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Survived a night out!

Old 08-18-2017, 05:52 PM
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Survived a night out!

As I mentioned before, I had a dinner planned for tonight that we had made reservations for over a month ago.

Normally I would have ordered a glass of wine or a mixed drink and the cravings would have been so bad I would have gone to the bar alone after or had some alcohol at home to drink. But I told my friend I really didn't want to drink and asked her to help me make the right choices. I ordered a bottle of sparkling water with some lemon and lime and it felt like a refreshing spritzer.

I'm home now and sober. Ready to shower and get a good night's sleep for work tomorrow. It'll be the first Saturday I work without a hangover. Incredible, isn't it? Having a drink seems repulsive to me right now, and I'm hoping the trend continues.

How's everyone else's weekend starting out? What other methods do you use to stay clean when going out? That's the part that makes me the most nervous, but I don't wanna isolate myself from my friends.

Happy Friday guys! I feel better than I have in a long time.
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Old 08-18-2017, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by dpac414 View Post
What other methods do you use to stay clean when going out?
I didn't go out, at least not to any alcohol centric gatherings. Not until I felt stronger in my sobriety. I wasn't worried about isolating myself. My drinking was doing that for me.
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Old 08-18-2017, 06:51 PM
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I stayed away from places where alcohol was involved for quite a few months until I felt comfortable. I'm glad it went well for you.
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Old 08-18-2017, 06:58 PM
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I have to echo Carl and Anna. I had to build a solid foundation before venturing out anywhere alcohol was served.

Having said that, always have an escape plan in place just in case.

I'm glad you had a nice evening out, dpac414.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:00 PM
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Me too...I've been really protective of my sobriety. Going to places where I might be tempted to slip isn't an option for me still at this stage in my recovery.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:21 PM
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The issue is that currently, several of my friends help normalize alcoholic behavior, which is what helped lead me here in the first place.

Quick answer? Find new friends. But it's not that easy. I've really been cutting back on social events and I find myself sitting at home a lot, because it's easier to stay away from temptation that way, as long as I don't buy a bottle on the way home from work.

Idk. I know the real solution is to be honest with my friends about my problem and ask them to understand, but I'm embarrassed. I feel like we all joke about being alcoholics but now that I realize I am one, I'm afraid to tell them.

lol, things are never easy, are they.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:51 PM
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People quit drinking for tons of reasons. If you feel embarrassed, you can simply say you're trying to get healthy and decided to cut out alcohol. Both are true, and you can share when or if you want at a later date.

I know it's difficult right now. One day at a time.
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Old 08-18-2017, 08:34 PM
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I stayed away from any and all alcohol related events for a whole year. I took no prisoners and didnt care what people thought. My good friends are all very supportive and now i am in a very good place, so i dont mind being at a BBQ with drinking now. I still wont go to a bar, mainly because i think it would be really boring anyways: granted im 43y/o married with 3 kids, so im bogged down nightly regardless.
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Old 08-18-2017, 11:12 PM
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I'm another one who stayed away - I'm glad I did.

Many times I successfully stayed sober at one event only to fall at another.
Congrats - but stay vigilant

D
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Old 08-19-2017, 12:52 AM
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I do a lot of cooking at home and decline invitations to meals where other people are going to be drinking. The only reason for that is because although I've generally had pretty good sobriety recently, when I have slipped, it's been following meals with friends or business contacts where alcohol has been flowing. I felt I didn't want to miss out. Better to avoid the temptation, for me.
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Old 08-19-2017, 01:10 PM
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It was the aftermath of an event that got me to have a little relapse. Seeing drinking occur, and it was my favourite poison planted a seed in my head that I could moderate and why can't I drink normally. 2 days after the event I drank. I had close to 9 months sober at the time
I guard my sobriety fiercely now.
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Old 08-19-2017, 02:51 PM
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Originally Posted by dpac414 View Post
The issue is that currently, several of my friends help normalize alcoholic behavior, which is what helped lead me here in the first place.

Quick answer? Find new friends. But it's not that easy. I've really been cutting back on social events and I find myself sitting at home a lot, because it's easier to stay away from temptation that way, as long as I don't buy a bottle on the way home from work.

Idk. I know the real solution is to be honest with my friends about my problem and ask them to understand, but I'm embarrassed. I feel like we all joke about being alcoholics but now that I realize I am one, I'm afraid to tell them.

lol, things are never easy, are they.
why be embarrassed about addressing alcoholism? it youre friends have a problem with you addressing the problem, then they have a problem.

theres a difference between drinking buddies, friends, and true friends.

please have no expectations of them understanding. hopefully they do, but that may not be the case.if youre friends say anything negative about it, then their true colors will show and show how good of friends they really are.
its more important for you to understand and know that sometimes changes are necessary to get and stay sober and some of those changes are difficult to make.
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Old 08-19-2017, 02:58 PM
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My mom came home tonight after ONE beer and the smell of it took me right back to my drinking days (mentally speaking) maybe it's best to say clear of any places or events where alcohol is involved for a while.....just until you have steady ground under your feet

With that being said I'm very proud of you for not drinking
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Old 08-19-2017, 03:03 PM
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At the end of every Friday meeting the group leader asks what they're doing over the weekend, and we give suggestions to one another as to how to remain sober.

I'm thinking going to a dear friend's birthday party where people will be drinking. I'm kind of on the fence, I haven't seen her or her sister in months.

I plan to limit my time to about an hour, and leave sooner if I feel triggered .
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Old 08-19-2017, 03:07 PM
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3 tings i have in place before attending ANY event where theres alcohol:
1- the right motive
2- fit spiritual condition
3- an escape route.
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Old 08-19-2017, 04:37 PM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
why be embarrassed about addressing alcoholism? it youre friends have a problem with you addressing the problem, then they have a problem.

theres a difference between drinking buddies, friends, and true friends.

please have no expectations of them understanding. hopefully they do, but that may not be the case.if youre friends say anything negative about it, then their true colors will show and show how good of friends they really are.
its more important for you to understand and know that sometimes changes are necessary to get and stay sober and some of those changes are difficult to make.
I know this is true, but I'm scared anyway. If my friends ditch me over wanting to remove alcohol from my life (I'd like to think them better than that but it's still a fear) then I really will have no one. I rely on my friends for support in many other aspects in my life and it's hard to imagine how well I could do without it.

But trying to white-knuckle it through dinners and going out isn't the best option either and makes things harder than they need to be.

Ugh. I think I'll eventually work up to telling maybe a few more, and then make a sort of announcement in a group chat. Conveniently, the friend who is the biggest enabler (and more than likely an alcoholic herself) is moving at the end of the month, so at least that will be one negative influence gone. She's the type who would get mad about my decision, so I don't feel bad about her leaving.

You guys are always right even if I don't want to hear it, haha.
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