Jezzi

I woke up feeling that pit of doom which I haven't felt for 11 days. I feel like I could burst into tears at any second. I feel so DOWN. I just want to crawl into bed and bawl my eyes out.

I'm going to church instead, though. I'm really hoping something clicks while I'm there and I get to feeling better. I really don't want to feel like this the rest of the day.

Mummyto2

Sorry your feeling like that, emotions will be a bit of a roller coaster but remember it will pass, wishing you well

herculana

Jezzi, sweet heart...

Everything is going to be A okay. <3

Are you possibly PMSing?

Remember, too, there are MAJOR upheavals in the collective energy right now. We are also in-between major huge eclipses this month.

Its HUGE energy we are all having to process through.

Lay low today. Read things that uplift.

<3

herculana

Many if not most addicts are very empathic. Very finely wired.

It helps to understand that <3

decchemist

Jezzi

You have the same last drink day as me. Please stick with me. You know it makes sense.

nez

Whenever I start to get to a similar place, I reflect on how great it is that I get to feel all the emotions in the human being range. I no longer have to numb or hide from any of my emotions. I also don't have to let them run my life.

Jezzi

Thank you all for your kind words, they have helped.
Dec- No matter how sad I get today it is my solemn promise i will NOT drink. Another 24 and I'm sticking to that.
Herc - Idk if it's PMS...very well could be. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and when I'm tired my emotions tend to run high, this is just an amplified version. I didn't even consider the eclipse, that's a very good point.
Mum - You're so sweet, thank you.

Your support makes all the difference.

Jezzi

Nez - very true. I was actually thinking about how I haven't felt sadness like this, other than drunken induced cry fits, in a long time. I like looking at it from that angle.

PhoenixJ

Depression? Doc?

teaorcoffee

I like your quote Nez, if we don't attach ourselves too much to our thoughts, we allow them to move on.
Hope you feel better soon Jezzi, I reckon I don't always have great days, but I have much better days than I did when I was drinking.

incognition

I really hope this passes for you, Jezzi. 2 weeks is actually about when I started feeling the worst of my depression (which is pretty common in alcoholics, actually, and a lot of times we've just been covering it up and self-medicating by drinking). Hopefully, with more time sober this will pass.

Chilledice

All of this is so very common in early sobriety, you have done great in not drinking so pat yourself on the back and a little cry is ok now and then, it's a great stress relief!


Your gonna be just fine

mm1741

Hi Jezzi. I wanted to echo what others above said. IT WILL PASS!! I had some days in early sobriety where I just didn't even want to get out of bed. 'Doom' is a perfect word for it. SR helped a lot, and I had/have some people close to me that I can be candid with about my addiction struggles. The fact that you posted instead of drinking says a lot, and you should feel pride in that. Get through today. Even if you can't get yourself to do anything but lay in bed and read/post on SR, stay sober today. 11 days is awesome, by the way. You've definitely got both feet in the door at this point, so stick with it. The emotional roller coaster is really common for a little while after the physical stuff ends.

Keep posting! We are all here for you.

hellrzr

When you stopped drinking you took away your solution to dealing with life. What have you done to deal with that? If all you do is not drink than you will probably continue to feel like you do until you drink again and the cycle with continue. Working the program of AA can help you deal with this and find you a new solution to dealing with life. Please get to a meeting right away and start working with a sponsor so you can beat this and start enjoying life again!

Jezzi

Thank you all for your support. I survived the day, and sober at that! I started feeling a little better once I forced myself out of the house.

I am on a anti anxiety/depression med, but a very low dose. It may need some tweaking, I'm not sure. I have been to an AA meeting but have yet to find a sponsor. In the mean time I have been delving into my faith which seems to be helping get through some of these emotions. My faith and SR that is

Chilledice

AWESOME JOB, you felt rock bottom but you pushed through regardless....proud of ya

bexxed

I had days like that. It will pass. As addicts we think about quick fixes and really it's not quick. You drink for years, it takes some time for your chemistry to readapt.

You've got this. 24 at a time.

In gratitude

B

rainyengland

Great quote is that :-) ..I'm going to imagine a hole in back of my head and let them flow straight through when they get trapped

Dee74

Hi Jezzi - I wish recovery was like a straight line so that the farther we got a way from our last drink the better we felt but thats not the case in early recovery.

Just like in life where you have bad days and setbacks, there' are gonna be days when being sober is a trudge too, at least for a little while...

The really good thing is , it's just a bad day, not a bad week, month or year like it was when we were drinking

I hope tomorrow will be better for you

D