Serper2014

As some of you may know, I'm working on my doctorate and I've been struggling quite a bit for a few years. I finally told my mentors, boss, program director, and coworkers etc. that I'm an alcoholic. Some of them were very shocked and couldn't believe that I was able to get this far in school while drinking. Other's said that it made sense because my performance has been on a decline for awhile. I told themthat I need to postpone the completion of my degree (there was a lot of pressure on me to finish by August and I wasn't able to because... well you already know why). They are granting me a semester medical leave. I have health insurance and I want to go to rehab and finally concentrate full-time on recovery for 90 days. I have a very bright future ahead, but I won't have anything if I can't shake this. Of course now I am reading everything that I can about rehab, but at the same time all of the websites, are essentially advertisements to get you to go to their rehab. I was just curious if anyone had any moments of "I wish someone would have told me X about rehab" before I go in. I'm not dependent on alcohol, just addicted to it, so I won't need a detox. I'm also an Atheist, think Hitchens or Harris level of Atheism. I would even go as far to say that I'm anti-theist -- meaning that I'm glad religions are man made and don't represent the reality of our universe because if they did, this place would be much worse. I know of SMART and that seems great for me after rehab, but I'm curious if anyone has any rehab tips or has been to or knows of any rehabs that are not religious at all. Or finally, if anyone has any tips on getting through rehab. I have no idea what it's going to be like...

ChloeRose63

Go with an open mind. You will learn alot about yourself and you must be accepting that it may come as a surprise what you hold deep down inside.

tomsteve

ditto.
a great time to open your mind to ANYTHING.
humility is teachability and very valuable.
listen to everything.
would be wise to not have any feelings of uniqueness,too.

it would be wise to have no expectations,too.
other than help to learn how to live life on lifes terms- to fill up the tool kit for when ya get out.

Jules714

Hi. First off I honestly got excited, chills and all, for you. This is great news!!
I've been to 2 rehabs and they could not be more different. Health insurance is key. Plan to make a hefty deposit depending on your insurance if in the US. And to bargaining for most days possible.
I completely concur, just be as open minded as possible. There is no way anyone can articilate the experience. Bring a journal.
Good luck!!
Jules

nez

I am not anti-theist. I am not pro-theist. Today, I can learn from religious literature. I can learn from the literature of William Shakespeare. Open mindedness was absolutely essential to my recovery, and continues to be to this day.. I was extremely closed minded and stubborn when I first sought recovery. It took a few years of continued alcoholic hell before I became teachable. Don't be me.

andyh

good luck in finding a secular/non-12-step rehab, they seem to be very thin on the ground (at least here in the UK).

if you're going in for 90 days, find out what freedoms you get at what stage. I've done a few rehabs over the years & it can vary a lot. one place let patients out on their own after after a couple of weeks which was helpful (to me) as I could come into contact with real-life triggers in a controlled way & then process them in a safe place before being dumped out into the real world. another place kept patients pretty much locked up for the full four week term & I was climbing the walls (not literally) for the last week, as well as not having any chance to acclimatise myself to reality before leaving.

good luck wherever you choose!

Dee74

I think this is a good move Serper.

I don't know of any registry of non 12 step centres. Others may.

SAMHSA doesn't appear to have non 12 step as a search criteria.
https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

but that may be a start to see whats around where you live.

I've also seen links to non 12 step centres in the paid advertising on this sites front page. If nothing else that may be a starting point.

D

loulou1981

Really pleased ur taking this step, good luck

BlownOne

Gottalife

Keep an open mind and don't expect too much. A rehab can get you sober by providing a sheltered environment where it is much easier not to drink. It can help you work through some issues and it can give you some pointers on how to live sober. Rehab and or hospitalization can, in many cases, be the only way an alcohol.ic can get there head clear enough to embark on a sober life.

There is one thing rehab cannot do. It cannot keep you sober for good and it will tell you that. Sobriety will depend on how you love your life post rehab and whether or not you can acquire the power to stay away from the fatal first drink.

Any fool can stop drinking. I did it thousands of times. Staying stopped is a different story. That is why it is so important to keep an open mind on whatever the rehab suggests as a follow up to their program.

My rehab experience is a good example of what not to do. I quickly learned the expected things to say, and how to behave so that they wouldn't spend time delving into my issues. I becam e the blue eyed boy and was made ward host. I was finding it easy to stay sober there, and had quite a lot of fun. I didn't buy the AA idea because it went over my head, I missed the point. Came time to leave I got very frightened, realizing I hadn't done anything to change myself. I persuaded them to keep me for another few weeks.

Then I was out, determined to rely on human power, my own and my friends, to stay sober. I quickly found I had no real friends, and was left to my own devices. I lasted maybe three months, a time of total misery, and then returned to my old solution.

