MindfulMan

We did a similar exercise as a group in my IOP a few days ago.

List the positives for drinking, basically why you do it and why we keep going back to it. This is a painful exercise, but we did come up with a list, mostly that our drugs of choice we're a very effective basically instant escape from many forms of anxiety, depression, shame, boredom, etc, but with horrible long term consequences. Next list the positive effects of sobriety, which was a much longer list.

2 days sober is way too soon to do this exercise, but it should be very revealing and healing at 30 days and repeated every 30 days thereafter. Something to look forward to.

Gottalife

I appreciate your comment and on the face of it your idea seems a good one. Except that my insane state of mind could easily trivialize those reasons ( what was I thinking when I wrote that list, it wasn't that bad)
and anyway, this time will be different. That is if I remember to look at the list. My experience tells me that that is unlikely.

An example came to mind. It was the beginning of my last bender. I was at my parents house. My father came home delighted that I had been sober three weeks. He was thrilled with my progress.

Then he noticed the glass in my hand, and his face fell. He never said anything, but the most powerful reasons to not drink were written all over his face. I will never forget how he looked. I took the drink, I was powerless not to, and he was powerless to prevent it. The insanity of the fatal first drink was back.

I told him I was going out for a couple of beers and would be back around six. I got home at six, just four days later. That Sunday I went back to AA. I had the first two parts of the abcs.
a) that I was powerless over alcohol and could not manage my own life.
b) that probably no human power could relieve my alcoholism.

Outonthetiles

I wasted three years I'll never get back by being drunk, and I don't want to waste any more precious time.