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Advice, back away from the ledge...

Old 08-13-2017, 02:53 PM
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Advice, back away from the ledge...

Hi everyone, glad I stumbled upon this site. Been drinking and drugging my whole life, been to out patient and AA stayed sober for 6 months, that was 18 months ago. Last 2 weeks it has been harder to control and I tell myself every morning this is the day I am going back into a program. I am becoming everything I swore would never be me, and my family is suffering because of it. Tired and depressed everyday. I hate everything about myself, feel totally worthless, paralyzed by fear to make any decision right now. I have this urge to change everything now, and it can only happen by getting and staying sober. I dislike my career path very much, and wish I would care less about appearances and take up a construction job and leave the corporate world until I can figure things out. Just wanting to hear from folks that have been at this very point and what they did to begin moving forward when every decision feels like a wrong one.
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Old 08-13-2017, 02:58 PM
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Welcome Kdz - great to have you with us.

I was helped tremendously by talking things over here - with people who really understood where I'd been, & what I was going through. I drank 30 yrs. You can imagine the state I was in before I quit. I'm so glad you are taking a hard look at what alcohol has done to your life, & how it's likely to affect your future. I was frozen too - and doing reckless, ridiculous things. As you said, getting sober and clearheaded is the only way for us. You can do this.
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Old 08-13-2017, 03:10 PM
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Kdz what jumped out at me was "paralyzed by fear". Yes that is how I and I suspect many others felt.
All I can really say is that I'd had enough. I was getting sicker and sicker. I knew I had to do something and that thing for me was to get my head on the pillow sober that night no matter what. Then the next night and the next etc etc. Nothing magic just that one simple non negotiable rule.
This site is amazing and I'm thrilled you've found us. Try checking out the class of August 2017 and the 24 hour thread as a great start.
Loads of great supportive kind people.
Above all take care and look after yourself during the tough early days. You can do it!
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Old 08-13-2017, 03:43 PM
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Welcome Kdz55. I'm just renewing my sober journey, so I can't offer much sage advice, but I can offer support. Of course, there are many people here with years, if not decades, of sobriety, and I'm sure they will give you great advice. Also the search feature is a great resource. Just about every sobriety topic has been discussed at length on this site.

Welcome again, I hope you stick around.
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Old 08-14-2017, 01:50 AM
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Welcome aboard Kdz55

Read around as post as much as you like. Tons of support and good ideas here.

Changes happen

D
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Old 08-14-2017, 02:19 AM
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I came to sobriety very tempted to chuck the baby out with the bathwater as well. I was convinced that my job, relationships and life in general were all making me drink. When I went to AA I was told, don't make any major changes in the first year. Well, we were already waiting for the finalities on a house move, so I DID move house, but that change was already in the pipeline, and actually the AA meetings where I moved to were much more solution and program focussed than in my old city so that worked out well to be honest, plus I was removed from my old drinking people and places. But my career DID stay the same. I'm not going to say that it isn't stressful at times now, but after working the program, and continuing to so every day and applying it to my work life - I can now cope with the stress. It doesn't overwhelm me like it used to. It is rare for me to have those old stress dreams, or lay awake in the night going over and over things.

I will suggest to you the same as was suggested to me. Stay sober one day at a time. Get a sponsor. Work the 12-step program. Keep your side of the street clean and accept it when others don't do the same (usually we drink on what WE did, not what others did!!) Accept that we cannot control everything and sometimes life can be a bit rubbish. Accept that there will be times when you can't please everyone. Talk to your sponsor about the pressures of life, and they will talk you through how to accept life on lifes terms, and help you see how to deal with those situations, until one day you will find the promises have come true and you know instinctively how to deal with people and situations that would have eluded you before. This is a whole new way of thinking and living though. It cannot happen overnight.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
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