griffey84

One day two still with cold sweats headaches depression shakes and nausea went to my first AA Sunday yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought was afraid for no reason after all these years I appreciate all of your all's messages and inputs it is truly inspirational almost had a complete anxiety nervous breakdown at work started shaking uncontrollably in my hands have tried to quit for years it cost me everything two and a half years ago it cost me my fiance and the mother of my two children after 11 years and then two years ago by the grace of God my best friend and the woman I loved my whole life could never get out of my head come back to me after a year-and-a-half of her trying to help me get past this and the depression of her living 5 hours away and never getting to see her made it nearly impossible and Sunday she said that she couldn't see me like this or hear about me like this anymore in gracefully bow out out and I can understand why I have spent my whole life trying to quit for other people not knowing why I needed to until it hit me after the phone call with her Sunday that not once in my life not twiced but three or four times the drinking and the smoking pot in the past years ago has cost everything that I have ever loved or cared about and everything that I had worked so hard for but the more I think about it the harder it is to not go get a fifth of vodka and down it and just go to sleep sitting here alone feeling like I'm losing my mind but trying not knowing what to do the next meeting isn't until Wednesday and I lost the only person I could talk to there is anything anybody can suggest I would appreciate it thank you

Anna

Welcome, and you can talk to us, anytime. There's always someone here to listen.

The first few days are tough and you need to have faith that you can get through this and feel better. It's scary, but you can do it. This thread has lots of ideas and program suggestions:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

bexxed

It's tough at first. Take it a minute at a time if you have to. Did you get any phone numbers at the AA meeting?

griffey84

I didn't get any numbers wasn't quite sure what to do didn't have much of a chance to talk or anything I told my story only lasted an hour and everybody was quick to leave when they said it was over don't know how to get a sponsor or what that really is I am truly new to all of this I thought I could do it on my own all these years and have always failed

Dee74

Maybe there's more than one meeting in your area - if not, have you thought about online AA meetings Griffey?

Maybe do a quick Google search?

Next time you hit a meeting make sure you ask for help

D

Hevyn

Griffey, we promise it won't always feel like this. Once that poison is out of your system you'll begin to heal & think straight again. Be proud of yourself for taking the steps needed to reclaim your life.

griffey84

Thank you for your support and the kind words can't really find anything else local I can make it to going to try the online meetings that was suggested I like I said I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get my life back and Order and be there for my loved ones as I should have been all these years it just hurts with the thought of it it's like your heart being ripped out of your chest and stomped on but you realize the whole time you've been the one stomping all over it that all the pain and heartache I've brought upon myself and now I find myself lost and alone with no one to turn to no shoulder to cry on no one to put their arms around you and tell you it will be okay tonight is really hard just trying to concentrate on reading

tursiops999

Griffey, it really will be ok... it's hard at first because it's a leap of faith, the idea that you will feel so much better without alcohol in your life. The early days are tough, but you can do this. Stick here with us, we understand what you're going through.

heavencanwait

Things will start to improve. You will get past the worst part in the next couple of days. Detoxing is your body getting rid of the poison. Keep going....you can do this!

january161992

how are you today griffey ?

griffey84

Doing ok went the way I did yesterday to stay away from the liquor store but my nerves are shot and still have the shakes and headache not feeling as sick today but the depression is coming and going in intense waves just trying to do a lot of reading to try to keep my mind off of the urges than you for asking I just can't wait for this to pass

Dee74

Like others have said this is not the best it gets Griffey - hang in there...have faith

D