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-   -   14 days and I blew out the candle (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/414261-14-days-i-blew-out-candle.html)

DaisyBlueNew 08-11-2017 04:33 PM

14 days and I blew out the candle
 
I have been following all the amazing folk on here for two weeks ... there are many that have been here for over 10 years. This site is truly amazing and I find if I wake up and read the posts I feel stronger every day. However today I decided to do something different. I went to my beer store to buy beer "in case" I felt like drinking it later. My boyfriend is away for a week and I haven't been drinking or anything and he is coming back tomorrow so I wanted a window of me time. I went to the beer store and bought 8 beers. I thought to myself "well I don't have to drink them" and then i bought them and as I was walking out a beer sampler woman shoved a little shot glass of beer my way and said here you go. I took it without thinking, drank it and all these wheels started turning in my body. I thought you are so gonna drink tonight. You just had your first sip. And so I did. I also knew after 14 days here that I would drink on Sunday cos my girlfriend is coming in from Vancouver to stay over for a night, and all we do is drink. I'm going to tell her. I thought i would wait and not drink, but look at me, I blew it tonight. Okay so after Sunday night I'll be back on the sober bus. Or will I? Jeez.:scared:

Anna 08-11-2017 04:58 PM

I think that going to buy beer, just in case, is a bad idea. If you go to a liquor store, it's like looking for trouble. Good job on 14 days of sobriety. You don't have to drink until Sunday. Why not get rid of the alcohol and start your sobriety tonight?

Dee74 08-11-2017 05:04 PM

I think you decided pretty much from that just in case beer buy.

If drinkings a part of your relationship with your friend I think you need to have that I'm not drinking anymore conversation, and have it sooner than later.

I don;t mean to sound harsh, but you can't really sit on the fence with this. Either you're in this to recover, or you're not?

D

PhoenixJ 08-11-2017 05:20 PM

Keep posting here- lots. Go to a meeting. Keep posting here lots. Support to you.

Jules714 08-11-2017 05:22 PM

They say the relapse ends with a drink. It starts well before hand. It seems you decided to drink when you went to the store. I used to get like that. Nothing could make me change my mind...drinking was in my head and off I went. I'll stop tomorrow. Never quite worked out as I planned. 5 days later I'm drinking two pints a day I don't know anything anymore. Just drink pass out, wretch, vomit, drink, get more, eat two crackers so I don't puke this liquid hold I JUST got! Oh the misery.
You did so good for 2 whole weeks! I hope you dump the stash and talk to your friend.
You can do this!!
Jules

Hevyn 08-11-2017 06:19 PM

Hi Daisy. I did that sort of thing many times before finally getting serious. In the end, I was tired of the same old things happening over & over. I was exhausted - and it really wasn't fun anymore. I hope you will get back on the bus. We're here to listen and help.


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