kona5k

My confidence is very low right now. How do you build confidence, especially in early sobriety? My hope is that my confidence will strengthen over time. I just feel disgusted with myself and I don't know how to get out of this rut.

MythOfSisyphus

For me fear kind of did it at first. But success reinforces more success and it gets easier with time, or at least it did for me.

Anna

My self-esteem was beyond rock bottom when I stopped drinking. It was a gradual process of rebuilding myself and focusing on what was good about me. I hope you can let go of the shame you are feeling because it will likely lead you back to drinking. Focus on the good things. A Gratitude Journal might be helpful.

Maudcat

Hi, kona.
Welcome.
For me, every day I could carve a notch on the sobriety pole was a good one.
After a period of time, can't remember exactly when, maybe three months in, I had a superempowering moment: the drink wasn't controlling me anymore.
That was huge for me. .

Dee74

Hi Kona.

I think not drinking is the best confidence builder of them all.

It may be a little rough initially but I learned so much in my first few months sober simply because I had to face everything.

Sometimes it wasn't very graceful but I got through

I had no idea how competent and capable I was.

joandmelandhan

Try and be kind to yoursekf kona. You are doing an amazing thing here and are slowly healing each day. Yes you're right time is your friend in this one. Little by little you will achieve mini victories and your confidence and self esteem will begin to grow. Please try and be patient with yourself

kona5k

Thanks everyone.

bluedog97

Early sobriety is tough, going through it again myself. We are so used to having the security blanket to fall back on, as detrimental as it is. The insidious thing about booze is, it works for a short period of time. It takes away worries, fears, stress, insecurities, inhibitions, guilt, shame, anger, you name it. But then I sober up and all those things come back full force along with a whole host of other problems.

Sorry for the rant. Every day at some point I battle that voice in my head (AV) telling me I could take all my troubles away if I just make a store run and buy a bottle. I have to come here and remind myself, I just can't trust myself to make the best decision alone.

Gottalife

There are a couple of acronyms on fear that you might think about.

Face Everthing And Recover, or
Flip Evertything And Run.

What will your choice be?

August252015

Love what Dee said, especially.

For me- confidence definitely took time and, I think, setting routines and gradually adding to what I could do - ie, a list that started with "accomplishments" (and recognizing they were!) of 1 make the bed 2 eat twice 3 take a shower. That basic. My life gradually expanded to the full one it is now.

Are you working a program?

Erratic

Thanks august, that has reminded of the basic steps i need to achieve before taking on more steps. We all may of been embarrassed about how our own basic living fell to none existent as i know mine did. Showering, brushing teeth, putting on clean clothes, it is mind boggling how we can neglect ourselves through such an addiction or lack of confidence we have for our selves.

so thanks again for bringing suggesting this x

thomas11

Hi Kona, most of us were exactly where you are now in early sobriety. It is tough. Our confidence is shattered, self esteem quite low and all kinds of other bad stuff. The only thing in my opinion that helps is staying sober. Staying sober is like a proof positive technique in helping your self esteem.

2muchpain

Yeah, it's amazing how much those little things makes a difference. I can look around my apartment and see that it's actually clean (kinda). Little things like taking a shower every day, actually making a dinner, having a conversation with someone at a store, taking the garbage out instead of it piling up, waking up and not shaking, etc., becomes things you really appreciate. John

rascalwhiteoak

Confidence will come. I can say that I'm in a better place now than I have been in years, confidence included. If you're in early sobriety, it's time to stop feeling disgusted with yourself -- you have only improvement and growth to look forward to!