Andagain

Hey hey, soberfriends.

So, I've had ups and downs this last week or so and a lot of it comes from just feeling overwhelmed by life in general. Suddenly, after my mind stop being occupied by the overwhelming feeling of "stop drinking right now or you'll die, idiot" I started to realise that I needed to face life head on. Perhaps like a student who's left home for the first time and isn't used to dealing with the grown up world, I feel like I was out of it for so long that my capacity to cope with everyday problems needs some work.

I worry about my health and I now have to take sensible steps to rectify as best I can the damage I've done, I have to deal with other people and how unpleasant some of them can be, I worry about the state of the world and finances and all that stuff.

And, I've found that this feeling, this sense of just being overwhelmed by problems, is my biggest trigger. Because my anxiety (particularly hypochondria) is what I was medicating for and when things get too much the idea of buying a case of beer and knowing that for a short amount of time I would be able to simply not care about any of these things is occasionally tempting.

No, I haven't drank and no, I do not plan to, really I just wanted to get this off my chest and see if others have experienced similar feelings.

Dazee

That's exactly why I drink. I can't handle intense feelings, particularly helplessness. You're doing good not drinking, you aren't in my shoes (day 1)

biminiblue

All that spinny brain/fear/anxiety/worry is part of early sobriety. It gets better with continuous sober time.

I had all those same fears. I chipped away at them little by little and in conjunction with my nervous system healing, I don't dwell or obsess over anything anymore.

Give it time. Spinny brain sucks, but it gets so much better!

tomsteve

i found is wasnt all of the problems, but not knowing solutions for the problems.
i had to learn how to live life on lifes terms .

Andagain

Yeah, I can feel these fears getting better very, very slowly. I just try and remember that a lot of this is a physical response and I'm not thinking clearly right now.

SoberTyger

I feel exactly the same, when I sober up i have to learn to deal with life and living sober, which is actually much harder than stopping to drink. I had alcohol as my number one priority in life since i started drinking as a teenager, and as you say, now i feel like i am back at square one having to learn how to live life all over again. I never took care of any real life problems, just drank, and ran away for a new start when things got too bad, and started drinking again to repeat it all over and over again.

DontRemember

This was me as well. I now call it "me being a little bltch". That's how I describe it to my close 'normie' friends when they ask. I was mentally lost/handicapped and had no concept of being 'normal'. Constant "fight or flight" mode of living.

hpdw

Brilliant

Anna

I do remember feeling like you do and it is a bit overwhelming. A Gratitude Journal can be very helpful at a time like this, because it pushes you to find things in your life that you are grateful for and to pay attention to those.

Hang in there, and things will get better.

Ariesagain

I get it. I'm dealing with a crapton of stress this year and the hits just keep on coming...and being a world-class worrier/fretter, I desperately want my brain just to STFU for a while. Ten minutes, even.

But I also know that those ten minutes would pass and then the toxic aftermath would arrive...and booze always brings its friends Guilt, Self-Loathing, and Terror along with it....and they tend to stay.

You got this.

Sending you a hug.

madgirl

Intense exercise offers escape from your brain, too, and has the added benefit of making you feel better after you stop doing it (same day) as opposed to getting drunk.

Bunny211

yeah totally!! I totally relate!

DarklingSong

I could have written your post. It is really really hard to start dealing with the feelings.....the fear about health is bad right now for me too. I am just trying to hang on. The responses in this thread really help.
Thanks.

Alock

I don't have issues after I stop. Just I wished I could keep going. When I'm a week in I feel wonderful, so much so that I think "Well I feel great....I can handle some booze" II need to break the cycle. It's killing me & I'm not a young man anymore.

SoberedupGirl

Believe me. The oblivion is NOT worth the aftermath. Hang in there you're doing great!

SoberBlondie

Andagain your story is very relatable.

I was (am still, a little?) a major worrier/hypochondriac and stress-ball that tried to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and feelings with booze.
Obviously, as you know, that cycle only exacerbated the problem and the troublesome thoughts.

I still get the over-active mind from time to time, but try to quiet it by using mindfulness, gratitude, and even though I have a hard time sitting still...meditation.
Working out is also great and relaxing activities like reading or taking a bubble bath to unwind!

Andagain

Absolutely, in a way, constantly being in fight or flight, state of crises day in day out became a comfort blanket, what did I care about my responsibilities when I was living that close to killing myself, if that makes sense in a strange way.

Andagain

That's a great idea, I think I might start my journal this evening in fact =)

Andagain

I've taken up running as it happens! Going to do 5k in a couple of months, just need to build up to it.

Andagain

Thanks to everyone for their thoughtful replies, they were very helpful =)