Loosing everything...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1
Loosing everything...
Im new to this site but i think it is a much needed step.
I have been drinking heavily (im talking either two bottles of wine or a bottle of vodka) almost every night for the past year and a half.
I often have woken up not remembering what i did, said or how i even fell asleep and its starting to really scare me. The worst parts are its now not only affecting my health but im hurting the people i love by doing this. My parents are truly horrified and worried and there have been times where they have found me either passed out or being so drunk i cant even walk.
This makes me so sad. At the same time i am also worried about myself which i dont think they really understand, i have tried so many things to help myself but seem to do well for a while but then slip right back into it.
Sometimes i dont even know why i am doing this.. other times i think its me not wanting to think about anything at all and it helps me forget certain things that have happend that i obviously refuse to face.
I feel extremley empty, alone and feel as though i cant even think anymore... and its terrifying.
The embaressment and shame i also feel makes me want to stop.. but drinking always feels like such a great escape which i know it shouldnt.
I this is the first night without touching a drink in 2 months and im determined for it to be my last.
I have been drinking heavily (im talking either two bottles of wine or a bottle of vodka) almost every night for the past year and a half.
I often have woken up not remembering what i did, said or how i even fell asleep and its starting to really scare me. The worst parts are its now not only affecting my health but im hurting the people i love by doing this. My parents are truly horrified and worried and there have been times where they have found me either passed out or being so drunk i cant even walk.
This makes me so sad. At the same time i am also worried about myself which i dont think they really understand, i have tried so many things to help myself but seem to do well for a while but then slip right back into it.
Sometimes i dont even know why i am doing this.. other times i think its me not wanting to think about anything at all and it helps me forget certain things that have happend that i obviously refuse to face.
I feel extremley empty, alone and feel as though i cant even think anymore... and its terrifying.
The embaressment and shame i also feel makes me want to stop.. but drinking always feels like such a great escape which i know it shouldnt.
I this is the first night without touching a drink in 2 months and im determined for it to be my last.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Welcome Amie
Please be so careful as you detox. It will be difficult but worthwhile so don't give in.
Do join the August class (just post hello). There are 66 people in the class of August all starting their trip to sobriety and you would be most welcome.
Please be so careful as you detox. It will be difficult but worthwhile so don't give in.
Do join the August class (just post hello). There are 66 people in the class of August all starting their trip to sobriety and you would be most welcome.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
Welcome Amie. Like you, my drinking had gotten out of control. The support offered by the kind folks here has been a big reason I have now been sober for 6 months.
It is hard at first, but if you stick with it the rewards are well worth the effort!
It is hard at first, but if you stick with it the rewards are well worth the effort!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Portsmouth, England
Posts: 818
Hi Amie.....and welcome.
I'm only on week 8...and like you I was drinking very heavily every day and night...sometimes 2 large bottles of vodka. Anything to escape my past.
I'm not going to lie....it's not easy...but it will be the greatest thing you ever do. Small baby steps to start.
I went cold turkey..but not recommended, as it can be very dangerous. If you can..get medical help or advice. Just start on not drinking...rest...eat healthy.. pamper yourself.
The past can wait to be dealt with when you feel stronger. One sober day at a time. Stay close. Post on here lots. Lots of love..xx Pebbles xx
I'm only on week 8...and like you I was drinking very heavily every day and night...sometimes 2 large bottles of vodka. Anything to escape my past.
I'm not going to lie....it's not easy...but it will be the greatest thing you ever do. Small baby steps to start.
I went cold turkey..but not recommended, as it can be very dangerous. If you can..get medical help or advice. Just start on not drinking...rest...eat healthy.. pamper yourself.
The past can wait to be dealt with when you feel stronger. One sober day at a time. Stay close. Post on here lots. Lots of love..xx Pebbles xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi. Welcome. I'm so glad you found us.
You are not losing anything more if you are now sober. I would echo concerns for detoxing that others have shared and urge you to seek medical support for that side of things. Even if just with your own GP, explaining what you have been drinking and that you want to stop. They may know of local support available to you.
The emotional and social side of coping without alcohol is dealt with through us working on our recovery and having the acceptance and willingness to understand that there is not a painless way to achieve fredom from this. It will cause a lot of discomfort in the early days - but these are positive pains - like birthing pains - they are testimony to growth.
I have found a lots of support in my local AA meetings, especially from the other women there. I always shied away from too intimite friendships with other women before - mostly because I truly believed that if they knew what I was REALLY like my acquaintences would ot like me or have anything to do with me. It has been such a relief to meet other people who share the same fears and frustrations as I have always secretly harboured. Those fellow alcoholics in recovery are a real blessing - like a clan that I never knew I belonged to.
