery was a big maybe. They said her body was so "done" due to the cirrhosis, low platelets, etc., most alcoholics cannot survive this kind of surgery. They also noted all of the other injuries from previous falls on the brain. We told them to try the surgery .
Within two hours, it didn't work. They kept her alive (not conscious) all day while we waited for all her family. Including her kids. During this time, you could see the heart attacks on the EKG screen. Her heart rate was all over the place - 300 one second, 150 the next.
Eventually everyone said their good byes and allowed her to go in peace. The doctors unhooked the machines that were keeping her alive.
I had my face right next to her as she took her last breath. I watched her color turn white, her tongue slightly out of her mouth. I watched her spirit leave her body. I have never done that.
This was the biggest waste of a life of a loving person. She was also an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, although she never sought treatment for that. I encourage any of you who came from a badly dysfunctional home to look into ACoA. I wonder how much of this could have been prevented if this were addressed much earlier. Maybe none. I don't know.
I am the one to give her Eulogy, and I will. Remembering so much of her positives.
This is the strangest I have felt in a long time.
Don't moderate, don't make rules....she did. ONCE YOU CROSS OVER THAT INVISIBLE LINE, THERE IS NO GOING BACK. If you don't believe it won't progress with you, you are lying to yourself. That invisible line isn't in a ditch with a paper bag of rot gut alcohol. In this case, it was in a well dressed, well spoken, previously 6 figure income earning sales leader, in a house loaded with Henredon Furniture, Fine clothes, original Picassos, and much more.
Stop. Drinking. Now.
My best friend, more like a sister or even a mother to me (she was only ten years older, but I met her when I was 16, I am 49 now.)
I even called her "Mom" at that age.
This woman could put Martha Stewart to shame with her talents.
She took her first sip of alcohol at age 27. She never stopped.
Sober times quickly became shorter as the benders became longer.
At one point around 2011, I told her "I will do anything to help you live, but I will NOT sit here and watch you die."
She could not be honest with anyone about her alcoholism. Tried to cover it up by saying she had an autoimmune disorder, e-coli, and more.
One night in 2015, (i had not spoken to her in 2 years) She showed up at my door--what was once 5'10" tall gorgeous woman had shrunk down to what looked like a 98 year old woman, combined with yellow eyes and skin, stomach full of ascites (they would drain liters --often, evidently) legs the size of tree trunks that were seeping fluid.
I heard the Doctor ask her "How long have you had Cirrhosis" She replied "a year". Later, when she returned home, "sober", she would deny this.
She fell ALL THE TIME. Once, impaling her cheek with an iron fence post-close to her eye. Another time, a Hematoma formed all over her face and neck.
In 2016, I had not heard from her. I knew she was alone. I was burned out of taking her to hospitals and rehabs ("saving" her) only to have her deny all of it later.
The door was ajar-very unusual for this wealthy neighborhood. i smelt death...but she was there. On the sofa, alive. Barely. There were no less than 30 of the big double wine bottles in front of her in various stages of placement--broken, sideways, straight up, all empty. This number of empty bottles would grow before our other friend showed up the next day. I don't have a clue how she was getting the wine. Doesn't really matter.
I left her there. I said goodbye that day. i was done. I did not call 911. I regret this.
I at least had the sense to call our mutual friend, who had not been on the same rollercoaster with her as long as I had. She showed up, called 911, and our friend survived, was back home within a fews days, lamenting her autoimmune disorder.
She had alienated almost everyone over the years, including her two adult children. I watched them grow up. I know what they went through.
Regardless, I had a change of heart and kept her somewhat in my life, without letting it control my emotions.
About two months ago, she wasn't drinking; sounded clearly sober, and then out of the blue during a conversation, would start yelling at the Witches in her house. Her brain was definitely affected.
Last Thursday, she fell again. Her current boyfriend was there. Said he heard a loud thud as she fell off the bed. She was standing up when he went to get her Advil (of all things). When he got back in the room, she was passed out, and her pupils were not responding. Enter 911.
