Day 12
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Leduc, Ab
Posts: 758
Day 12
New here, my 2nd post
12 days, the longest I've been sober for years. Last couple days have been really emotional. Lots of tear, anxiety, fear, feeling lost; feel like I'm loosing my marbles haft the time and the tears keep flowing all the time. I feel like I wasted years of my life and everything is all upside down and I'm not where I should be. I know this is just the squirrel cage going and my brain is making half this stuff up. I guess when you don't have alcohol anymore to push all those emotions down, then need to go somewhere and come back up. Going to meetings everyday, talking to my sponsor and realizing that I can get through this. I dont ever want to go back to where I was or am right now. My last drinking binge really brought me to my knees mentally, thoughts of putting in a bullet to end it. I knew I had to do something. Having been in the program years ago with good long term sobriety, I called my old sponsor. That was the best decision I've made in years. He's helping me through this with love and open arms, his support amazes me and I'm great full.
Right now, I don't have the desire to drink, actually since I stopped even the thought of drinking makes me panic. I'm not obsessed with it like I was when I was trying to stop on my own for the last 6 months. But I feel so low, ashamed, full of fear, anxiety. I have bouts of massive panic and tearing up like a baby, I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I'm told this is normal but I sure don't feel normal.
I found this site and thought I'd sign up for extra support.
Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.
Here's to another sober day
12 days, the longest I've been sober for years. Last couple days have been really emotional. Lots of tear, anxiety, fear, feeling lost; feel like I'm loosing my marbles haft the time and the tears keep flowing all the time. I feel like I wasted years of my life and everything is all upside down and I'm not where I should be. I know this is just the squirrel cage going and my brain is making half this stuff up. I guess when you don't have alcohol anymore to push all those emotions down, then need to go somewhere and come back up. Going to meetings everyday, talking to my sponsor and realizing that I can get through this. I dont ever want to go back to where I was or am right now. My last drinking binge really brought me to my knees mentally, thoughts of putting in a bullet to end it. I knew I had to do something. Having been in the program years ago with good long term sobriety, I called my old sponsor. That was the best decision I've made in years. He's helping me through this with love and open arms, his support amazes me and I'm great full.
Right now, I don't have the desire to drink, actually since I stopped even the thought of drinking makes me panic. I'm not obsessed with it like I was when I was trying to stop on my own for the last 6 months. But I feel so low, ashamed, full of fear, anxiety. I have bouts of massive panic and tearing up like a baby, I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I'm told this is normal but I sure don't feel normal.
I found this site and thought I'd sign up for extra support.
Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.
Here's to another sober day
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hats, remind yourself that you're doing great!
Good for you for reconnecting with your old sponsor and getting his support.
The emotions are definitely an issue in early recovery. Try to remember that they are just feelings and they don't have control of you. See if you can find that quiet place within yourself where you feel calm and centred. The shame can lead you back to drinking again, so try to focus on the positives in your life right now. A Gratitude Journal can be helpful.
Good for you for reconnecting with your old sponsor and getting his support.
The emotions are definitely an issue in early recovery. Try to remember that they are just feelings and they don't have control of you. See if you can find that quiet place within yourself where you feel calm and centred. The shame can lead you back to drinking again, so try to focus on the positives in your life right now. A Gratitude Journal can be helpful.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 40
Congrats on 12 Hats! It's funny, I actually am surprised that I haven't been more emotional. I think right now for me I've been so focused on all the things that I need to do in these first few weeks perhaps like I'm in a sort of boot camp for learning to be sober. I'm sure the emotions will come at some point sooner or later for me. I totally get it though...it is a roller coaster ride to all of the sudden remove that which was comfort, support, ease, release and to have that flood of all that had been locked away, all of the sudden released. Stay strong!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
12 days is great Hats, you are almost at two weeks! Have you joined the September of 2017 class? It is a great place to get the support of others who have committed or recommitted to sobriety.
Also,check in with us on the 24 hour thread, it is a great place to commit to the next 24 hours, and you will find an incredible group of people.
Glad you have joined us!
Also,check in with us on the 24 hour thread, it is a great place to commit to the next 24 hours, and you will find an incredible group of people.
Glad you have joined us!
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