lost for 17 years
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 3
lost for 17 years
Hi....found this forum and really happy I did....Background:
In 2000, I had a hand surgery and was prescribed vicodin 10/650 for the pain..Surgery was "botched" and left me with a condition known as RSD...so, to keep the pain non existent the "wonder drug" worked like a charm (now remember, this is 2000 before this opiate epidemic every was started)....at first I only took one as needed, maybe once a week and then SOMEHOW without me even knowing it (the education out there was NON existent) I became addicted (dependent). 17 years later, I can not be without and try not to. But of course, as you all can relate, after I get my prescription once a month of 120 10/325 I run out approx. 2 weeks after I fill it. Now, the mind games start and the FEAR and I mean FEAR of running out and how am I going to get thru til the next month.
The street works, but that is hard to do now because of all the crack downs... I have run out several times and the WITHDRAWL is so awful I feel like Linda Blair from the Exocerist is a ***** cat compared to how I feel both mentally and physically. All the while, NO ONE knows about this, not even my husband on what I go through and how it affects me.
After researching and listening to people in my shape, I truly THINK I don't need these pills from hell, or atleast want to try to get off of them without the awful withdrawl. And NO, I don't want to substitute the medication with Methadone or any other crap because I will just get dependent on that (I know ME)...so the reason I joined this forum is to get educated from people on how to do this naturally and get some good insight on trying to get a "magical way" to go thru this without the pain staking physical/mental withdrawl. There has go to be a way...(I HOPE). This is my "cry for help" in a very private anonymous way to get the help I need. I know I can do this, just need the education.
P.S. I no longer can get the prescription from my doc because of the law, he cant prescribe them and I went to pain management and the dr. doesn't want to prescribe any narcotic (hes scared of his license) and truthfully I don't blame him. One concern I have is running out and shocking my body and getting sick.
Also, I DONT HAVE TIME to sit in a room and withdrawl for days...I gotta keep moving, I have way too much on my plate as a caregiver to family members.
Thanks for listening and please don't reply with crazy remedies that are outlandish and not realistic.
In 2000, I had a hand surgery and was prescribed vicodin 10/650 for the pain..Surgery was "botched" and left me with a condition known as RSD...so, to keep the pain non existent the "wonder drug" worked like a charm (now remember, this is 2000 before this opiate epidemic every was started)....at first I only took one as needed, maybe once a week and then SOMEHOW without me even knowing it (the education out there was NON existent) I became addicted (dependent). 17 years later, I can not be without and try not to. But of course, as you all can relate, after I get my prescription once a month of 120 10/325 I run out approx. 2 weeks after I fill it. Now, the mind games start and the FEAR and I mean FEAR of running out and how am I going to get thru til the next month.
The street works, but that is hard to do now because of all the crack downs... I have run out several times and the WITHDRAWL is so awful I feel like Linda Blair from the Exocerist is a ***** cat compared to how I feel both mentally and physically. All the while, NO ONE knows about this, not even my husband on what I go through and how it affects me.
After researching and listening to people in my shape, I truly THINK I don't need these pills from hell, or atleast want to try to get off of them without the awful withdrawl. And NO, I don't want to substitute the medication with Methadone or any other crap because I will just get dependent on that (I know ME)...so the reason I joined this forum is to get educated from people on how to do this naturally and get some good insight on trying to get a "magical way" to go thru this without the pain staking physical/mental withdrawl. There has go to be a way...(I HOPE). This is my "cry for help" in a very private anonymous way to get the help I need. I know I can do this, just need the education.
P.S. I no longer can get the prescription from my doc because of the law, he cant prescribe them and I went to pain management and the dr. doesn't want to prescribe any narcotic (hes scared of his license) and truthfully I don't blame him. One concern I have is running out and shocking my body and getting sick.
Also, I DONT HAVE TIME to sit in a room and withdrawl for days...I gotta keep moving, I have way too much on my plate as a caregiver to family members.
Thanks for listening and please don't reply with crazy remedies that are outlandish and not realistic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 3
Thanks for responding...thats means alot...I haven't talked to my doc about it as Im still on the fence of when I make that choice to ask him....it becomes REAL and no turning back! This was a big big step for me tonight just to join a group! thank you for responding 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kampala, Uganda
Posts: 327
Hi needtotalk.
Sorry for what you're going through. I've also never done anything other than alcohol but, from what you've written, the withdrawal is really painful. I would definitely see my doctor about that. You can get free of the disease of addiction but the journey, especially in the beginning, will neither be painless nor comfortable. At the end, though, you will be free again.
Good on you for starting the journey. And welcome to SR.
Sorry for what you're going through. I've also never done anything other than alcohol but, from what you've written, the withdrawal is really painful. I would definitely see my doctor about that. You can get free of the disease of addiction but the journey, especially in the beginning, will neither be painless nor comfortable. At the end, though, you will be free again.
Good on you for starting the journey. And welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR, Needtotalk. I'm sorry about what you're going through but I'm really glad you found us here. The good news is that there's help, and people who understand what you're dealing with. The shame of addiction is one of the worst parts, and I understand very well the pain of lost years. Addiction takes everything we have a little bit at a time until we can barely recognize what's left.
But there's hope! It can be beat. Booze was my thing but we do have a section here that's geared towards drugs. In many ways they're similar in what they do to us.
Hang in there! Don't give up.
But there's hope! It can be beat. Booze was my thing but we do have a section here that's geared towards drugs. In many ways they're similar in what they do to us.
Hang in there! Don't give up.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Originally Posted by neeedtotalk 
Thanks for responding...thats means alot...I haven't talked to my doc about it as Im still on the fence of when I make that choice to ask him....it becomes REAL and no turning back! This was a big big step for me tonight just to join a group! thank you for responding
Don't let that dissuade you from getting help though!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome neeedtotalk
I'm not familiar with Vicodin but I think everyone's recovery needs a little time & effort spent on it, even if it's checking in here everyday.
SR certainly helped me turn my life around. You'll find a lot of support here.
You might also like to check out our Substance Abuse forum as well:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
I'm not familiar with Vicodin but I think everyone's recovery needs a little time & effort spent on it, even if it's checking in here everyday.
SR certainly helped me turn my life around. You'll find a lot of support here.
You might also like to check out our Substance Abuse forum as well:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
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