I know things seem bleak right now. But this is not the end of something wonderful. It is the start.
I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. Please keep reading and posting.
BB
You are not losing anything more if you are now sober. I would echo concerns for detoxing that others have shared and urge you to seek medical support for that side of things. Even if just with your own GP, explaining what you have been drinking and that you want to stop. They may know of local support available to you.
The emotional and social side of coping without alcohol is dealt with through us working on our recovery and having the acceptance and willingness to understand that there is not a painless way to achieve fredom from this. It will cause a lot of discomfort in the early days - but these are positive pains - like birthing pains - they are testimony to growth.
I have found a lots of support in my local AA meetings, especially from the other women there. I always shied away from too intimite friendships with other women before - mostly because I truly believed that if they knew what I was REALLY like my acquaintences would ot like me or have anything to do with me. It has been such a relief to meet other people who share the same fears and frustrations as I have always secretly harboured. Those fellow alcoholics in recovery are a real blessing - like a clan that I never knew I belonged to.
I know things seem bleak right now. But this is not the end of something wonderful. It is the start.
I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. Please keep reading and posting.
BB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Posts: 467
Just read your post today. I hope you are doing OK. Getting sober is the best thing you can do for you! Everything else is secondary. Love yourself first. Everything else will eventually fall into place.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,663
Amie- determination and willpower- alone- did no help me enough. I need a regualr support system- and a plan to keep sober. So I saw a doc- full physical. I suggest that to go 'cold turkey' is unsafe- I got seizures. Rehab is a VERY good idea. A safe place to not only stop drinking- but work out the why's, what's and so on. To stop drinking- with a hangover or remorse or guilt is easy enough. But long term sobriety means changing how one thinks and acts.
I have a counsellor- to talk over every day stuff and how to deal with it. I see a psychologist, a guide to help ME change ME. No one will rescue someone from drowning who does not want to help themselves. AA meetings are free, people understand and they help me also.
Empathy and support to you. The first step is to ask for help. It is not a weakness, it shows courage and strength.
I have a counsellor- to talk over every day stuff and how to deal with it. I see a psychologist, a guide to help ME change ME. No one will rescue someone from drowning who does not want to help themselves. AA meetings are free, people understand and they help me also.
Empathy and support to you. The first step is to ask for help. It is not a weakness, it shows courage and strength.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Welcome to SR!
It sounds like you need outside help to beat this, your willpower is not going to be enough.
AA is available in most every community, and I would recommend trying that in addition to spending a ton of time on this website.
Have you considered an inpatient treatment center?
It sounds like you need outside help to beat this, your willpower is not going to be enough.
AA is available in most every community, and I would recommend trying that in addition to spending a ton of time on this website.
Have you considered an inpatient treatment center?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by 91Amie 
Im new to this site but i think it is a much needed step.
I have been drinking heavily (im talking either two bottles of wine or a bottle of vodka) almost every night for the past year and a half.
I often have woken up not remembering what i did, said or how i even fell asleep and its starting to really scare me. The worst parts are its now not only affecting my health but im hurting the people i love by doing this. My parents are truly horrified and worried and there have been times where they have found me either passed out or being so drunk i cant even walk.
This makes me so sad. At the same time i am also worried about myself which i dont think they really understand, i have tried so many things to help myself but seem to do well for a while but then slip right back into it.
Sometimes i dont even know why i am doing this.. other times i think its me not wanting to think about anything at all and it helps me forget certain things that have happend that i obviously refuse to face.
I feel extremley empty, alone and feel as though i cant even think anymore... and its terrifying.
The embaressment and shame i also feel makes me want to stop.. but drinking always feels like such a great escape which i know it shouldnt.
I this is the first night without touching a drink in 2 months and im determined for it to be my last.
I have been drinking heavily (im talking either two bottles of wine or a bottle of vodka) almost every night for the past year and a half.
I often have woken up not remembering what i did, said or how i even fell asleep and its starting to really scare me. The worst parts are its now not only affecting my health but im hurting the people i love by doing this. My parents are truly horrified and worried and there have been times where they have found me either passed out or being so drunk i cant even walk.
This makes me so sad. At the same time i am also worried about myself which i dont think they really understand, i have tried so many things to help myself but seem to do well for a while but then slip right back into it.
Sometimes i dont even know why i am doing this.. other times i think its me not wanting to think about anything at all and it helps me forget certain things that have happend that i obviously refuse to face.
I feel extremley empty, alone and feel as though i cant even think anymore... and its terrifying.
The embaressment and shame i also feel makes me want to stop.. but drinking always feels like such a great escape which i know it shouldnt.
I this is the first night without touching a drink in 2 months and im determined for it to be my last.
Might be worth a try?
M-Bob
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