Wanting a different life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 3
Wanting a different life
Hi, I'm not sure if that is the best way to put it..."wanting a different life". But I want things to be different. I want progress, rather than running on a treadmill. I want to set goals and actually be able to get up in the morning and work twards them, rather than wake up with a crushinghead ache, upset stomach, dehydrated, red eyes, still tired even with 8 hours sleep, anxiety, and guilt.
I have been drinking too much in the evening at least 2 or 3 days a week. It's just making me sick to the point that I am minimally functioning at least 2 days a week. I have ideas about what I would like to be able to do the next day, but when that day comes with a hangover, I'm just trying to get by. I guess I realize, it doesn't make sense to keep doing the same thing.
Of course there must have been reasons why I started to drink heavily to begin with, but it's just not the answer, so I need to let that habit go. I'm a bit of a procrastinator. I've known I should quit for a while. I'm like that in other areas, but once in a while, I just get to a point where I am tired of it and I am wanting something better and I actually make some changes.
The only addictive thing I've quit before was benzos, which were prescribed to me for trouble staying asleep. The doctor never should have prescibed them, because that type of drug only works for a while, then you need to up the dose. After upping it one time, a few months went by and I decided to quit. I couldn't quit cold turkey, due to terrible withdrawl effects and the possibility of seizures, so I tapered over a couple months, or at least as far as I can remember, that's about how long it took to reduce the does a few times. That was several years ago.
Anyway, I have been planning on quitting drinking, but I go a couple days and cravings are hard, then another day and I give in. I think of it like, being sick or hungry so much that it's sort of like a feeling you need to do something in order to survive, so I give in and drink then I repeated this a few times over the last couple of months.
So I figured that I will see if I can cut my consumption for a while (not sure how long), but alcohol is similar to benzos in the withdrawl. I can take some pain, like I did when I adjusted to a smaller dose, knowing that it is at least a lesser pain with each step and in the end, I'll be down to nothing and not have to deal with it again.
The last time I drank excessively (8 or 9 beers), was 3 nights ago. Then the next day and today, I drank 2 beers early evening. After an hour or so the effects wore off and I felt fine, no craving and no anxiety. I realize as someone who has a habit of overdrinking, that I need to quit completely and forever. I don't actually want to drink, not even when I have the 2 beers. I just don't want to have the overwhelming feeling of needing to drink, and ending up drinking 8 beers, then the next day with a hangover and back on that treadmill I want off of.
A couple days ago, I made myself a calander for the next 3 weeks. I wrote out for the next few days what I want to accomplish on those days. Then I think that, if I don't drink the 8+beers on any of those days, look at what I will have done. I'm looking at it like a positive way I am choosing to live, rather than something that is being taken from be. Over time, I will gain.
Does it make sense that I will have less cravings if I drink less, then quit cold turkey, with the goal of quitting completeley? I did want to quit complelety, and I know that is the only way, so moderation is not the goal. I'm not trying to see if I can drink, because I don't even want to. I just can't deal with the withdrawl, but I can deal with just having 2 for a week or so, then 1, then none. I'm committed to this, so I'll give it my best shot.
I have been drinking too much in the evening at least 2 or 3 days a week. It's just making me sick to the point that I am minimally functioning at least 2 days a week. I have ideas about what I would like to be able to do the next day, but when that day comes with a hangover, I'm just trying to get by. I guess I realize, it doesn't make sense to keep doing the same thing.
Of course there must have been reasons why I started to drink heavily to begin with, but it's just not the answer, so I need to let that habit go. I'm a bit of a procrastinator. I've known I should quit for a while. I'm like that in other areas, but once in a while, I just get to a point where I am tired of it and I am wanting something better and I actually make some changes.
The only addictive thing I've quit before was benzos, which were prescribed to me for trouble staying asleep. The doctor never should have prescibed them, because that type of drug only works for a while, then you need to up the dose. After upping it one time, a few months went by and I decided to quit. I couldn't quit cold turkey, due to terrible withdrawl effects and the possibility of seizures, so I tapered over a couple months, or at least as far as I can remember, that's about how long it took to reduce the does a few times. That was several years ago.
Anyway, I have been planning on quitting drinking, but I go a couple days and cravings are hard, then another day and I give in. I think of it like, being sick or hungry so much that it's sort of like a feeling you need to do something in order to survive, so I give in and drink then I repeated this a few times over the last couple of months.
So I figured that I will see if I can cut my consumption for a while (not sure how long), but alcohol is similar to benzos in the withdrawl. I can take some pain, like I did when I adjusted to a smaller dose, knowing that it is at least a lesser pain with each step and in the end, I'll be down to nothing and not have to deal with it again.
