I want out - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-26-2017, 04:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
secretchord's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 428
Blog Entries: 5

I want out


I want to stop. I've stopped before. I was sober for one year. Why can't I do it again? I feel like such a failure
secretchord is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to secretchord For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (08-26-2017), Anna (08-26-2017), asixstringnut (08-29-2017), D122y (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), Hevyn (08-26-2017), KiKi0615 (08-26-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), Outonthetiles (08-26-2017), PhoenixJ (09-03-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017), SnazzyDresser (08-28-2017), Snufkin (08-26-2017), thomas11 (08-28-2017), WeaverBird (08-28-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 04:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Jules714's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
You can do it. You did it before. You know what it takes and it's not pretty to start but anything feels better than being desperate to be sober, right?
Call your doctor, get the meds, pick the day and start living again.
You completely can do this.
Jules
Jules714 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Jules714 For This Useful Post:
determined99 (08-27-2017), greens (08-26-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), Snufkin (08-26-2017), tiffanyeagle (09-03-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 04:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Outonthetiles's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,125
You can do it. Pick yourself and start climbing that hill again. We're all in the same boat.
Outonthetiles is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Outonthetiles For This Useful Post:
determined99 (08-27-2017), KiKi0615 (08-26-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), tiffanyeagle (09-03-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 04:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 770
Sometimes it can seem harder to stop again. Im glad youre back. Youve done it before and can do it again. What are you doing today to take care of yourself?
greens is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to greens For This Useful Post:
determined99 (08-27-2017), KiKi0615 (08-26-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017), tiffanyeagle (09-03-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 04:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
secretchord's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 428
Blog Entries: 5
I'm drinking today. Thought I had it under control. I thought it would be different but it's not. I met with a therapist who said I could die in my sleep mixing my meds with wine. It hasn't hit me? Why hasn't it hit me? I could die and I'm still drinking. How does this make sense?
secretchord is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to secretchord For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), tiffanyeagle (09-03-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 04:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by secretchord View Post
I'm drinking today. Thought I had it under control. I thought it would be different but it's not. I met with a therapist who said I could die in my sleep mixing my meds with wine. It hasn't hit me? Why hasn't it hit me? I could die and I'm still drinking. How does this make sense?
because its untreated alcoholism and its progressing.
SC, getting sober aint easy- it first requires a decision- a decision to want to get sober. then a decision to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol- a decision to make whatever action is necessary.
staying sober is easy.

i hope you decide you want to get sober.
then become willing.
__________________
all big book quotes from 1st edition
tomsteve is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
bllit (08-26-2017), CreativeThinker (08-26-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), HTown (08-26-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017), shauninspain (09-01-2017), tealily (08-31-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 05:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
secretchord's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 428
Blog Entries: 5
I want tomorrow to be my day 1. Can you help me through this?
secretchord is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to secretchord For This Useful Post:
applewakesup (08-27-2017), DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), tiffanyeagle (09-03-2017), tomsteve (08-26-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 05:53 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 18,439
Secretchord, I'm sorry to hear you're still drinking. It is the same process as the last time. Don't pick up a drink tomorrow. Go to bed sober. Get through the first few days to a week and things will start looking up.

You can do it.
__________________
The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea.
~ Isak Dinesen
biminiblue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), SnazzyDresser (08-28-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 05:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
secretchord's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 428
Blog Entries: 5
This is harder than the first time. I don't know why but it is.
secretchord is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to secretchord For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017), tiffanyeagle (09-03-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 05:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by secretchord View Post
I want tomorrow to be my day 1. Can you help me through this?
idk how we can help, but you can definately recover. we can support ya, but we cant do your recovery.
1st things 1st,though- i suggest ya dump out whatever alcohol ya have.
__________________
all big book quotes from 1st edition
tomsteve is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 05:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
secretchord's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 428
Blog Entries: 5
I dumped it an hour ago
secretchord is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to secretchord For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (08-26-2017), applewakesup (08-27-2017), biminiblue (08-26-2017), DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), Gottalife (08-26-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), Outonthetiles (08-27-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017), tiffanyeagle (09-03-2017), tomsteve (08-26-2017), tursiops999 (08-26-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 05:58 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,286
good on ya!!!
now toss out the ass kikin machine- it aint gonna help ya.
nonono- not disassemble it and put it in the closet.

