Sad about drinking...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 194
Sad about drinking...
So, I made it to day 10. My house was immaculate, all bills paid, exercising every day and I was really getting things together. Then I go shopping and see these amazing stemless wine glasses. They had me written all over them; perfectly painted with fall colors. I knew if I bought them, I would drink. I couldn't believe that I had to spend the rest of my life not drinking, so I bought them! I was careful to only have half a bottle of wine that first night, and the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. Last night I had a bottle and a half and it happened in no time..I just kept drinking. Im sad because I can't beat it! Im sad because I haven't learned! Im sad because I want to be my own best friend by stopping, but Ive let myself down! Why won't the light of truth stay lit in my mind? I need to become best friends with the truth, my truth!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Wrandi
You absolutely can beat it - you've shown you can be sober - now you need to work out how to stay sober.
Reaching out here before you drink should be a fundamental part of your recovery plan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Work as hard, if not harder on not drinking as you did on drinking.
Have faith that not drinking will one day not seem like an deprivation to you... but a release and a sense of freedom
This is simply a stumble - you can do this
D
You absolutely can beat it - you've shown you can be sober - now you need to work out how to stay sober.
Reaching out here before you drink should be a fundamental part of your recovery plan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Work as hard, if not harder on not drinking as you did on drinking.
Have faith that not drinking will one day not seem like an deprivation to you... but a release and a sense of freedom
This is simply a stumble - you can do this
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
A non-drinker doesn't buy wine glasses. Why did you do that? It wasn't the "fall colors" or the elegant shape. You purchased them so you'd have an excuse to drink. When people relapse, they often say that the relapse warning signs were everywhere before they actually took that first drink. It sounds like your experience was similar.
Do you keep wine and liquor in the house? That's another warning sign, as non-drinkers don't keep alcohol around. Maybe start by getting rid of the temptations around you and start over. That includes tossing or giving away those fancy new glasses you bought. You won't be needing them. It will also be a good step for you to get rid of them - quitting requires commitment and your actions will signal to yourself that you are serious about stopping this madness. Good luck.
Do you keep wine and liquor in the house? That's another warning sign, as non-drinkers don't keep alcohol around. Maybe start by getting rid of the temptations around you and start over. That includes tossing or giving away those fancy new glasses you bought. You won't be needing them. It will also be a good step for you to get rid of them - quitting requires commitment and your actions will signal to yourself that you are serious about stopping this madness. Good luck.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Have faith that not drinking will one day not seem like an deprivation to you... but a release and a sense of freedom
When I take the time to count my blessings, I feel so positive. Gratitude is the rudder of my ship. Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by Wrandi1 
I was careful to only have half a bottle of wine that first night, and the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. Last night I had a bottle and a half and it happened in no time..I just kept drinking.
Use this experience as a learning tool and know that you can no longer drink. Move forward, get rid of the glasses and any alcohol in your home and start over. If you really want a sober life, you will do anything to make it happen. It really does get so much easier once you have a solid recovery plan! Make it happen...you will be so thankful you put the work needed into it!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Wrandi,
Great advice above. One thing I'll add, is that, when you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself when, say, you saw those glasses in the store and felt deprived that you couldn't have them.. to CHALLENGE that thought and don't accept it as valid. It's a thought, but it doesn't mean it's right.
They are just wine glasses. If you saw a pipe, you wouldn't think it's not fair you couldn't smoke. It's just a THING that you don't need or want anymore, and actually it is something that prevents you from having other good, real, healthier things and experiences in your life. Because you bought the glasses and the wine, it kept you from doing who knows what, all kinds of other things... anything important to you.
It's like advice for people who say they don't like to say "no" to people. To realize that by saying "yes" to something they don't really want to do, they actually are saying "no" to something more meaningful to themselves, their family,, etc. We only have so much energy, health and life capital to spend.
From now on, remind yourself you aren't going to spend yours on wine or anything related to it. You want more.
Don't beat yourself up. Learn from this and move ahead! You can do it.
Great advice above. One thing I'll add, is that, when you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself when, say, you saw those glasses in the store and felt deprived that you couldn't have them.. to CHALLENGE that thought and don't accept it as valid. It's a thought, but it doesn't mean it's right.
They are just wine glasses. If you saw a pipe, you wouldn't think it's not fair you couldn't smoke. It's just a THING that you don't need or want anymore, and actually it is something that prevents you from having other good, real, healthier things and experiences in your life. Because you bought the glasses and the wine, it kept you from doing who knows what, all kinds of other things... anything important to you.
It's like advice for people who say they don't like to say "no" to people. To realize that by saying "yes" to something they don't really want to do, they actually are saying "no" to something more meaningful to themselves, their family,, etc. We only have so much energy, health and life capital to spend.
From now on, remind yourself you aren't going to spend yours on wine or anything related to it. You want more.
Don't beat yourself up. Learn from this and move ahead! You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
this reminds me of some lines from the big book of AA
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers,we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
and there is a solution, whether it be AA, smart, therapy, or any of the other recovery methods.
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers,we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
and there is a solution, whether it be AA, smart, therapy, or any of the other recovery methods.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,500
Wrandi, I'm glad you're doing better today. I think, you will find, before long not drinking will be a gift to yourself and you won't feel like you are losing something. You will realize how very much you are gaining in your life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
When you saw those wine glasses, it triggered an urge. Accept the urge next time as your addiction and try and wait it out. It would be helpful to also do something else while you are waiting out the urge, whether calling someone, eating something, etc. The key in the beginning is to be able to pause and not act on the addictive urge.
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