Charli23

Not much else I can say really 😔

Dee74

hi Charli

Might not be much you can say but I think there's a lot you can do tho?

Do you need to make more changes in your life?

do you need more support?
do you need to use the support you have more effectively?

do you need AA level support (or SMART or Lifering or some other meeting based recovery group)?

Could a book based approach like Rational Recovery and AVRT help you?

Would seeing your Dr help?

Do you think you need inpatient or outpatient rehab?

you can pretty much answer all these questions for yourself today Charli - and hit the ground running tomorrow

D

Delilah1

Great advice above Charlie, you can do this. What have you tried so far?

Charli23

Well to be honest , I was doing well for a while . I didn't tell anyone I was quitting. When I told my mother about the shakiness and anxiety withdrawals she flat out said "I don't believe that"
This time I've been slowly sucked back in to the bingeing. Not as bad bad as before , once a week but I can't have 1 drink I have to have 9??
Can't believe I'm starting over.
I think I do need some support. At the end of the day I told no i was quitting so if I DID drink no one would bat an eyelid and ask me what the hell I was doing. I need to own my bull##it
Any ideas where I should go from here. Can't do AA or doctor.

Steely

I had the same experience with others saying they did not believe me to be 'alcoholic' Charli.

Well, that was early in my career, later they came to see (by my behaviour) that indeed I was, it was undeniable. Besides, the 'others' started running a mile. Can't blame them.

Others telling me that they did not think me alcoholic only gave me justification to continue, and I had to come to the realisation myself after many relapses great regret and sorrow.

The best decision I have ever made in deciding to quit for good and slowly my life is improving. I relapsed in May 2017. Never again, I swear. I just don't drink.

I hate (understatement) the days following a lapse/relapse but now feel so free and those early days of disappointment and feelings of defeat change as the sober days build and strength and integrity return.

You can do this Charli, we all can if we so decide. I only use SR as my support system, maybe if you just kept posting and reading it would help to reinforce your decision to quit for keeps?

My very best wishes to you Charli.

Charli23

Thanks for taking the time to post . Means a lot

Forward12

Any reason why?

january161992

hi Charli

your job is to keep posting

our job is to be supportive of you helping yourself which in turn helps us

Anna

Charlie, there are lots of things you can do and here is our list of recovery programs and ideas for sobriety:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Charli23

Day 2
Dragged myself through work yesterday. Got home ate and slept for 11 hours. Feel so much better this morning .To answer your question about AA and doctors, I'm a teacher in a small town. Everyone knows everyone else's business.
I need to make a plan , a routine for the weekend . That's when I'm in danger.

hpdw

Morning , day 40 for me . Yesterday I went a 6 mile round walk along the canal banks . The towpath is well looked after so good for walking cycling . Since it was a nice enough day there were plenty people out and about . I cast my memory back to the days I walked this same walk but for the purpose of drinking . I even fell in the canal once drunk ! well to be exact I cycled in drunk .
I felt myself cringe at that thought .
Anyway I pulled myself out of the past and enjoyed the still September air and thanked God for my sober day .

hpdw

Hi Charli , I hope you are feeling better . I live in a small town so I understand what you mean .

I posted the above in your thread meaning to post in September thread , sorry .

Charli23

No worries, nice to to hear your story. Well done on day 40 . Hope to be there in 38 days!!!

Gottalife

And you think they don't know about your drinking? Where do you buy your booze?

Charli23

I don't drink everyday , I'm a binge drinker. So easy to split up where I go . I was only drinking once or twice a week . Might not be in the same store for weeks.

SaturatedSeize

Day 2 here as well. I also slept about 10 hours yesterday after dragging myself through work and not being at all productive. We got this!