Hopeless
 

Drinking had caused me sooooo many problems. A DUI, relationship problems, family issues and the list goes on... I've given up drinking about a month and a half ago to save my relationship. I feel so lost, I think about wine all the time! I fear nothing will be fun anymore, it was something I looked forward to. I have such a love/hate relationship with wine! I know it's bad for me and I can't control it or myself with it but I don't know how to live without it. My fiancé is trying to be supportive but he has trust issues now because I become super flirty when I'm drunk. It changes me for the worse, no question there:( just so not excited for much anymore. Does this change? Will my obsession go away? Will I have fun again??

Hi and welcome Bebe :)

None of us would be here if we thought we lost out on the sobriety deal - it will get better :)

I obsessed about not drinking as much as I used to about drinking for a while, but that settled down :)

I also worried my life would be no fun, joyless, no friends and boring...and while a lot of my old way of life had to change, ultimately its been for the better.

I'm having the best time of my life now, sober :)

Things started getting better for me around the 2-3 month mark.

Support really helps - its important to know we're not alone in this, and that things will turn out ok :)

You will definitely have fun again. There's is a whole new sober life. But it takes time and hard work. You're in a tough period where you'll have doubts. I changed my thoughts from never drinking again to never having to drink again. Drinking brought me lots of pain and suffering. Two years out and I'm having the best time of my life.

Welcome, Bebe - it's great to have you here.

My experience was very much like Dee's. I thought all the excitement would go out of my life. Yet if I was honest, it was becoming a dangerous & reckless thing to do. My personality changed greatly every time it was in my system. I can't even believe some of the things I did - I guarantee the drunk me doesn't even resemble the sober me. I was taking chances with my life & hurting people I loved. I was a little resentful in the early days of being sober - but I learned to love the freedom of my new life. It feels wonderful to be free. Be patient with yourself as you heal - you will get there.

Welcome to SR, Bebe!:grouphug: I'm glad you decided to join us. I feel for you because I wine was my DoC, too, and I also felt like nothing would ever be fun again sober. Now, close to five years later I can tell you that fear was unfounded. It will take some time, I won't lie- the adjustment will take some work. But you can unlock a new life that will be so much richer. My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk and I expect you will reach that point if you stick with it.

I really don't like that term "hopeless", because almost nothing ever is really hopeless. It can feel that way at times and booze can really bring you low but there is always hope.:scoregood

Hello Bebe. I am very early days. Perhaps I can offer a different perspective. But we both know we are jealous of the people with years of sobriety under their belt, right?

Let's be honest, alcohol makes us tired. We might start the night the day/night with energy, but after a while we are fighting the wave that wants us to sleep or do nothing. I love watching movies, but making it to the end is often a chore. Here's a few quick examples I thought of;

Things you might thing are more fun drinking, but aren't:

Watching movies - good luck not falling asleep or zoning out
Bowling - I had to ask about the last game I played. Don't remember...
Barbecues - save room for more food!
Gambling - casinos LOVE drunk suckers

Awesome fun things without drinks:

Play with kids - yours, siblings' , friends' (without a drink in your hand!)
Bike riding - bike tracks in the city or off-road. Great fun.
Go out for dinner - Drinks are way overpriced. Buy more food!
Sports - join a club. I did martial arts and latin dancing. Want to again!

There are more fun things to do without drinks than there are fun things to do drunk. If you don't drink, you have more money to do them. You could drink at lunch, or treat a friend to lunch. Which do you really think would make you feel better, for the same price?

Here's an idea for you. Don't drink. Take yourself and a friend to a restaurant you've never been to before for lunch every weekend/fortnight ... whatever you can afford with the money you don't spend on alcohol.

Good luck. I'm so jealous of full-time sober people. Aren't you?

The problems the wind is giving you will only get bigger and worse. Eventually you might reach a tipping point where it isn't fun anymore and your miserable whether your sober or drunk. By quitting you give yourself a fighting chance. Don't think of sobriety as punishment, think of it as freedom. It may not seem like it now, but eventually sobriety sets you free. Its pretty amazing.

I mean to say The problems wine is giving you, not wind.

Thanks everyone
 

I really do need to have a better attitude toward having fun without alcohol. Wrap my head around the fact that it's ruining my life. I just wish it wasn't so socially connected in our society! I feel like an outcast now