portman22

Hi - I've been sober for over 5 months. I have a pretty expansive recovery plan including an outpatient treatment, relapse prevention classes, individual counselors, regular aa meetings, a sponsor, working the steps, reading the literature. I am married with 2 kids and have a pretty good support network. I probably don't pray or read the literature enough, but I feel like I work a pretty good program. However, I really just can't stop thinking about drinking. It's so frustrating. I don't have the physical urge to drink anymore, but I think I just get so frustrated that I can't just have a few drinks like other people when I'm out at dinner or watching a game on tv at night. I know this compulsion may never go away, but I was wondering if anybody had any thoughts based on their experience when the compulsion and obsession with drinking gets easier. I know it's different for everybody but would like to hear thoughts. I'm always afraid to ask this question during meetings for some reason.
thanks.

Willdoit

Funny I have the same annoyance , can't have a couple and stop.... what's quite odd is I have been like this all my life since 16 and never really realised until a few months ago.

LoveForMe

I feel the same exact way... I'm on day 99. I don't really feel like drinking but I always want to. It's weird and hard to explain. I'm always thinking about when I will be alone next and be able to go buy some. Ugh. Well good job on the 5 months! I hope it gets easier...

CristinaN

I promise it will get easier. My obsession to drink stopped at 7 months which was 2 weeks ago. I got to the end of the day and realized the compulsion was gone. I still have the thoughts occasionally but it's not the tidal wave of a craving anymore and it varies for everyone. As long as you don't pick up a drink it will get better. It just takes time. 💕

teaorcoffee

Hang in there, it will get better, but only if you don't give in.

doggonecarl

Haven't drank in seven years. If I think about drinking at all, it's a passing thought, or a memory. Not a longing, not a resentment because I can't drink. I don't miss it. I can't even remember when the "compulsion" went away. During the first year, I'm sure. It happened when I accepted never drinking again, stopped viewing sobriety as a punishment where I was being deprived of drinking. But it had to be more than accepting sobriety. I had to embrace it...learn to live and love a sober life.

tomsteve

welcome portman. i still dont know how to mulitquote, but these 3 sentences somewhat jumped out at me.

i didnt have a full 24 hrs without the thought of a drink occuring until about 6 months. in those 6 months i had many days i thhough id go bonkers. HOWEVER, in those 6 months, i prayed like crazy, read the big book, went to meetings, worked the program...repeat.
i put full faith in the program and the people that went before me that every promise in the big book- the promises associated with every step- would materialize IF i worked for them.
as promised, this occured- the 10th step promises:

"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."
__________________________________________________ __________________________
the compulsion to drink had been removed.

so, my experience is that the compulsion and obsession got easier as i worked the steps-as i did the ACTION of recovery.

going to meetings and not drinking dont treat alcoholism.
what step are ya on?

Anna

It sounds like you have a good recovery plan in place. What really helped me was getting involved in different activities, hobbies, etc. I was lucky enough to start some volunteer work which was very fulfilling to me. Those kinds of things really helped me to focus on other, positive things.

JamesfrmEngland

Alcohol is a lovely drug, it makes you feel great why wouldn't you want to drink it? The problem is it comes with horrible consequences which I'm sure you've experienced? What's the point of risking feeling high for a bit for all the misery it will cause later on?

Dee74

Hi and welcome Portman

I obsessed about drinking, then I obsessed about not drinking...but finally things settled down,

My old life was all about the booze so I changed my life.

It helped me not to have alcohol being shoved in my face everyday or being around the kind of drinker I used to be.

I needed clear distance from who I used to be in order to become who I wanted to be....and with that distance, I accepted that my relationship with alcohol was toxic - always was and always would be.

Fair or not, I'm better off not drinking, and the life I have now - the life I built - is proof of that

D

HTown

At some point, I realized alcohol was not a reward, or a treat, or a good thing. I no longer see that I am missing out. Far from it. I feel like I have seen past the lie that alcohol truly is. If you give it time, and focus on the positive things you are receiving in sobriety, the focus will leave alcohol and go to better things. Good luck.

hellrzr

For me it truly went away after Steps 4 and 5. Almost like a light switch got turned off. I could finally sleep at night and any thought of drinking is also a very brief, passing thought.

Gottalife

I had much the same experience. One of the fifth step promises " the feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly"

I was at that stage just a few weeks in and that is what happened. Before I got sober, I often firmly made up my mind not to drink, then later the same day found myself drinking. I just forgot I wasn't supposed to. Then I made up my mind to take the steps and later the same day, every day since, I ended up not drinking. I don't recall any great battles with the obsession. It either had total control or no control of me.

Bills problem was solved quickly, but Dr Bob had quite powerful,urges to drink for the first two years. However, he had also found the power to resist, having taken the steps as they then were.

August252015

What tomsteve and Gotta said. My problem has indeed been removed, as the BB promises, by following what it lays out.

Adding some more study and consistently daily reading of the very same pages (84-88 and 417-418) are key reminders of how I want to keep living.

Have you talked to your sponsor about this, completely openly? Shared at a meeting? Or more than one- plenty of times I have heard people struggle with one issue for a time. And I find that "telling on myself" about whatever it is that is disturbing me is some good advice I got early on and try to take seriously and make sure to do, to my sponsor and others.

JustMatt

I'm exactly the same. Hate being drunk and the long spiral downwards that follows when I start because it's the stopping part I'm no good at. Truth be told I do like the taste. I love a beer!! Only problem is I can't just have 2 like normal people. I'm on day 4 and I can hear the little devil on my shoulder whispering (especially when I remind him how good beer tastes)

Stay strong and I will too