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Can't Stop Drinking for the Life of Me :(

Old 09-10-2017, 08:33 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Man,

I am closer to your situation than someone w years and years of pure sobriety so I can offer this pov...

ime...

3 days is not enough to get over the physical addiction.

Obviously, the state or whatever believe you will not die after 3 days in detox...that is a good thing.

Since you want to quit...that is half the battle already won.

If you can't stop on your own...suffering at home, hydration, eating when you crave etc. you need rehab or some loving local support..e.g. AA folks to help and direct you. This might include direct intervention...e.g. taking your car keys.

I have heard that many companies offer rehab support. Obviously, you would have to come clean with your boss.

Everyone's constitution is different...but curious...how long and hard have you been drinking?

Thanks.
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Old 09-10-2017, 08:45 AM
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Originally Posted by D122y View Post
Man,

I am closer to your situation than someone w years and years of pure sobriety so I can offer this pov...

ime...

3 days is not enough to get over the physical addiction.

Obviously, the state or whatever believe you will not die after 3 days in detox...that is a good thing.

Since you want to quit...that is half the battle already won.

If you can't stop on your own...suffering at home, hydration, eating when you crave etc. you need rehab or some loving local support..e.g. AA folks to help and direct you. This might include direct intervention...e.g. taking your car keys.

I have heard that many companies offer rehab support. Obviously, you would have to come clean with your boss.

Everyone's constitution is different...but curious...how long and hard have you been drinking?

Thanks.
I've been drinking for 3 years. first year and a half was light drinking a bottle of wine a week, then 2 bottles of wine, then I went to brandy and vodka.

I have been drinking heavily for over a year. Nearly ruinining my relationship with my fiance (get too drunk and violent), I'm 24 in 8 days. But I drink about a pint of vodka a day on top of a few airplane bottles. I bought a 750mL of vodka yesterday and it's already gone the next day.
Yes, my pops had taken my keys before and even disabled my vehicle temporarily.

I have talked to my boss and support manager. Support manager had to drive me home (leaving my vehicle at work) because I got angry and drank more on break and I went into the office and told them what I did. They gave me some numbers. I tried to work on it and just gave up and this was a while ago. So I don't know if I can talk to them about it again, he gave me one last chance because he didn't want to lose me because I actually do very good work.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Tboy1976 View Post
I think key thing is just accepting that anytime you decide to drink it is likely going to end up the same way ..... you waking up somewhere having no idea how you got there. That's how it was for me to ..... total binge drinker and didn't stop until I passed out in a blackout. Putting myself in danger and risky situations. I'm day 2 of no booze and hoping to kick it for good this time as it's affecting my home life with wife and kids as well as work.
I agree with you on that. If I start drinking with the intention of only having a little bit, it almost always ends up becoming more than a little bit.
I think I need to get back into my old hobbies (before I started drinking). I never thought I would become like this. I'm a computer savy person. I've always worked on computers and played computer games. I just happened to fall into my Dad's footsteps (he was a violent alcoholic when I was younger). He has been doing much better now he doesn't even drink that much.

I never drink socially just because I think that I would get angry towards someone. I always drink alone and I hide it from my loved ones.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:33 AM
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Having read more of you responses my view is you would be safer to go to rehab or be supervised at least for detox. A doctor can help you work out whats best. I know this is very hard but can you go to your parents and let them support you to get some treatment. If all comes to all the emergency department is there too. I know it is all money but you can sort that out once you are sober for a while.
Please do not lose hope....you can recover from this.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by DarklingSong View Post
Having read more of you responses my view is you would be safer to go to rehab or be supervised at least for detox. A doctor can help you work out whats best. I know this is very hard but can you go to your parents and let them support you to get some treatment. If all comes to all the emergency department is there too. I know it is all money but you can sort that out once you are sober for a while.
Please do not lose hope....you can recover from this.
I understand, It's mostly the money that makes me lose hope. I am very paranoid about losing money and being broke. I just had to get work done on my vehicle, I work part time for not so good pay. well I make 11.75 an hour but I work part time. It gets me by.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:38 AM
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Having read more of you responses my view is you would be safer to go to rehab or be supervised at least for detox. A doctor can help you work out whats best. I know this is very hard but can you go to your parents and let them support you to get some treatment. If all comes to all the emergency department is there too. I know it is all money but you can sort that out once you are sober for a while.
Please do not lose hope....you can recover from this.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Mancini1337 View Post
I've been drinking for 3 years. first year and a half was light drinking a bottle of wine a week, then 2 bottles of wine, then I went to brandy and vodka.

I have been drinking heavily for over a year. Nearly ruinining my relationship with my fiance (get too drunk and violent), I'm 24 in 8 days. But I drink about a pint of vodka a day on top of a few airplane bottles. I bought a 750mL of vodka yesterday and it's already gone the next day.
Yes, my pops had taken my keys before and even disabled my vehicle temporarily.

