Going to AA tonight
 

My old sponsor rang me and since I am really struggling I decided to meet her at a meeting. What have I got to lose? Better than sitting around being manipulated by my man friend and ending up drunk again. I will try to keep an open mind this time. At least I can turn up in shabby clothes and not be judged. Not ready for the 12 steps yet though.

Sounds like a good idea sweetichick, hope you have a good meeting.

I'm glad she called and I'm glad you're going sweetichick :)

D

I think AA is the only hope for me.

JUST GO- keep an open mind. Good for you.

Should I really go? Have had so many bad experience s with AA.

Sounds to me that you were up for it til fear let that old AV of yours kick in.

What's the worst that can happen?
What's the best that could happen?

I reckon your AV's got more to worry about that you have.

BB

That made me laugh. Thanks Berrybean.

Good.

I'm not sure what your bad experiences were - is it the same meeting you're going to? Is there a chance that your reaction to whatever happened last time was more a reflection of where you were personally and how you were coping / not coping with stuff than on the event itself? (NO judgement here honestly as like I say I have no idea what happened - I do know though how terribly, terribly over-sensitive and 'raw' I was when I was first sober and I could - and did- take all kinds of stuff the wrong way, and thinkgs that weren't really anything to do with me I percieved as being a slight. So a grumpy old-timer being his usual grumpy self would have been percieved as me as 'They hate me and don't want me there'. Someone who was distracted by their own thoughts and worries who didnt make eye contact would have given me the same reaction. But maybe that isn't the kind of thing you mean.)

Anyway. If your sponsor is there with you I'm sure it will be fine. Remember: Men stick with the men, women with the women; Listen for the similarities not the differences; and it's perfectly okay to not share.

BB

Hey Berry. My bad experience was actually years ago. I met up with a girl there who just pretended to be sober, stole my partner and then told lies about me. She stole clothes and money off me as well. Really bad. She is gone now. Drinking herself to death. It's very sad. Ever since then I have been confused about AA. Never made it fully back. AA saved my life years ago. Would love to go back but have lost my trust.

I would suggest that you read the 12 traditions and seek understanding of them. They are what protects us from each other in AA. Often said tongue in cheek but it's also true. There is no reason to let anyone into your home, or near your partner, or lend them anything. Honestly. Keep it simple. and that included AA relationships. Just keep yourself safe. Anyone who expects anything different from you is probably best avoided anyway.

Stick with that sponsor of yours. And the old timers. The winnersthough - the ones that look like AA actually makes for a happy life for them.

BB

Finally- FINALLY- it was just that, for me. And it works, for me. I am glad you are going (went?) and hope you will give it a legit try and some time to sink in- I have found a new way of life and it is better than anything I could have imagined.

I met up with a girl there who just pretended to be sober, stole my partner and then told lies about me. She stole clothes and money off me as well. Really bad. She is gone now.

that is not an AA problem. that is a people problem and lack of boundaries problem.

and it was years ago.

if you go and dive into the program, read the BB, attend step meetings, and work the steps to the best of your ability, you will get what AA is really about. it's not a social club. or a place to go for free coffee.

the trust you lost wasnt in AA but in yourself.
might be wise that iffen AA saved your life before to work the program now ? might just stop ya from existing and make it possible for ya to start living.

I've come back into the AA three weeks ago. I didn't like the first few meetings but felt obliged to attend. Now I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow's meeting, funnily enough. Oh and by the way it keeps me sober.

As you said earlier, what do you have to lose?