If offered
no thanks I'm not drinking today.
Pretty simple and works great.
M-Bob

I understand what you are saying and I appreciate the advice. I had to make a judgement call and I may not have made the right one but I'm going to get through it sober. I felt at the time I had made a commitment to go though it has put me in a far more challenging position than if I'd stayed at home. It's a lesson learned. I'm lucky in that my family are close but they expect a lot. I need to think about putting new boundaries in place. I WILL come home sober

Still going
 

Day 12 now and still going.I'm surviving my trip home. I've not been having too many strong cravings but been feeling quite scared and emotional at times. It helps a lot to read on here everyday. I've had a series of realisations the last few days and I know now my life has been seriously threatened and undermined by drinking for almost 20 years. I think that's why Im feeling scared. It's like finally waking up. Thank you everyone. I hope you all are doing well.

Glad you're doing ok Gabe :)

D

Thanks D 😊

Good Morning Gabe1980, Happy to hear that you are ok. This wonderful place is great for inspiration & support. Stick close. Sweetpeacan :grouphug:

You are doing great!!

I just wanted to share with you my experience -

1. I have done many holidays, all off them all in inclusive, and I found the drunker friends or family get, the less they cared about my drinking. The pressure ends when they are 4 or 5 drinks in.

2. I also had that irritating AV around 5pm and what worked for me was having a sugary drink around 3pm. Fresh orange juice, a milkshake, a hot chocolate worked really well. For me it dealt with the slump on my way home from work that, in the past, would lead to me buying booze.

3. I used to find events and parties etc difficult in the early days. To overcome it, I would find myself a task to do so I was not surrounded by drinkers pressuring me into having just the one. I would be the 'unofficial photographer', I would wash up and tidying plates away if it was at someones house or held at my house.

4. If I was abroad on holiday, I would volunteer to get sun beds in the morning - so I would need to get to bed earlier, so I could get up early. I would volunteer to go the supermarket everyday for water etc.

The unofficial photographer worked well on holidays and weddings and christenings as I could go for a walk so I could take photo's. I could make an excuse to go when I felt things were too much and say I want to find a beach/buildings/area/friends/family/the bride/nephew/nieces to take photo's of.
I would always share my photo's as an album so others didn't think I was just sloping off in a mood!!
I would print some of the photos out and put them in a nice album or picture frame. Could you do that?

I totally get the Scottish thing.
In our country it seems every day, hour, minute counts towards when it is okay to have a glass of Prosecco.
Always remember that prosecco is just babycham in disguise!! It is not new or even nice!

The pressure to drink makes me cross.
For many of us, alcohol is dangerous.
It is a drug and we would not pressure a heroin addict to keep taking heroin, so why pressurise drinkers to keep drinking?

I think in the end, it is also worth being firm. I never told anyone the reason why I stopped drinking. I did not feel that I wanted to share that with anyone else other than my family here. There were times I had to be hard and remind them I said no and that if they kept on with nattering me to drink, I would leave.

I wish you the best

Hey Sasha. Thanks very much for your post and the tips you gave.
I've been having some major sugar cravings late afternoon but orange juice mixed with lemonade seems to sort this out. I think I used to end up on the wine an awful lot when I was hungry too so I an eating everything Im offered just now.

What Ive realised is:

There are only a couple of the usual candidates who it seems to bother that Im not drinking and I seem to have shot them down dead. Not meaning to be rude but I can hear how brittle I sound and the message has got through.

I'm also spending time with different people. The sober one's. My mum especially. And staying busy helping. I regret not doing that more.
This weekend Im camping too, instead of staying with them all so I can excuse myself early evening and read.

Its taken some work but its been managable. My mindset has changed and I just want to sober. And an adult. And grateful 😊

First of all well done in staying sober!
I am from Scotland and visit very often. . . so I totally understand why you were apprehensive about going home. It seems like drinking lots of alcohol is the norm there doesn't it? Truth is - it really isn't. I have only been sober for 5 days and already I am thinking about what I will do when I go to visit soon and what I will say etc I am not ready to come out and say that I "have a drink problem" but I think I will just say that I don't feel like drinking alcohol. Well done again and keep posting! x

Great post with really useful tips. Thank you!

Thank you for posting Sweetpecan 😊 misscostalot 😊 I had the same worries about going home but the advice on here has been brilliant. Stand firm and you dont have to say anything if you are not ready too. 'no thanks' is enough. Well done and good luck to you too xx