Friend is using heroin
 

Hi there! I just found out the my "best friend" is using heroin. She is married and has an eight year old daughter. Her daughter told me, when I picked her up from school, that mommy had something tied around her arm and was sticking a needle in her arm. I told her dad about it and he has known this has been going on. They are middle class and both have jobs but my friend has been addicted to pain pills for quite a while. Well, she was a long time ago and I was told she stopped. She hasn't really talked to me in about 3 years but I always babysit their daughter and pretty much only deal with dad. I asked Dad what he was going to do about it and he said "what can I do? we are stuck. She has spent all of our money and where am I going to go?" I told him to come to our home, of course. I don't know what to do now. He has sworn me to secrecy but I can't just sit by and continue to watch this. Their 8 year old daughter has been in my husband and my life since she was born. She is everything to us and I feel like I need to protect her and get through to Dad's head. Please help.

Hi Hezzery - welcome.

It must be really hard for you to stand by and watch this but I'm not sure what steps you can take beyond actually talking to your best friend or, if you think the children are at risk or in danger, calling the authorities.

I do know that you'll find a lot of support and experience here.

D

Thank you! I have no idea what to do. You like to think the child is in no danger until that one split second and something happens. UGH...I am not supposed to say anything to my BF because her husband has sworn me to secrecy. Thank you for your comments. I just don't know where to turn.

If she is using around children, it's time to call Child Protective Services, or whatever it's called where you live.

Perhaps you could direct her husband to resources that might help him.

The Friends and Family subforum on here for example.
Nar-Anon groups and literature

You have made it clear to him that your family are happy to support him and his daughter. This might be important if your old bestie has a stint in rehab or if he needs extra child care favours to enable him to get to meetings and find the support he needs.

If your freinds is actually using in front of her daughter this is presuamably pretty far down the line - or her denial is such that she feels like nothing can touch her.

As a close family friend and experiencing the frustration of powerlessness and worry about this, you too might benefit from attending some Nar Anon meetings and listening to the eperience strength and hope shared by others who have walked this path ahead of you, and who are more likely to to know about local resources.

Do you think your freind would be likely to discuss this with you if you broached the subject in such a way that you were being caring and supportive, and asking if there is anything you can do to help her break out of this cycle? After all, it wasn't her husband who told you. Her little girl (in all innocence) mentioned what she had seen to you, and you put two and two together. Actually, it is only her who can make the decision to get clean, but knowing that a close friend knows, still loves her and is there if she wants to get out of it might be the thing that helps her to realise that recovery is a real possibility. She may not even realise that her daughter saw her - the shame of this might be a motivating force.

Prayers going out for your friend and her family and the others affected by this situation. It is very sad.

BB

This is awful!
I don't understand why the Dad feels he might have to go somewhere, it's the addict who needs to go to rehab. He should discuss that with her or tell her that he's calling child protective services.
It is traumatizing to that young child to see that and only a matter of time before she tells someone at school who will call CPS (they are mandated reporters) by telling you she is crying out for help.
I hope that you are able to get some help for all involved and absolutely everyone here will be in full support of you.
Best of luck,
Jules

theres a LOT he can do once he knows there are actions he can take. i m glad ya reached out, but theres a high probability you could end up with her illness in your house if you allow hubby and child to move there.
i strongly suggest you visit the F&F forum here and start a thread there.