Long story longer....we all (including the ambulance) arrived at the hospital around 5ish. Within about an hour, A TEAM of nurses and doctors entered the little room me and her BF were in. They told us she would die without them removing part of her skull and looking for bleeding. (they had done the scan on her brain already). This surgery was a big maybe. They said her body was so "done" due to the cirrhosis, low platelets, etc., most alcoholics cannot survive this kind of surgery. They also noted all of the other injuries from previous falls on the brain. We told them to try the surgery .
Within two hours, it didn't work. They kept her alive (not conscious) all day while we waited for all her family. Including her kids. During this time, you could see the heart attacks on the EKG screen. Her heart rate was all over the place - 300 one second, 150 the next.
Eventually everyone said their good byes and allowed her to go in peace. The doctors unhooked the machines that were keeping her alive.
I had my face right next to her as she took her last breath. I watched her color turn white, her tongue slightly out of her mouth. I watched her spirit leave her body. I have never done that.
This was the biggest waste of a life of a loving person. She was also an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, although she never sought treatment for that. I encourage any of you who came from a badly dysfunctional home to look into ACoA. I wonder how much of this could have been prevented if this were addressed much earlier. Maybe none. I don't know.
I am the one to give her Eulogy, and I will. Remembering so much of her positives.
This is the strangest I have felt in a long time.
Don't moderate, don't make rules....she did. ONCE YOU CROSS OVER THAT INVISIBLE LINE, THERE IS NO GOING BACK. If you don't believe it won't progress with you, you are lying to yourself. That invisible line isn't in a ditch with a paper bag of rot gut alcohol. In this case, it was in a well dressed, well spoken, previously 6 figure income earning sales leader, in a house loaded with Henredon Furniture, Fine clothes, original Picassos, and much more.
Stop. Drinking. Now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: California
Posts: 339
Wow......I'm so sorry, this really touched me. I agree with the whole "invisible line" I have no limits when I consume alcohol, which is why I can't consume it at all! Very sad post yet very inspiring thank you for sharing this. Again i'm sorry about your friend.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Very sorry for your loss.
I too watched a very close friend of mine die from alcoholism. What a brutal way to go.
At last they are at peace.
This disease is not joking around at all.
Take care,
Jules
I too watched a very close friend of mine die from alcoholism. What a brutal way to go.
At last they are at peace.
This disease is not joking around at all.
Take care,
Jules
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Incredible and touching story.
I am sorry you had to go through this.
I'm guessing her injuries to her brain were caused by seizures when you lose consciousness, motor ability and just fall. It can be very dangerous due to that reason and many die as a result from hitting their head unable to prevent injury collapsing onto pavement, bathtubs, stairs. Seizures strike without warning or discrimination.
Sympathies to you and your friend. May she finally rest in peace.
I am sorry you had to go through this.
I'm guessing her injuries to her brain were caused by seizures when you lose consciousness, motor ability and just fall. It can be very dangerous due to that reason and many die as a result from hitting their head unable to prevent injury collapsing onto pavement, bathtubs, stairs. Seizures strike without warning or discrimination.
Sympathies to you and your friend. May she finally rest in peace.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
That is one of the most affecting things I have read in a long time. Thank you for sharing it, and I'm very sorry you had to experience this.
This disease is no joke. It kills, plain and simple.
This disease is no joke. It kills, plain and simple.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I am living this right now.
Could have written it. Even the large bottles of wine -- in her case Cavit Pinot Grigio.
But she's still "functions" a bit more than your friend. If you call functioning standing in her kitchen for 8 hours a day driving said Pinot "functioning."
We just lost her oldest son to drugs (the kindest, most loving person I have even met at 24) and the second is tittering after losing his brother, and she can't be there for them. Because the pinot is running the show. And the pinot doesn't care.
Thank you.
Could have written it. Even the large bottles of wine -- in her case Cavit Pinot Grigio.
But she's still "functions" a bit more than your friend. If you call functioning standing in her kitchen for 8 hours a day driving said Pinot "functioning."
We just lost her oldest son to drugs (the kindest, most loving person I have even met at 24) and the second is tittering after losing his brother, and she can't be there for them. Because the pinot is running the show. And the pinot doesn't care.
Thank you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