I have talked to my boss and support manager. Support manager had to drive me home (leaving my vehicle at work) because I got angry and drank more on break and I went into the office and told them what I did. They gave me some numbers. I tried to work on it and just gave up and this was a while ago. So I don't know if I can talk to them about it again, he gave me one last chance because he didn't want to lose me because I actually do very good work.
Man,

That is a lot of booze to detox from without medical supervision. Especially, if you are on some meds as well. Detox can kill you. Dr. visit/stay is the recommended path.

ime...

I basically tapered down over a few weeks when I quit. I was basically drinking a bottle of booze every 2 weeks to a month.

So you are drinking more than I was in the end...

and.... I suffered some serious mental trauma during my "at home detox." Nobody but SR and AA folks had any idea I was suffering. For the most part, it was all in my mind. I didn't even find SR until I was clean nearly 3 months. The anxiety was driving me insane.

I treat myself like a non drinker vs an alky these days. I am not in any program other than SR. I take and give information here routinely. We drunks obsess. Why not share.

I go to AA meetings periodically because I do have a desire to stop drinking. I have a 1 year chip, but can't, in good faith, take a 2 year chip for a long while.

I suffered hellishly for a long long long time to get to this state of grace.

This booze thing is a killer.

Hope this helps you in some way.

Thanks.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Mancini1337 View Post
Yes this is exactly what I've been doing. I drink at work for a boost and if I feel sick, I drink. I have also never got a DUI and I would drive under the influence all the time but was still able to maintain control when driving. I'm mostly afraid that I will go driving if I blacked out and I've done that before once (dad took my keys and took my battery out of my vehicle) and I had no memory of it.

Question, I've never heard of Naltrixone. Does it work great for you? I'll have to look into it. I've went to only one AA meeting before I started drinking again :/
Naltrixone works for me now as I truly want to not drink. It helps with cravings. I was on it previously but I drank anyways because I wanted the buzz. Naltrixone stops the buzz... So I kept drinking to try to get it and ended up in hospital. Its a good tool to assist in sobriety but you have to still do the work to recover.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:42 AM
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Sorry accidentally posted twice.
Easier said than done I know but try to forget about the money for now. Alcohol is by far the bigger worry.
Take care of yourself.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:42 AM
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How long does it usually take to get over withdrawal? I am not sure because I haven't been sober long enough to know. The last time I tried to quit, I felt very sick and sweating. I had a lot of anxiety. I couldn't take the negative effects much more and I just bought some more.

Also, I appreciate all the feedback from everyone. I will try to stick with the forums and keep my self busy with activities and maybe get back into making video game maps. I've always said that I would change, but I've failed the other times. Tonight is my Friday (I have work tonight) and the next three nights off, so I will try to think of productive and enjoyable things to do.
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Gemini1967 View Post
Naltrixone works for me now as I truly want to not drink. It helps with cravings. I was on it previously but I drank anyways because I wanted the buzz. Naltrixone stops the buzz... So I kept drinking to try to get it and ended up in hospital. Its a good tool to assist in sobriety but you have to still do the work to recover.
Thank you for your feedback. I will see about getting a prescription and I will research it before I try.
I agree with having to put the work in to stop. Right now it's hard and I don't know if it will keep me from drinking completely . I have been drinking today (but not drunk just enough to make me feel normal) and I have work tonight. I'll try to take a nap in a couple hours (just not tired yet since I slept all night).
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Old 09-10-2017, 09:56 AM
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Generally, the physical part of withdrawals is over in about 5 or 6 days. Usually by Day 7 you would begin to feel better.

You said you talked to people at work about your drinking and they gave you information to help. I would caution you to think seriously before you talk about this at work. Understandably, if you go into rehab, you will need time off work and you will have to tell your employer. But, if you do an Outpatient program you could likely go outside of work hours. The main thing is to stop drinking of course, but if you want/need to keep your job, be careful what you say.
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Old 09-10-2017, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Generally, the physical part of withdrawals is over in about 5 or 6 days. Usually by Day 7 you would begin to feel better.

You said you talked to people at work about your drinking and they gave you information to help. I would caution you to think seriously before you talk about this at work. Understandably, if you go into rehab, you will need time off work and you will have to tell your employer. But, if you do an Outpatient program you could likely go outside of work hours. The main thing is to stop drinking of course, but if you want/need to keep your job, be careful what you say.
I only told my night shift manager and his support (the higher ups don't know) because they could lose their job for not informing them about it. If anyone else knew I would be canned. I told them that I was drinking because I was obviously not in a condition to work efficiently and he could already smell the booze on me so I just told them that I was drinking and I needed to go home. They didn't write me up or anything thankfully they just told me to not let it happen again and he had his support drive me home and the next day I got violent drunk and arrested. I felt so bad.

