A Labour of Love - Labor Day Weekender 1st - 4th Sept.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
A Labour of Love - Labor Day Weekender 1st - 4th Sept.
If you are reading this and are an alcoholic like me then you likely want to stop. Indeed you have probably tried many times but after 5 days, 10 days a month the cravings have not let up and so you relapse. That's what happened to me more times than I care to remember.
The good news is that it doesn't have to be like that, although at first everything seems so "up hill" there does come a point when the cravings start to become less frequent, first you get days then maybe a week to 10 days off.
For me cresting that hill came a little after 100 days but I was in a bad way so maybe it will be less for you. Keep that in mind early on - it does get easier.
The thing is you have got to reach that crest or tipping point which is why Dee and many other talk about a plan. Cravings are persistent but not very smart and can be avoided by having distractions, doing things that require some concentration.
You cannot be undertaking displacement activities for the rest of your life but you can do for a few hours a day (in my case the evenings) for a couple of months. It really does lessen the strain and it is a whole lot easier than living life drunk/hungover. Increasing willpower is not really possible imo so making quitting easier has to be the way to go. Obviously all this would be in addition to any medication or formal rehab/AA if you so choose.
I used to wonder if I would ever have the strength to quit. It turned to be the soft option.
Well that all sounded a bit preachy, Weekenders is usually a bit of light relief from the daily struggle - do not adjust your set - nothing has changed but I did just want to offer some encouragement to people who are still drinking and think "I cannot quit"
Have a grrrrrrreat Labor Day weekend!!!
The good news is that it doesn't have to be like that, although at first everything seems so "up hill" there does come a point when the cravings start to become less frequent, first you get days then maybe a week to 10 days off.
For me cresting that hill came a little after 100 days but I was in a bad way so maybe it will be less for you. Keep that in mind early on - it does get easier.
The thing is you have got to reach that crest or tipping point which is why Dee and many other talk about a plan. Cravings are persistent but not very smart and can be avoided by having distractions, doing things that require some concentration.
You cannot be undertaking displacement activities for the rest of your life but you can do for a few hours a day (in my case the evenings) for a couple of months. It really does lessen the strain and it is a whole lot easier than living life drunk/hungover. Increasing willpower is not really possible imo so making quitting easier has to be the way to go. Obviously all this would be in addition to any medication or formal rehab/AA if you so choose.
I used to wonder if I would ever have the strength to quit. It turned to be the soft option.
Well that all sounded a bit preachy, Weekenders is usually a bit of light relief from the daily struggle - do not adjust your set - nothing has changed but I did just want to offer some encouragement to people who are still drinking and think "I cannot quit"
Have a grrrrrrreat Labor Day weekend!!!
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Congrats on shotgun Dee.
Sao, You make a great point with "Increasing willpower is not really possible...". I hadn't realized it until you wrote it. But that was my approach all the times I wanted to quit but couldn't. Sheer will power just didn't cut it.
I'm looking forward to this weekend. My Aunt and Uncle (My dad's sister and her husband) are arriving from the U.K. on Saturday night. I don't remember the last time I saw them, 45 years ago at least.
Sao, You make a great point with "Increasing willpower is not really possible...". I hadn't realized it until you wrote it. But that was my approach all the times I wanted to quit but couldn't. Sheer will power just didn't cut it.
I'm looking forward to this weekend. My Aunt and Uncle (My dad's sister and her husband) are arriving from the U.K. on Saturday night. I don't remember the last time I saw them, 45 years ago at least.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
This weekend is a holiday weekend in the US and its my birthday on the 4th. None of it will really matter, we are busy packing and loading stuff into temporary storage starting Saturday morning. Not looking forward to it but it needs to be done.
I'm actually glad because since I quit drinking, the Holidays are just another day. In the past they were always celebrated with alcohol.
I'm actually glad because since I quit drinking, the Holidays are just another day. In the past they were always celebrated with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Labor of love.
My first AA meeting had the theme/discussion topic of, "Self-care." I chose a women's meeting as my first meeting and I'm really glad I did that; the gentle sisterhood and love shown to me was what I needed.
Self-care. When I was drinking, the sheets stayed on the bed for a month. The shower didn't get cleaned. Heck, I was lucky to make it to the shower more than once a week. Toothbrush? How long has it been...? Yep. I said it. I was not working and live alone, so what was the point in doing all that nonsense? Such depressive/alcoholic thinking.
Self-care/self-love is so much more than personal hygiene, but it does all tie together. I have a little sticky note above my computer that says, "Do only that which is good for you." I strive to make that my life mantra these days and it extends to my health (like being a healthy weight, exercising, going to the doctor and dentist when recommended) and to my relationships.
I take care to set my intentions daily. I use prayer. At the end of the day I review my actions and interactions. I forgive myself and others as quickly as possible.
After three and a half years sober, I'm emotionally, physically and spiritually as stable as I've ever been. I'm really grateful to not have that burden of alcohol in my life. Positive actions build on themselves.
If you're lurking this thread, jump in. Talking (posting) these things out is more therapeutic than you may think.