because that aint gonna help - youre not a bad person, just a sick one.

then start thinking about a recovery program/plan maybe???
__________________
all big book quotes from 1st edition
tomsteve is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 06:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
secretchord's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 428
Blog Entries: 5
I'm ready. I have to be ready. First temptation or craving I'm coming here. That's what I did last time and it worked. I'm too shy for groups.
secretchord is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to secretchord For This Useful Post:
biminiblue (08-26-2017), DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), newpage119 (08-27-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017), tomsteve (08-26-2017), tursiops999 (08-26-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 06:05 PM   #14 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,253
Secretchord, I'm sorry you're struggling. It does seem to get harder each time, but you can make this the last time. We're here for you. I'm glad you dumped the wine and you can start on your Day 1. You can do this!
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 06:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 18,439
Good! I remember your last sobriety. You can absolutely do it, come here and read and post - it works.

I agree with tomsteve, shame and guilt are overrated!

Just do the next right thing. Put some clean sheets on the bed. Fix some snacks and watch a little mindless TV.
__________________
The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea.
~ Isak Dinesen
biminiblue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
applewakesup (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), Outonthetiles (08-27-2017), tomsteve (08-26-2017), tursiops999 (08-26-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 06:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 
secretchord's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 428
Blog Entries: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Secretchord, I'm sorry you're struggling. It does seem to get harder each time, but you can make this the last time. We're here for you. I'm glad you dumped the wine and you can start on your Day 1. You can do this!
This has to be the last time. I can't do this again.
secretchord is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to secretchord For This Useful Post:
biminiblue (08-27-2017), DarklingSong (08-27-2017), determined99 (08-27-2017), Outonthetiles (08-27-2017), tomsteve (08-26-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 06:12 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by secretchord View Post
I'm ready. I have to be ready. First temptation or craving I'm coming here. That's what I did last time and it worked. I'm too shy for groups.
my nickname in high school was shyboy.
unless i had alcohol in me.
then when i got sober- working the program of AA- i learned i wasnt shy.
i had low self esteem , insecure, and fearfilled- i was certain other peoples' opinion of me wasnt quite the nicest of opinions.

theres other programs other than just AA,too.
__________________
all big book quotes from 1st edition
tomsteve is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (08-26-2017), Gottalife (08-26-2017), least (08-26-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), Outonthetiles (08-27-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 06:22 PM   #18 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 180,538
Blog Entries: 1
Hi secretchord

I really believe alcoholism is a progressive condition, each time we go back it's harder to get off again. Hard is not the same as impossible though

It all starts with a day one - again not fun, not easy - but achievable.

there's tons of support here - and maybe see your Dr if you're worried bout withdrawals?
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
applewakesup (08-27-2017), DarklingSong (08-27-2017), least (08-26-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 07:20 PM   #19 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New York - Catskill Mtns.
Posts: 39,061
I agree that it's harder each time we start over. I had 3 yrs. once & went back out. That was the worst time of my life, & I almost didn't make it back from the brink. I felt like you do, secretchord - It had to be the last time - and it was. I have almost 10 yrs. So it can be done - and you're going to do it.
__________________
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

Hevyn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
applewakesup (08-27-2017), DarklingSong (08-27-2017), Dee74 (08-26-2017), least (08-26-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2017)
Old 08-26-2017, 09:57 PM   #20 (permalink)
Member
 
Jules714's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
It definitely did get harder to recover each time. Withdrawling became significantly more severe. I would talk to your doctor about withdrawl meds as it can be very dangerous.
After my last relapse I just felt more done with it than ever before. I knew, like you said, I could not do that again. I would die.
That's the awful part about marinating yourself with a depressant like alcohol, it leaves you feeling so helpless that you don't care if you live or die. Or at least I did not. Now I do. It's work, but it's so much better than feeling that way.
GL,
Jules
Jules714 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Jules714 For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (08-27-2017), Dee74 (08-26-2017), mnjen (08-27-2017), Outonthetiles (08-27-2017)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:44 PM.