I have papers for outpatient but I need to talk to my insurance company and see what will be covered and figure out the costs and all that stuff. I have a thick folder with info and all types of AA meeting hours and whatnot. But Im going to try to go to the one AA meeting I went to before.
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Old 09-10-2017, 10:29 AM
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Hi Mancini,

I'm 26 days sober now. I went inpatient and then to a rehab early this summer. When I got out, the first thing I wanted was a drink. But that craving left me within an hour or so and I was sober for around a month before I started up again. My situation was that I was living in Airbnbs and felt really adrift and also felt like I could not go home. No excuse - that's just how it went.

Anyhow, this go-round I realized that I have all of the "tools" I need to stay sober, I just wasn't using them. Also I realized that the toolbox wasn't doing my any good if it stayed in the shed until I experienced a craving; that was too late! I need to stay busy and focused on my recovery/discovery every day all day.

Naltrexone works well for a lot of people and if it works for you, you might even be able to get an injection instead of having to take the pills every day. Acamprosate works best for me and I am pleased as can be. I still have thoughts about drinking, but because I take the medication and have the support of my friends and family plus AA plus Intensive Outpatient treatment, I don't obsess at all about drinking.

I understand being resistant to inpatient rehab on a number of levels. In my humble opinion, I think you might be better served this go-round with outpatient treatment and actually doing the work to use what you learned in inpatient. My IOP does detox during the day on site (I think usually it's just one day then they send people home with medication). If your fiance or someone is available to be with you and watch for signs of serious withdrawal, that might work.

You're getting a lot of opinions and good input here. I encourage you to ask people who care (ideally including people familiar with substance abuse) what they think you should do at this juncture. I know when I was drinking and for weeks beyond, I could not decide what was right for me.

Getting and staying sober is not easy, but I swear it gets better in a hurry if you put your mind to it!

O
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Old 09-10-2017, 10:47 AM
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Hi Mancini,

I'm glad you came here and posted, and I'm sorry you are struggling right now. You are so young, and smart to stop drinking now. I would definitely look into rehab either inpatient or outpatient to help you. The detox is good for the initial few days, but you need a plan to help you stay sober after that. There are many paths to recovery, and you will need to find what is going to work best for you.

Until then, hang out here and read and post as much as you need. If you are having physical withdrawals definitely head to the ER so they can help you, and if you do that ask to see a hospital social worker, they may be able to help you navigate your insurance, and the possibilities for treatment.

You can do this.
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Old 09-10-2017, 11:32 AM
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Hi Mancini , i,m sorry things are so tough for you at this time . You have a lot of very good avice above but its mostly all down to you . I know a fellow age 25 who was probably doing about the same as you , everything around him was a mess with lost job ,police trouble , money troubles . He is now 9 months sober via AA and anabuse tablets . I know another fellow who was the wrost drunk in our village ,sitting on benches with white cider , this guy is about 8 years sober via AA . It can be done but you need to want it more than anything in the world . As far as withdrawals Anna's estimate is good . My worst binge was 5 days on about 3/4 a bottle of vodka and 5-6 beers each day . I went to my GP and was given some benzodiazepine and vitamin B . It wasnt easy but I got there and after about 6 -7 days was eating and feeling much better . I hope you can find a way to do this like some of the suggestions in this thread . You really can do this . Keep us up to date ,we are all here for you .
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Old 09-10-2017, 11:53 AM
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I wanted to add , that I am only at 5 weeks sober and had 2 years once and then slipped then had various times of 3 months 5 months but now I am beat . Alcohol is no longer an option in my life , Im age 60 . Dont let this drag on becuase its garunteed to get worse , it always does .

thanks and take care .
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Old 09-10-2017, 12:24 PM
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I appreciate all of the response and I will try to go to more AA meetings and figure out some treatments. I have work tonight (very tired) so I need to go to sleep pretty soon. Thank you everyone
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:44 AM
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I made it through work, but messed up right after I got out and I drank and just got super angry with my lady and went home and slept (having all sorts of weird and messed up dreams) I've been confusing dreams with real life lately, like some Matrix movie stuff.

I'm going to try to stay busy today and go see a movie with my lady and go out to eat. That should keep my mind off of the booze (and I'll have to take whatever booze I have in my truck out so I don't drink while we are out). I was having the shakes really bad earlier and just limitted myself to one shot to stop them and I'll just wait and keep everything tapered. If it doesn't work I'll look into help.
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:48 AM
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You mentioned cost, I think the Salvation Army helps with free treatment. Maybe give them a call? Barring that, you could check into an ER.
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