The last time I drank excessively (8 or 9 beers), was 3 nights ago. Then the next day and today, I drank 2 beers early evening. After an hour or so the effects wore off and I felt fine, no craving and no anxiety. I realize as someone who has a habit of overdrinking, that I need to quit completely and forever. I don't actually want to drink, not even when I have the 2 beers. I just don't want to have the overwhelming feeling of needing to drink, and ending up drinking 8 beers, then the next day with a hangover and back on that treadmill I want off of.
A couple days ago, I made myself a calander for the next 3 weeks. I wrote out for the next few days what I want to accomplish on those days. Then I think that, if I don't drink the 8+beers on any of those days, look at what I will have done. I'm looking at it like a positive way I am choosing to live, rather than something that is being taken from be. Over time, I will gain.
Does it make sense that I will have less cravings if I drink less, then quit cold turkey, with the goal of quitting completeley? I did want to quit complelety, and I know that is the only way, so moderation is not the goal. I'm not trying to see if I can drink, because I don't even want to. I just can't deal with the withdrawl, but I can deal with just having 2 for a week or so, then 1, then none. I'm committed to this, so I'll give it my best shot.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi and welcome CatFriend 
I never made tapering work for me. I either drank all the alcohol, sometimes the first day, sometimes the second and very occasionally the third.
Trying to control my intake was pretty futile. I think drinking less made me crave more if I'm honest.
Personally I think the best way is see a Dr, get checked out, make sure its safe for you to quit and then take it from there.
D
I never made tapering work for me. I either drank all the alcohol, sometimes the first day, sometimes the second and very occasionally the third.
Trying to control my intake was pretty futile. I think drinking less made me crave more if I'm honest.
Personally I think the best way is see a Dr, get checked out, make sure its safe for you to quit and then take it from there.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi and welcome CatFriend
I never made tapering work for me. I either drank all the alcohol, sometimes the first day, sometimes the second and very occasionally the third.
Trying to control my intake was pretty futile. I think drinking less made me crave more if I'm honest.
Personally I think the best way is see a Dr, get checked out, make sure its safe for you to quit and then take it from there.
D
I never made tapering work for me. I either drank all the alcohol, sometimes the first day, sometimes the second and very occasionally the third.
Trying to control my intake was pretty futile. I think drinking less made me crave more if I'm honest.
Personally I think the best way is see a Dr, get checked out, make sure its safe for you to quit and then take it from there.
D
Thanks for the welcome and reply. Doing a taper may not work, but then it might. I know there may be better options.
I'm doing the strict schedule of 1 week, 2 beers a day, then 1 week 1 beer a day. I don't want to drag it out that long, just enough to give some time to adjust. Hopefully I have a better chance, since I did the same with benzos. I'll do an update to let everyone know if I kept to the plan. But I am feeling happy the last 2 days, when I realize that I will be waking up the next day without a hangover. I feelmore optomistic and hopefully that will help reinforce my commitment to stick to it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I don't think I've changed many newcomers minds on doing a taper but I keep trying
If you get into trouble, call your local hospital or GP.
If the taper doesn't work, you know where we are
D
If you get into trouble, call your local hospital or GP.
If the taper doesn't work, you know where we are
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Hi CatFriend,
I'm only into my second week sober so maybe not the greatest for advice but I'm thinking of you and wish you the very best in your decision to quit drinking.
I'm keeping a recovery journal just now which really helps me. I been recording all the benefits of drinking (very few) in comparison to the costs and this has helped me in terms of motivation. I've also started a memories section of all the times alcohol has disrupted or threatend my life which is terrifying but has also really helped. Focus on all the things you are good at and try to enjoy doing them. Best of luck. Gabe
I'm only into my second week sober so maybe not the greatest for advice but I'm thinking of you and wish you the very best in your decision to quit drinking.
I'm keeping a recovery journal just now which really helps me. I been recording all the benefits of drinking (very few) in comparison to the costs and this has helped me in terms of motivation. I've also started a memories section of all the times alcohol has disrupted or threatend my life which is terrifying but has also really helped. Focus on all the things you are good at and try to enjoy doing them. Best of luck. Gabe
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Gabe1980
Hi CatFriend,
I'm only into my second week sober so maybe not the greatest for advice but I'm thinking of you and wish you the very best in your decision to quit drinking.
