Cant drop the guilt...
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1
Cant drop the guilt...
Hello! I have been addicted to opiates for over ten years. I finally got my life together but none of my loved ones believe me. I feel like I quit too late. I'm riddled with guilt and shame. I can't drop the feeling that I have lost everybody. It just seems li!e they love me,but no longer like me.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Beats 
You posted in the part of the site for jokes and stuff so I thought you'd find more response here
I think when you have broken trust issues it really takes a while for that to be regained, and usually action speaks louder than any words will?
After a while it became obviosuly to everyoen that I was not only trying to change but actually changing.
How long have you been clean?
D
You posted in the part of the site for jokes and stuff so I thought you'd find more response here
I think when you have broken trust issues it really takes a while for that to be regained, and usually action speaks louder than any words will?
After a while it became obviosuly to everyoen that I was not only trying to change but actually changing.
How long have you been clean?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Beats747 
Hello! I have been addicted to opiates for over ten years. I finally got my life together but none of my loved ones believe me. I feel like I quit too late. I'm riddled with guilt and shame. I can't drop the feeling that I have lost everybody. It just seems li!e they love me,but no longer like me.
years of having an active addict around, believing anything they say doesnt happen overnight. having faith and trust is earned by actions over time.
how long have you been clean? have you changed who you are or are ya still acting the same?
it took over a year before my family truly believed i was serious about staying clean and sober. i had put in a lot of footwork in workin on myself. they started seeing the changes- they started seeing the actions werent what they were used to.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 14
You didn't "quit too late". I don't think its ever too late.
I have never been addicted to opiates. However my best friend died almost a year ago. He overdosed on prescription opiates.
I do believe what others have stated; actions speak louder than words and it does take time.
Just stay positive and patient, your friends and family will come around.
I have never been addicted to opiates. However my best friend died almost a year ago. He overdosed on prescription opiates.
I do believe what others have stated; actions speak louder than words and it does take time.
Just stay positive and patient, your friends and family will come around.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Beats747
I'm riddled with guilt and shame.
2. What are you doing to get past that - because that doesn't sound like a fun person to hang out with.
Congrats on getting clean. Stay clean and keep working on being the best you possible. People will notice.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
You quit at the right time for you. No one outside of you can just your story. I'm sorry that your family doesn't believe you, but you can always come here and share your sobriety and achievements. We do understand.
Guilt is helpful because it reminds us that we can do better than we just did. But, shame is toxic and it will take you down.
Guilt is helpful because it reminds us that we can do better than we just did. But, shame is toxic and it will take you down.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 6
The time you quit is never too late, because it's better later than never.
It will take time though, for your loved ones to accept that you have stopped for good. The length of time that it will take to recover their trust is indeterminate, so you must try to be patient.
Guilt is an emotion to learn from and then move on, as in "I won't repeat the behaviour that gave rise to the guilt" But my experience of shame is that it was self-destructive. For me, shame served no purpose, other than to lead me to beat myself up mentally and then on the back of that negativism, drink more.
When I stopped drinking, I had to drop the heavy brick of shame which hung from my heart and dragged me down emotionally. This I did by focusing on the present, not the past. I concentrated on the fact I was doing the best I could NOW, by being a sober 'best version' of myself and hoping that, in time, bridges could be rebuilt with my loved ones. I'm almost a year sober and have already rebuilt trust, that I'd lost in some relationships.
You can do the same, it just takes time, try not to worry that it's too late. When you look back in the future, far more likely than not, it wasn't too late. Time is a great healer.
It will take time though, for your loved ones to accept that you have stopped for good. The length of time that it will take to recover their trust is indeterminate, so you must try to be patient.
Guilt is an emotion to learn from and then move on, as in "I won't repeat the behaviour that gave rise to the guilt" But my experience of shame is that it was self-destructive. For me, shame served no purpose, other than to lead me to beat myself up mentally and then on the back of that negativism, drink more.
When I stopped drinking, I had to drop the heavy brick of shame which hung from my heart and dragged me down emotionally. This I did by focusing on the present, not the past. I concentrated on the fact I was doing the best I could NOW, by being a sober 'best version' of myself and hoping that, in time, bridges could be rebuilt with my loved ones. I'm almost a year sober and have already rebuilt trust, that I'd lost in some relationships.
You can do the same, it just takes time, try not to worry that it's too late. When you look back in the future, far more likely than not, it wasn't too late. Time is a great healer.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It is never, ever, too late to quit!
Trust takes time to build. Keep working your recovery, and after a time of those actions, you will earn back their trust. You did not get there overnight, and it won't be earned back overnight.
Focus on what a great thing this is for YOU. You have saved your own life.
God Bless you and your recovery!
Trust takes time to build. Keep working your recovery, and after a time of those actions, you will earn back their trust. You did not get there overnight, and it won't be earned back overnight.
Focus on what a great thing this is for YOU. You have saved your own life.
God Bless you and your recovery!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
We all struggle with regret and lost time we cannot go back and "re-do" or re-gain. We have to keep moving forward. It is the only direction. In time, they will see your life for what it is from this day forward and hopefully what has happened in the past will recede..... That was the old you. There is a new you emerging that they will see by your actions. It's most important that you love yourself and learn to like the new you. Sure, they don't likely like the things you used to do...that's to be expected. But, like you have written: They love you. Surely that is something to be thankful for.
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