Jules714

Thanks again all.
I do not mind if you guys chat here.
I am very thankful my baby is safe too. I am like a caged lioness a lot of the time, pacing. I just want my baby!! It's why I could not get sober. Constantly feeling "she's gone! He's moving her! I miss her so much I ache!" I still feel this way, I just can't drink over it.
As for my ex, I know exactly who he is now. He's not going to change. He thinks he's only hurting me (Am I being redundant? I feel like I am) by taking her from me. Thing is he's hurting her by taking her mother from her. She's realizing that. He's just a vile beast. Not my problem anymore.
Drinking won't help this. It would make it worse. Always did. I comprehend that now. Going through this, sober makes me feel strong.
I will live to see my grandchildren someday if I take care of myself. I will die if I drink.
I want to live. Huge and profound change from 81 days ago.
Thanks again all!
xx
Jules

Wholesome

That's really hard Jules, my heart goes out to you. But you are right, drinking will only make everything worse and make it harder for you. I was with an abusive man too and I spent years punishing myself over what happened between us and using alcohol as a way to cope. All I did was hurt myself and my children. Stay strong. I hope you find a way to deal with your ex and get back in contact with your daughter. Your chances of being able to do this have increased 10 fold now that you are sober.

Jules714

Thank you. It is tough. If I can do this sober, I'm pretty sure I can do anything.
I'm in contact with my daughter daily. All day. Thank goodness!!
My ex was not physically abusive (although I've been there!) but rather mentally/emotionally.
At least he's out of my life as much as possible.
Thanks.
Jules