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I need some guidence please!

Old 09-09-2017, 02:37 PM
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I need some guidence please!

I gave up alcohol 1 1/2 years ago now when I found I was pregnant and have never looked back.
My sons fathers drinks everyday and does not care that the 'everyday all night drinking' effects me.
I'm not the recovery alcoholic that preaches to every drinker about how they should stop. But in our family relationship it has got to a point where alcohol is number one.
I can't sleep in our bed because he sweats alcohol all night the smell is sickening. When he kisses me I might aswell take a sip of beer.
I've been threw the denial and taking no responsibility for my actions I understand when he defends his addiction. But for him to not purely see his baby son is the most beautiful and important thing in this world absolutely sickens me.
I ask him to cut his drinking to 3 nights a week I don't even know if that is the right thing to do? Should I put my foot down and say it's alcohol or your family? Has anyone else been in my position has given up alcohol but still/was in a relationship with a on going alcoholic? Please some insight or experience would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou
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Old 09-09-2017, 04:26 PM
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Hi, TMia.
Welcome.
You are in kind of a tough place, as many posters to this site can confirm.
But first, congratulations onyour sobriety.
Very smart move.
Imo, ultimatums--family or alcohol--don't work, unless you are 100 percent ready to follow through and either leave or make him leave.
You can't control another's behavior; you can only control your response.
Do you go to Al-Anon? it is a great source of support and fellowship.
Good luck and good thoughts.
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Old 09-09-2017, 04:43 PM
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Hi Tmia - welcome

I'm sorry for what brings you here but you'll find a lot of support.

The only bit of advice I have is if you're going to make an ultimatum, be prepared to follow that through should things not change.

Your needs and your sons are important.
Have you considered something like Al Anon for more support?

D
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Old 09-09-2017, 04:44 PM
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TMia, good job on your recovery and being a strong and sober Mom. I'm sorry for your situation with your child's Dad. Be careful with ultimatums. Are you ready to ask him to leave? I hope that, whatever your decision, that you and your child find peace.
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Old 09-11-2017, 08:41 PM
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hi TMia

how are you today ?

we care !

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