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Facing Reality

Old 08-17-2017, 07:29 PM
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Facing Reality

I stumbled across this forum today. I am five days sober and I guess I really didn't realize how hard this would be.

I'm not sure exactly what caused me to finally realize that I had an abuse problem, but it might have been the fact that I drank 2 handles of vodka in 2 weeks plus a 15 pack of beer somewhere in between. It also might have been when I wanted to get home earlier and earlier from work so I could start drinking. Or maybe when the only way I could get anything done around the house was by drinking first.

So I'm done with that. I'm done feeling like garbage every day. I'm done doing everything hungover. I'm done forgetting hours of every day. I'm done killing myself.

I haven't told anyone except one friend that I was doing this, and I framed it in a way that made it seem less than it was. I feel like I can't tell my family or anyone else, so I'm kind of doing this on my own and I've been doing pretty good so far? I'm really glad I found this site though; all of the posts have been so uplifting and inspiring so I really feel like I can do it. I'm also looking into meetings at my local church.

One thing that's really hard for me to swallow is the idea of never drinking again, and I think that's something I need to accept if I'm going to be okay. I keep asking myself what about drinking and being drunk is so great, and I always come up with nothing, so I'm using that to fuel the fire. I have a mantra of all the positive things these last five days have brought to help me when I feel like I want to drink.

This got away from me a bit, but I'm glad I found this site and I'm glad to be here. Soon I'll be one week!
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Old 08-17-2017, 07:44 PM
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Welcome. Congrats on 5 days! It is very hard, but it gets better.
It is daunting to think you can never drink again. I look at it as I learned from sober friends...it's just today. Tomorrow it will just be about that day. Takes some pressure off.
GL,
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Old 08-17-2017, 07:51 PM
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Hi, welcome to SR, im newly sober too...just over 3 wks. This is my 2nd attempt at sobriety.
I struggled the 1st time with the thought of not drinking, this time it isnt in my mind at all.
You'll get good days & bad days & on those bad days just come here to read & post. We all know what ur going through.
Good luck!!
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:59 PM
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Hi and welcome dpac
I found the idea of never again was more palatable with support to lean on - I think you will too

D
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Old 08-18-2017, 01:48 AM
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Welcome , fantastic on 5 days , keep going
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Old 08-18-2017, 03:56 AM
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Thanks guys! Something I've noticed is that the days seem really long--this has been the longest week of my life.

But that's good because it means I'm not losing time by being drunk. I'm actually living everyday instead of just existing.

I'm a little worried because I'm going to a restaurant with friends tonight (we've had this planned for weeks) and I'm hoping I can kick whatever temptation happens. The friend I told about quitting will be there so I'm hoping she can help me if I need it.
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:27 AM
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I do not know about you, but for me it is not just 1 drink or 2. It is saying screw this and drinking 6-7 till I pass out once I start. That first drink is the key. If you do not pick up that first one, the regret does not follow the next day.

It is hard at first, yes the days seem long, but it is so worth it. Keep reading and posting. As to the dinner tonight, I understand you feel you need to go, but I stayed away from anywhere I would be tempted early on.
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:39 AM
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Welcome to SR! Glad you found us! Have a plan for the restaurant tonight. Plan on ordering your favorite non-alcoholic beverage. Flavored water, juice, soda, etc. Plan on being fun to be around as a sober person. You may be fighting inside but, be a positive person . Step away if you feel tempted. Maybe go for a short talk with your friend who knows about your desire to be sober. You always can leave is the pressure gets to be too much. In time you will learn how strong you can be and alcohol will not contol you. You can do this!
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