streetmelrose

hello,

i am a 33 year old male.

in about the last 5 years, i've been blackout drunk 2-3 times a week. rarely ever more than that. . . but that's because the days in between are spent recovering (my hangovers are brutal, brutal...crawling back and forth from the toilet-style brutal).

i will drink anything i can get my hands on and as fast as possible.

in social situations, if i even have one sip of alcohol, I am eventually passed out on a floor, or worse, the street (yes, it's happened a few times in the past year). i am scared that i will do this in the dead of winter one night and freeze to death. i have also ended up in the hospital from over-intoxication a few times.
basically, i will drink everything in sight.

i turn very nasty when i am passed a certain point in my intoxication and have attacked people on a few occasions (not proud of this). i have also bashed my head many times (with my fists, against walls, etc.). i have ended up with my fair share of concussions from this. at present i suffer from some pretty crappy cognitive/memory/emotional problems; i am not sure if this is from inundating my brain with alcohol 2-3 times a week, or from the head injuries... or both.


i come from a family of alcoholics/drinkers. my grandma drinks 26 oz's of Canadian Club (rye) every other day (weird pattern, i know). my grandfather (before he passed from liver cancer) drank 12-15 tall cans every day. they were quite the team; he was always a soft, romantic drunk/lush and she's nasty as all hell when drunk. the list goes on in the family...

my question is, is being drunk only 2-3 times a week "alcoholism" or is it just a binge-drinker? seems silly to even ask this as it's obvious i have a problem...but it has been recently suggested to me (rather smugly) by a friend who has done various rehab stints for intravenous cocaine addiction that i am not a "true alcoholic" because i don't drink every day and also because i have never gone through true withdrawal as a result of this.

also, could my neuro problems be from the booze? (not asking for medical advice...just want to know if anyone has any experience with this; anyone who might drink in a similar pattern to me and has since quit and noticed positive results).

thank you!

teaorcoffee

Does it matter that much?
For me, I'd say you definitely seem to be a problem drinker, if you go straight back to a binge after a hangover that horrific.
If I were you, I'd try giving up and see how much better you feel after a couple of weeks, you are unlikely to feel great the first few days.
As for the cognition, you'd have to see your doc, but some reports seem to be saying that regular binge drinking can have a significant effect on memory, brain function etc.

decchemist

Hello streetmelrose

There are many, many "true alcoholics" on this site that don't drink every day - in fact they don't drink any day. That's because they realised that they cannot control their drinking.

Your own words, in social situations, if i even have one sip of alcohol, I am eventually passed out on a floor, might be telling you something.

All the best with your life choices.

Berrybean

i have not drunk alcohol now for 1255 days. If I had a drink today with the intention of having 3 or 4, then I'd say it is likely that i would lose control of my drinking and end up completely drunk, and saying and doing things that I would regret the next day. And the next day that AV would be back to full voracity so I'd be looking for the next excuse to drink as soon as I felt well enough to.

Time really isn't the point. The point is tht once alcohol is in my bloodsteam all integrity and reason are dismissed and my compulsion takes over.

Lots of people start as you are doing (and I did) and prefer to wait til they're a 'proper' alcoholic (i.e.every day and lost their home, family, dignity). I was one of the lucky ones who felt that the dignity and integrity that I had lost was enough of a rock bottom for me.

I hope you decide to break this cycle sooner rather than later, for your sake and that of your family and friends. It is horrible watching someone in the clutched of alcohol. It really is not a happy life, but a true struggle and waste.

BB

Dee74

Hi and welcome streetmelrose

I don't catergorise them as different things to be honest - in my time I've been both a binge drinker and an all day every day drinker, and the only real difference was frequency.

If your drinking is causing you problems, and you want to stop but can't, I think you're in the right place

D

tomsteve

my question is, is being drunk only 2-3 times a week "alcoholism" or is it just a binge-drinker?


problem drinkers stop drinking and no more problem.
alcoholics stop drinking and the problems start

screw what you "friend" says. YOUR thought about YOUR drinking is what matters.

is the "friend" a "friend" you drink with?

grayghost1965

I would say that if you think you have a problem, that makes you a problem drinker or however you want to label it. Your pattern sounds potentially dangerous for you, and the fact that you are reaching out means that you think something's not right.

Someone suggested trying to stop for a couple of weeks, and I agree with that. I would go to your local ED or detox unit, though - withdrawal can be nasty and even life-threatening. Besides, your concern about your cognitive self could bear checking by a doc.

Good thoughts

Mummyto2

I was binge drinking then it gets more and more until it has a grip on you, if I were you STOP now before you throw your life away to alcohol good luck

LadyBlue0527

Anna has the best answer to this I've seen yet on this board.