But, you see, I was in the majority. Only two of our group of ten went to AA ( and they didn't seem godly types to me). They are still sober today. Within a year I was in a minority. I was the only one of the other eight who was still alive. So I joined the other minority, joined AA, and never drank again.

I was 21 in the rehab, 22 when I got to AA and it was around my 23rd birthday that my life changed forever.

esinger

About 90% of rehabs are 12 step orientated. Even if they don't advertise as such they probably are. It's an easily accessible ready made curriculum. Mine threw in some acupuncture, yoga, dance therapy, hypnosis, and some Tony Robbins style rah! rah! training along with the daily twelve step doctrine. You were magically cured in 28 or 90 days what ever your insurance would pay. One therapist used a little Albert Ellis CBT training and that sort of made sense. The one good thing was it got me away from my mess of a life for a while and dried me out so I could make sense of things.
Do your research. Read reviews and not the ones on the rehabs website. Call them with your questions about their curriculum. Ask them about the living arrangements and the rules. It sounds like you still have your wits about you so be your own advocate and do your research. Or you can do like I did and say "I'll just go there. The weather looks great!"
What ever you choose, Good Luck!

Serper2014

Thanks for everyone that gave advice. I will keep an open mind even in the 12-step stuff, there may be ways to wrap my head around it, by substituting "god" with "universe" or something similar. Either way, I don't think I'm going to get a chance to do this twice, so I will go in, listen and learn everything I can. It's a bit exciting actually, almost like going to college where your only responsibility is to learn-- and if there is one thing I am good at, it's learning. I have no problem being around alcohol. I haven't drank in front of anyone in 2 years. My problem seems to be when I'm alone, stressed or anxious. I will use. Alcohol used to be the biggest problem, but now, it's more caffeine and nicotine. If they sold cocaine at the 24 gas station I would have a cocaine problem. At some point, I learned "Serper feels bad" and if Serper takes this substance he will immediately feel better without correct whatever is making him feel bad. I saw some ads for luxury rehabs and I started laughing. The last thing I want to do is be surrounded by luxury while I'm doing this. I need to be stressed and anxious. I need the program to stress me out and push me. I don't know how they will accomodate that. Maybe I could have extra worksheets or sessions, try to cram the amount of work in a 90 day program into a 60 day program. I need to practice getting upset, being alone and getting stressed in a controlled environment because that is my trigger.

Serper2014

Any weird rules that you have heard of or experienced?

MindfulMan

Mine had little phone (pay phones only), no cel phones or internet access. I got used to it after a few days. Not all rehabs do this, and it's largely over privacy concerns due to phone cameras.

tomsteve

keep it simple.
extremely weird for a complicated thinker.
but sure is a good thing.

ChloeRose63

I slept the first few days. They monitored me because I was detoxing. That was conforting because I could stop worrying about my health. But, I was extremely anxious. Soon after I got into the routine I began really understanding that I was a mess when it came to handling stressful situations. My only solution was to self-medicate. The 'problem' was numbed and therefore 'gone'...how foolish. When I realized I could ask for help and accepted help I was on my way to getting a better grip on handling stressful situations. Good luck to you!

Ultramarathoner

Approaching the experience with a sense of intense curiosity may be a way to "push" yourself.

As a fantastic "learner," perhaps framing this opportunity as a chance to both learn- and grow- may be effective.

Anna

I hope it goes well, Serper.

Algorithm

You may want to look into Saint Jude Retreats, which you can easily find via Google by clicking on my link. They are in Amsterdam, New York, and may suit you better than many 12-Step rehabs.

That said, Gottalife has covered the shortcomings of rehab rather well, and I agree wholeheartedly. Yes, I do have 'experience' with 12-Step rehab, though I don't personally care much for 'qualifying' per se.

You may also want to look into Rational Recovery, which doesn't make use of groups or treatment. They teach a method based on the experience of the self-recovered population, called AVRT. It may suit your orientation, since religious and spiritual beliefs are not pre-requisites.

axeman5971

Serper - we are a TON alike. I am high functioning, not dependent, but addicted, and an atheist. I skipped detox after a week (minus one day) of sobriety. I joined an evening intensive outpatient program 2 weeks ago. It's 3 hours, 3 nights a week, for 3 months. They're also asking for 2-3 meetings per week.

It is definitely rooted in 12 step programs, and there's some capital g god in there for sure. Some of the guest speakers are into religion. Some are not. Many of the members of my group are not, and we have debates and discussions about the "higher power" or "god as you understand him." Oh, and don't get me started on the "him" stuff either - they're trying to act like Oh, it can totally be any higher power, but it's a male deity, if you were curious. It can be done without that belief. You can find meaning in many of the other elements of it.

I find the value in connecting with like minded individuals. Opening up. Listening. I couldn't do it on my own, despite thinking I could because I am intelligent - but not when it comes to alcohol, so I am trying everything that's recommended to me by professionals and those who have been in the program before.