*
I went to the fair again.
There was an eight day old white alpaca. I think the alpacas win for my favorite animals every year.
My first AA meeting had the theme/discussion topic of, "Self-care." I chose a women's meeting as my first meeting and I'm really glad I did that; the gentle sisterhood and love shown to me was what I needed.
Self-care. When I was drinking, the sheets stayed on the bed for a month. The shower didn't get cleaned. Heck, I was lucky to make it to the shower more than once a week. Toothbrush? How long has it been...? Yep. I said it. I was not working and live alone, so what was the point in doing all that nonsense? Such depressive/alcoholic thinking.
Self-care/self-love is so much more than personal hygiene, but it does all tie together. I have a little sticky note above my computer that says, "Do only that which is good for you." I strive to make that my life mantra these days and it extends to my health (like being a healthy weight, exercising, going to the doctor and dentist when recommended) and to my relationships.
I take care to set my intentions daily. I use prayer. At the end of the day I review my actions and interactions. I forgive myself and others as quickly as possible.
After three and a half years sober, I'm emotionally, physically and spiritually as stable as I've ever been. I'm really grateful to not have that burden of alcohol in my life. Positive actions build on themselves.
If you're lurking this thread, jump in. Talking (posting) these things out is more therapeutic than you may think.
*
I went to the fair again.
There was an eight day old white alpaca. I think the alpacas win for my favorite animals every year.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
I like what you said about cresting the hill. I think my sober journey was on a slight incline for a while and then went very steep and difficult during my vacation at my dad's house (where cocktail hour starts at 3pm and continues until bedtime). I feel like I learned so much during that week about myself - my relationship with my dad, the power of my associations with alcohol on my emotions, and most importantly, my power to handle any situation without alcohol. Since I returned home, I feel like I am running downhill and it feels so good!
That also reminds me - the day after I returned home, I had a race, aptly named "The Dreaded Druid Hills." It's up a hill, down the back, up another, etc. Pretty quickly you realize that no matter how hard the uphill is, it will be followed by a downhill so you can push through. Really nice metaphor for sobriety.
That also reminds me - the day after I returned home, I had a race, aptly named "The Dreaded Druid Hills." It's up a hill, down the back, up another, etc. Pretty quickly you realize that no matter how hard the uphill is, it will be followed by a downhill so you can push through. Really nice metaphor for sobriety.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
As biminiblue says, if you dou want to quit by all means jump in - you don't have to be on the wagon, you only have to want to be.
Personal hygiene and household chores were one of the casualties of my drinking too.
In a not quite related sentence, on my Tube journey (underground railway) this evening there was nasty "trod in" smell. Once I got out of the station I checked my shoes and was relieved it wasn't me. Most unpleasant though.
There is a middle aged drunk man near where I live who habitually walks out between the traffic on a very busy road. I am amazed he hasn't been run over. I think the only thing that saves him is the fact that the traffic is barely moving which also means there is no escaping him if you are in a car. Very sad.
Personal hygiene and household chores were one of the casualties of my drinking too.
In a not quite related sentence, on my Tube journey (underground railway) this evening there was nasty "trod in" smell. Once I got out of the station I checked my shoes and was relieved it wasn't me. Most unpleasant though.
There is a middle aged drunk man near where I live who habitually walks out between the traffic on a very busy road. I am amazed he hasn't been run over. I think the only thing that saves him is the fact that the traffic is barely moving which also means there is no escaping him if you are in a car. Very sad.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Originally Posted by applewakesup 
That also reminds me - the day after I returned home, I had a race, aptly named "The Dreaded Druid Hills." It's up a hill, down the back, up another, etc. Pretty quickly you realize that no matter how hard the uphill is, it will be followed by a downhill so you can push through. Really nice metaphor for sobriety.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi everyone I'm in too. Love your posts Sao and your perspective on things. Thank you.
I'm in the UK but happy labor day weekend to our classmates over the water !
Great post too bimini thank you. My husbands favourite animals are llamas and alpacas we have some pictures _love your pic !
I'm in the UK but happy labor day weekend to our classmates over the water !
Great post too bimini thank you. My husbands favourite animals are llamas and alpacas we have some pictures _love your pic !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Labor day week-end has been party time for me. Especially having a party girl reputation and a pool. Friends are hitting me up left and right. I just want to run away.. far far away... A road trip is out of the question after our run with pet sitters! so I will stay around and do much needed overdo projects on the house, job and still get out for some fun. I am letting friends in on my sobriety as the invites pour in. Eventually they will get it. And hopefully I will not give in. I don't think I will, but it sure is dancing around in my mind.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
Welcome to Weekenders ReadyAtLast!
I mentioned this on another thread but I found out my youngest daughter got turned down for the Apprentice, made the first cut but not the later one. She does not really have enough business experience imo (kept that thought to myself)
I mentioned this on another thread but I found out my youngest daughter got turned down for the Apprentice, made the first cut but not the later one. She does not really have enough business experience imo (kept that thought to myself)
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