A slip at day 31

Old 08-29-2017, 06:15 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
AwkwardKitty's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
A slip at day 31

I am ashamed to admit I slipped up on Sunday, which was my 31st day of sobriety, and also my birthday.

I had planned a family day and it was a beautiful day - we went for a lovely italian meal, spent time by the river, went on a boat. It was a very sunny day and booze seemed to be everywhere - ads for cocktails, people enjoying a beer in the sun, hubby having a beer with lunch (I had a huge bottle of sparkly water - mummy champers as I call it ha). My AV ate away at me all day and I ended up in tears with the 'pain' and feeling sorry for myself. I got home and put my son to bed and contemplated staying in bed then I asked my husband to get beer and he did. So I started drinking about 10.30pm. I think I knew deep down from about 9 which way I was headed. The beer tasted foul and I drank 8 cans, passed out on the sofa and woke up feeling very ill. I did not enjoy it, not at all. I just sit there obsessing about how much is left. I think part of me was thinking this will be the last time I drink, let me have as much as I can which I know was an excuse to get caned.
I have felt low the past 2 days. It always pushes me into a depressive cycle. I have thought briefly about drinking again. But most of all I feel a huge weight of sadness and disappointment. I am determined to move forward armed with the knowledge this slip gave me about myself.
When I woke this morning I thought I hope I dont drink today. I then felt different and realised no amount of hoping will stop me. I am in control of it, theres no hoping involved. So I said to myself 'No, I will not drink today' and so I didn't.
AwkwardKitty is offline  
Old 08-29-2017, 06:28 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Poppy79's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Hi AwkwardKitty,
I too recently slipped after 9 months sober. It sure is a horrible feeling. Shame, anxiety, very low and dark mood, utter fear for the future. But like you, I decided not to let it become a full blown relapse, instead a BLIP in my road to recovery.
Look at it like this, you had 30 wins and 1 loss. Odds are still in your favour and you have shown you can stop and stay stopped during the hardest time (first couple of weeks I believe).
Make this blip a learning lesson and I dare say you will be stronger for it
Poppy79 is offline  
Old 08-29-2017, 07:27 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Midwest1981's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
it sounds like you are back on track and that you learned something from it. That is the important thing.
Midwest1981 is offline  
Old 08-29-2017, 07:34 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 209,180
Hi Awkwatd Kitty

many of us faltered a time or two - get back on the horse, get rid of any alcohol you might have around still, and maybe think about what you could do differently this time?

what can you add to your 'recovery toolbox'?

Dee74 is offline  
Old 08-29-2017, 07:56 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 182
Dust yourself off

If it's any consolation I've always been mortified that I can't make it to 30 days, so please realize what an accomplishment THAT in itself is. I remember my first relapse I told my sponsor about and she said "sweetie, we're alcoholics. We drink. That's what we do". You sound like me as if you feel you've committed bloody murder and feel immense guilt at every slip but remember this is who we are and a battle we'll be fighting for a long time. Hsnf in there
Hawking22 is offline  
Old 08-29-2017, 10:44 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
SimplyFree's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
I took me 3 tries to get through the first 30 days. I never want to do that again. So I truly believe 1 is too many, and no I'm not a normal drinker....whatever that means. Like any of our bodies really likes getting poisoned.
SimplyFree is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:42 PM.