Maria90

Hi

I´m abusing sleeping pills during the day to avoid dealing with very difficult emotions, trauma and cronic pain. The pills don´t make me sleep, I just get high. And I like the high. But I understand that I can´t keep going on like this, and I don´t know who to turn to for help. I could talk to my psychiatrist, but he is the one subscribing me the pills and they are my only ******* break in a very difficult life. I need to become motivated to quit. I´m not addicted, just abusing, so I guess NA is not the place for me. That´s why I created a profile here, to get support from others in similar situations. I´ve been abusing alcohol and street drugs before, but stopped because everybody found out. Pills are much more "invisible" to abuse, I´ve found out.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Maria90. You'll find a lot of support here on SR, glad you decided to join us. We have a substance abuse forum as well if you'd like to check that out, but you are always welcome here in newcomers too.

I would definitely talk to your psychiatrist about this - even though he is prescribing the pills he would certainly have advice/insight to share that would be helpful if he knew you were abusing them.

Regarding the whole abuse vs. addiction debate, it really doesn't matter so much how you label the problem. NA and other programs like it dont' differentiate between it - they are simply there to help people who have a desire to quit, no matter what their motivation is.

Maria90

Thank you for your answer. I actually contacted NA. Today I realized I have to do something about this before it gets even worse.

tomsteve

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

a psychiatrist can only help when the patient lets em know whats going on- both with medication abuse and why- the internal stuff ya mention.

good on ya for callin NA. you'll find some good,clean support there.


through the years i traded addictions,too, with alcohol being my main DOC. always trying to stop the mental mayhem.
had some huge changes occur when i stopped using alcohol and drugs to stop the mental mayhem and confronted it head on.

Nowsthetime

Hello and welcome:

From your post it seems like you do want to quit but your AV is chattering (Addictive Voice). Start educating yourself and participating here and your perspective will most certainly change, I know it did for me. At first I saw recovery ass missing out but when I learn more about it I realized that it is actually all about freedom in this change in perspective has made my journey much more pleasant in a bit easier.

Hope to see you around!

Dee74

Hi Maria - I'm glad you realise things are only going to get worse.

I realise that it's scary to think about letting go your 'only ******* break in a very difficult life' but, speaking as someone else with historical trauma and chronic pain, getting high never solved any of those problems - at best it set them to one side very temporarily...at worse it did nothing for them...and thats where I ended up. Nothing worked.

It's a lie that the pills, or the beer in my case, are our only hope.

I have balance in my life now. I've dealt with a lot of old wounds and my pains under control. More than that I'm happy.

I'm sure you can be happy too - I'm really glad you found us - tons of support here.

D

dreamnofredsuns

Hi Maria. Try a new way of dealing with all your stress by tackling it head on instead of continuing to run at the expense of your mind, health and body. You'll feel accomplished and hopeful for a new life.
Please be safe and careful though stopping any kind of meds suddenly!

Maria90

Dee 74: Thank you for your insightful answer. I´m so glad you´ve recovered and are at a better place now.

I woke up with cravings and took a pill, feeling guilty. But a friend, a recovered alcoholic, offered to follow me to a NA meeting, and I´ll give it a try.

I wish you a good day

Dee74

you too Maria

D

MLD51

Welcome, Maria. I agree 100% with what others have said about running away from life and feeling like the pills are the only break you get. At some point, and you already know this - you'll have to stop running and face whatever it is that makes you so uncomfortable that being high seems like the only answer. I'm really glad you are choosing to try NA - you'll find tons of support there and most likely, you will hear stories that are just like yours. You will also hear stories about what could happen if you don't face this and keep using. Might be the wake-up call you need.

And YES - be honest with the psychiatrist. It's the only way he/she can truly help you. I lied to my therapist for a long time about how much I was drinking, and made zero progress until I confessed, and then quit.

Anna

Maria, I'm glad you posted. I also hit a low point with physical and emotional pain and I turned to alcohol. In the early days, it seemed to help, but before long, I realized that was just the hook. I ended up with all the same problems, plus I was an alcoholic. I hope that you talk to your dr about what you're doing and allow him to help. And, please continue to read and post.