I'm keeping a recovery journal just now which really helps me. I been recording all the benefits of drinking (very few) in comparison to the costs and this has helped me in terms of motivation. I've also started a memories section of all the times alcohol has disrupted or threatend my life which is terrifying but has also really helped. Focus on all the things you are good at and try to enjoy doing them. Best of luck. Gabe
I'm only into my second week sober so maybe not the greatest for advice but I'm thinking of you and wish you the very best in your decision to quit drinking.
I'm keeping a recovery journal just now which really helps me. I been recording all the benefits of drinking (very few) in comparison to the costs and this has helped me in terms of motivation. I've also started a memories section of all the times alcohol has disrupted or threatend my life which is terrifying but has also really helped. Focus on all the things you are good at and try to enjoy doing them. Best of luck. Gabe
Thanks for wishing me well.. and congradulations on your good start.
As for me the benefits to drinking that I see are zero. I don't believe there will be anything missed. Everything about drinking sucks: the going out to buy the beers guilt, the expense, the knowing as I start to drink or as I decide that I will drink, that it's a choice of failure, most of the enjoyment of drinking is gone, it's more like something I feel I have to do to not feel bad simply because my body is used to it, waking up is horrible, I can't wait for the next day to be over and so on and so on. I don't even want to be able to be a social drinker in the future. Even for the people who seem like social drinkers, having 3 or 4 drinks at the most, it's affecting them badly too.
You are right about focusing on things you are good at and enjoying that. That sounds like a good life. My calander is helping me a lot, because I can see what my days will be if I'm not staying in the binging cycle.
I'm thinking about speeding up the taper. 3 days for 2 beers, 3 days for 1.5 beers, 3 days for 1 beer and be done in 9 days total, instead of 14 days.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome. Glad you are reaching out.
I agree with Dee as usual- I never think tapering is a good idea. I speak in general from LOTS of observation of others, and as someone who went cold turkey from a VERY heavy vodka habit at the end of my drinking.
You already told us you know drinking does nothing good for you. I can promise you that for us alcoholics, everything is better sober- even the "bad" stuff.
IMO and again, from observation of many, one very strong reason not to try tapering is that our addicted minds can play all kinds of games, delays, justifications etc if we try to "plan" our decreased usage. Dee describes his version of this well.
My best to you for good choices in your journey. Hope to see you around here.
I agree with Dee as usual- I never think tapering is a good idea. I speak in general from LOTS of observation of others, and as someone who went cold turkey from a VERY heavy vodka habit at the end of my drinking.
You already told us you know drinking does nothing good for you. I can promise you that for us alcoholics, everything is better sober- even the "bad" stuff.
IMO and again, from observation of many, one very strong reason not to try tapering is that our addicted minds can play all kinds of games, delays, justifications etc if we try to "plan" our decreased usage. Dee describes his version of this well.
My best to you for good choices in your journey. Hope to see you around here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I'm very clear about the fact that I'm an alcoholic. For me that means anytime I put alcohol in to my body, the outcome will be negative. As I'm an alcoholic, I tried controlling my drinking by switching from liquor to wine to beer. Even with beer, it was a trainwreck. The point for me was that I didn't really want to quit drinking and having the effect of alcohol so I was willing to try anything to not give it up. The control method never worked for me. It was all or nothing because that is the type of person I am!
The key is that you want to make a change. And that is super awesome. Give it a go and see if it works out for you. If you're an alcoholic, it won't. If it doesn't work, I suggest ridding your home of all triggers such as getting rid of anything alcohol-related such as glassware, the liquor cabinet, bottle openers, posters/prints/etc on the walls. Make your nest your safe alcohol free zone.
Be well and we're always here
The key is that you want to make a change. And that is super awesome. Give it a go and see if it works out for you. If you're an alcoholic, it won't. If it doesn't work, I suggest ridding your home of all triggers such as getting rid of anything alcohol-related such as glassware, the liquor cabinet, bottle openers, posters/prints/etc on the walls. Make your nest your safe alcohol free zone.
Be well and we're always here
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Hi & Welcome
Like lots of others here im an alcoholic.
Lots of years of alcoholism has made me 100% intolerant to drink (like an allergy)
Tapering never worked for me. I used to buy a bottle of whiskey thinking i would have a glass with ice... the blackout was always just around the corner...
When you know you really want to stop this site is a great place.
Wishing you all the best.
Vinny
Like lots of others here im an alcoholic.
Lots of years of alcoholism has made me 100% intolerant to drink (like an allergy)
Tapering never worked for me. I used to buy a bottle of whiskey thinking i would have a glass with ice... the blackout was always just around the corner...
When you know you really want to stop this site is a great place.
Wishing you all the best.
Vinny
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