I didn't vote because of the variables. The relationship was in existence before sobriety and seems quite serious, therefore it could be a mistake to just ditch it. take your time over that decision, and pray about the right course for you.

On the positive side, living seperately for the time being would seem to be a very good move.

When two people are in early recovery the one thing you can guarantee is that they will progress at different rates. This will make for ever increasing tension as the gap widens, made much worse by being under the same roof. One will think the other is going too fast, the other too slow. As someone else said, concentrating on our own side of the street is the most important thing, and you have given yourselves the best chance of that happening.

Good luck.

I voted yes because though I think it could be twice as bad it could also be twice as good. What really transformed me from a heavy binge drinker to someone who drank continuously was my relationship through my 30's with a woman who "liked a drink" as well. Alcohol had previously been a means to an end - supposedly going out meeting people or some such fiction. But then it became staying at home and drinking all the time, which was normalised by being with someone who backed me up. We supported each other in our downward spiral.
I imagine that this dynamic could work the other way though. If two people were close and were really definite about stopping then it would be a lot easier than for one. However I think it would be difficult for two people to be in such synchronicity.
It could be very difficult to withstand the pressure if the other weakens. Also, the relationship probably helped cause the problem. It certainly did with me.
You'd have to re-examine that as well. I think sobriety will bring a lot of things to the surface.

Best wishes.

I don't have personal experience but I'll share what I've heard from others who have and my thoughts:

-Stay in your own lane. Focus on your recovery/sobriety and not the other person's.
-Don't compare your recovery/sobriety to the other person's
-Be supportive of the other person but don't make it into codependency.
-Don't expect the other person to get you well.

The important things to do are what you'll do instead of drinking.

I vote maybe as well. So many variables.

When I got sober last time (45 days), I leaned on a guy I was newly dating that had just gotten sober. He made a commitment to be sober for a year and then try moderation (he is now drinking again and displaying the same old patterns). He did stick to a year and I obviously didn't. My issue was all the excitement and uncertainty of a new relationship. I drank to deal with all of the out of control emotions. Then our relationship got really dysfunctional and I drank even more to deal with all the feelings.

In summary, I definitely don't recommend getting sober with someone you just started dating. Getting sober with a long-term partner could be great if the relationship is really solid, both are deeply committed to sobriety, and each has outside support. Sounds like your case could be more complicated?

I think the advice to NOT start a relationship for the first year- or 2 is valid in early recovery. BUT I do not think this is so crystal clear. You are IN a relationship. There is no argument from me alcoholism wrecks relationships. Specially if both people are actively drinking. Sobriety has to be a priority- but so also I think for you- is your partner. I think this is waaay to complex (well it would be for me) to deal with without professional support. Meetings/counselor/doc. Also with being careful not to depend on each other for sobriety. But, yes it is possible- my anchor in life is HOPE. It is hard work this sobriety business..With action and planned changes with support and thought- and honesty and lots of other'and's'- yes. Empathy, support and prayers to you both.