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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Hello,
I am the parent of a 23yr old son that is addicted to cocaine. I just recently confirmed his addiction but have suspected for quite a while. Besides the clear personality and physical changes in him he has recently been arrested twice for violence towards a girlfriend. This is completely out of character for him. He is living with me and my 11 yr old daughter due to a court order until his upcoming trial. My obvious number 1 concern is for my 11 yr old (she is unaware of any circumstances) I have discussed the strict guidelines for my son not to be bringing it into our home. I just found an empty bag clearly with cocaine residue he left on his bedroom floor.
Am I wasting my time thinking he will abide by the rules? He was a loving young man that cared very much for his little sister and family not that long ago. I am having a hard time with the person he has become.
I am very interested in hearing others stories and suggestions from those who have been there. I have contacted his probabtion officer and she suggested sticking to the plan of turning him in to the police if he does not follow the rules. I am terrified that in his mental state at the moment if I do this he will commit suicide. He has attempted it in the past. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.
I am the parent of a 23yr old son that is addicted to cocaine. I just recently confirmed his addiction but have suspected for quite a while. Besides the clear personality and physical changes in him he has recently been arrested twice for violence towards a girlfriend. This is completely out of character for him. He is living with me and my 11 yr old daughter due to a court order until his upcoming trial. My obvious number 1 concern is for my 11 yr old (she is unaware of any circumstances) I have discussed the strict guidelines for my son not to be bringing it into our home. I just found an empty bag clearly with cocaine residue he left on his bedroom floor.
Am I wasting my time thinking he will abide by the rules? He was a loving young man that cared very much for his little sister and family not that long ago. I am having a hard time with the person he has become.
I am very interested in hearing others stories and suggestions from those who have been there. I have contacted his probabtion officer and she suggested sticking to the plan of turning him in to the police if he does not follow the rules. I am terrified that in his mental state at the moment if I do this he will commit suicide. He has attempted it in the past. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,350
Hi and welcome ALanger
Noone here can really tell you if you're wasting your time or not - many of us do have a moment of clarity and recover, others don't...some get that clarity as young people, others don't.
I think you need to consider your 11 yos welfare in this.
If you have any doubts about her safety or her proximity to things you don't want her to be around then I think your way is pretty clear.
If your son is using and continues to use, I think his probation officers suggestion is a pretty good one.
If your son continued use of drugs results in him being arrested or otherwise having to leave your house,. his actions will have precipitated that.
I understand your fear of suicide - I don;t know your son or whether he';s said things that lead you to fear that might happen, but many addicts actually use that as a bargaining tool - the folks in our Friends and Family forums call that quacking -
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...king-mean.html (What does "quacking" mean?)
the reality is you have a 11yo child in your care, I think that should be the priority right now.
D
Noone here can really tell you if you're wasting your time or not - many of us do have a moment of clarity and recover, others don't...some get that clarity as young people, others don't.
I think you need to consider your 11 yos welfare in this.
If you have any doubts about her safety or her proximity to things you don't want her to be around then I think your way is pretty clear.
If your son is using and continues to use, I think his probation officers suggestion is a pretty good one.
If your son continued use of drugs results in him being arrested or otherwise having to leave your house,. his actions will have precipitated that.
I understand your fear of suicide - I don;t know your son or whether he';s said things that lead you to fear that might happen, but many addicts actually use that as a bargaining tool - the folks in our Friends and Family forums call that quacking -
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...king-mean.html (What does "quacking" mean?)
the reality is you have a 11yo child in your care, I think that should be the priority right now.
D
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