How do I do this?
 

Where do I even begin?
Alcohol has caused me so many problems since I started drinking when I was 16. 12 years ago. I estimate that I have probably been drunk over 1,000 times that's probably over 10,000 hours of my life that I do not remember. I black out when I'm drunk and do the most embarrassingly shocking things. Things I wouldn't even dream of doing or saying when sober. I don't wake up every day and need a drink and I drink 'socially' whatever that means so to society this kind of behaviour is completely accceptable and most of the time laughable. However my issue is the fact that I don't seem to be able to say no or stop in these social situations. I have a 9 month old baby now and I am failing him when I am hungover. I never drink when he is in my presence only when he is with my mother and safe. But I am prioritising drinking with my husband over spending time with him and this has to stop. The hangovers I get are terrible. But I just don't know where to begin. How do I say no? How do I remind myself that this is not what I want? How do I not get sucked back in by my husband/ friends. Everything we do is always involving alcohol.

How do I do this?

Hi, you will get lots of support here, its not easy but not much in life is, can you see your doctor or start with AA meetings, think of all the lovely things you could be doing with your baby, alcohol just ruins everything, wishing you all the very best and well done for actually wanting to stop good luck

Welcome, you will find a lot of support here.

I am sill new on this site as you will see from my join date. Several members mentioned a book called "This Naked Mind, Control Alcohol". It costs the same as a couple of bottles of wine. It arrived on Friday and I've read three quarters of it already. You might find it interesting with respect to your statement, "Everything we do is always involving alcohol."

Do join the August 2017 class. Just post hello in there and you will be welcomed with open arms (well open keyboards actually but you know what I mean).

Hi and welcome Rushi :)

I started with a day one and went from there. That's not meant to be a wise guy answer - I started on say one, I used the heck out of the support here and I went from there.

All of those what iofs you've face them when you face them - but you won;t face them alone - post and read as much as you need to - ask for help and sometimes give some help or even just a sympathetic ear, to someone else :)

If you're worried about withdrawal, it's always best to see a Dr - they can check out your vitals etc :)

Your lifetime journey starts now :)

D

Rush, welcome! You've found a place where people can help with your questions. Yes sobriety is possible. Yes getting sober to become the best parent you can be is the right answer ( and it is my motivation for sobriety). And yes, if you have decided you are ready to work on leaving alcohol behind, you've found a wonderful community to help you with that. Be here, post often, read, learn and post before you drink so you can succeed with the support of all of us. Welcome!

Thanks mummyto2. What you said about thinking of all the lovely things I could do with my baby has really hit home. I didn't think of using that to spur me on!! I need to remind myself daily of all the things this addiction robs me of and all thI anxiety it creates. I hope you had a good nights rest.

Hello, thanks so much for your response. I will order the book. For me it's not about getting trapped in the same cycle of it all. My friends/ family are all addicted and all cope in different ways and it's such the norm. I need to find ways to
a. Remind myself that even though I'm constantly surrounded by alcohol this is not what I want for myself anymore and
b. That I can cope without it it only I gave myself a chance. Let me know how you get on with the rest of the book and perhaps we can discuss it further? Take care.

Hey simplyfree. Thanks for your advice in how to use the forums. What a great way to think that I can have a community where I can post if and when I am tempted. Lots of my family and friends will not understand as they will say things like'but you're so much fun when you're drunk' but I am loosing so much of my precious life to this and as you know it does not fit in with looking after a baby when you're filled with anxiety or being sick from a binge session. And to think of all the money I could save and spend on my son through not buying alcohol. I look forward to seeing your posts and perhaps we can catch up more parent to parent. Thanks.

Hello! Thanks so much for your post. A life time journey being sober sounds like such a healthy choice to make. But for some reason it feels like such a long one, don't you think? Do you find it easier to think of it as a life time or getting through the day/ hour? Sorry, just picking your mind so I can begin to think in a healthier way. Hope you have a good day!

In the beginning forever was too much for me to comprehend, yeah.

So I committed to staying sober today - and I backed that up every morning with another commitment...

the object wasn't 'I'll stay sober today and see about tomorrow' - it was 'I can stay sober for 24 hours, cos I've done that before'.

After a while tho...with a string of days behind me, forever didn't seem so scary anymore.

I have no problems with forever now.
I'll die this way, thanks :)

D

Thanks for your reply. I like the way of thinking I can get through the next 24 hours I've done this before. I am filled with dread of visiting my inlaws and them asking why I'm not even having one glass of wine. But I will hopefully have the strength to say I'm just not or I can think of something else perhaps.
All the best for today.

You don't have to have an excuse to not dink wine. You just say no thanks. Will they ask you why you don't want salt and vinegar on your chips? No.
If you like say you prefer to keep a clear head for the baby. They can't doubt that.

I've found no is pretty much a complete sentence.

Initially I thought I needed to go into some great essay on why I wasn't drinking - I assumed everyone found drinking as important as I did- but that wasn't the case.

'No thanks, but I'll have a water/juice/coke/cup of tea/whatever' is basically all I've needed to say over the past decade of not drinking :)

D

It's the hardest SIMPLE thing you've ever done.

How do you do it?

SIMPLE - you decide to.

Then you follow through with that decision, by ACTING on it.

You DECIDE you will embrace sobriety and bring about unimaginable improvements in your life.

Then you take ACTIONS - like getting support, changing your habits, embracing life in new and sober ways.....

And you do it again, ONE DAY AT A TIME.... sometimes even one moment at a time.

And from there, with resolve, action, trust, commitment and the right community and tools.... it gets better, and better, and better and better....

Welcome.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

:grouphug:

Join the August 2017 recovery group and log on here everyday. Spend a lot of time reading on this site. Many people venture out beyond this website to get face to face support in their community. For me, that was AA but there are other options as well.