I can't find her direct quote but alcoholism isn't really about the amount or frequency, it's about what alcohol does to you when you use it.

I think this is all you need to see

Before I quit I could go weeks without drinking but when I did drink all bets were off as to how much I'd have or what was going to happen.

It gets worse too.

Regardless of what your friend thinks do you really want to live that way?

Chilledice

Define alcoholism if it's a problem in your life then it's a problem that needs to be dealt with ,VERY rarely have I seen someone with a drinking issue be pleased that they went back to the booze after quitting......it almost always ends in horrid destruction so that's something to keep in mind.

As far as neurological problems after boozing that truly is something you need to see a Dr about.....I was slurring on my speech for days after I stopped but thank God that resolved itself.

Your young and have a great chance of things if you put the bottle down

soberandhonest

Hi streetmelrose and welcome to SR! Here, you will find support from thousands of folks that are just like you and that support will come without any judgment, so I hope you feel welcome. Thanks for sharing your story.

I think others have pretty much answered your question. It is extraordinarily evident that drinking is causing serious problems in your life. As far as whether it is "true alcoholism," I'm not sure that is a question that anybody, even an addiction specialist, can really answer. However, in my layperson brain, getting blackout drunk 2-3 times per week qualifies to me, especially with all of the other issues that go with it.

And, yes, absolutely your neuro problems could be from booze. You would need a medical expert to determine whether they are, in fact, from booze, but massive quantities of booze most certainly messes with your brain.

I hope you will give sobriety a try. Don't get too caught up in classifying yourself. If you need to quit - which your story strongly suggests is the case - then make a plan and do it.

Zebra1275

Here's my answer.

I'm an alcoholic.

At 33, the drinking you describe is way more serious then my drinking at 33.

Alcoholism is progressive. I didn't hit the wall until my mid 40's. If you keep this up, bad things will happen to you much sooner than that.

nez

Don't let defining whether you are a true alcoholic or not...become such a problem that you forget to work on the actual problem.

If there is an elephant in the room, why add another elephant? Figure out what to do with the first elephant first. Then if you want a second elephant, by all means, they are available; but I usually find the first elephant keeps me occupied sufficiently.

thomas11

Only you can determine if you are an alcoholic, but I will say this: I read the question and then I read "blackout 2-3 times a week"-- Yep, that's alcoholic drinking. The great thing is you are young and you can beat this demon. Many have. Your life will be better.

applewakesup

I struggled with this question myself for a long time. Not having the answer was keeping me drinking - even though alcohol was causing problems in my life. I finally thought about the reason for the question. That is, what is the solution to my problem?

1. I am a true alcoholic. Solution = stop drinking
2. I am not a true alcoholic but alcohol causes problems in my life (mostly hangovers). Solution = stop drinking.

I decided that allowing that question to keep me drinking was stupid because the solution no matter what was to quit drinking.

I have 68 days sober and I am so happy I quit. Best to you!

CelticZebra

I was black-out binge drinking, out of control about 20 years ago.
I was just a few years older than you when I quit drinking, forever!
Alcoholic is just a word, dunno whether I ever was but it really doesn't matter NOW, I don't drink.
Ignore the 'friend', only solution in finding out already mentioned, stay stopped for a few weeks, deal with the elephant and learn before adding to the elephant/problem.
See a professional about the head problems, alcohol only ever makes it worse IMO and others.

tealily

Streetmelrose,

Just wanted to welcome you.

Such wise replies to you here. I'll echo all of them. Whatever the definition of what's limiting and harming you, I feel sure that if you want a healthier, better life -- and prospects for a future different from what you witnessed in your family -- I guarantee that continuing on the pattern you are in won't be the way.

You are young and have the chance to heal and create a full life, not one dimmed and diminished by an endless round of alcohol.

You deserve more. We are glad you are here and hope you'll join us in turning a corner now.

MLD51

This is almost exactly what I was going to say.

I have had people tell me they don't think I'm "really" an alcoholic. Those are usually people who drink as much, or more, than I did. Seems pretty obvious that their motivation for saying that to me is that if I'm not an alcoholic, neither are they.

So I don't listen to anyone but myself when it comes to this question. I didn't drink every day. I was about the same as you - binging 2-3 days a week and recovering the rest of the days. But that was causing lots of problems, and they kept getting worse, and my life felt so out-of-control and pointless. Am I an alcoholic? I don't know for sure, and I don't care. I needed to quit because it wasn't fun and it was doing me lots of harm. It's really an academic question that doesn't need an answer, IMO.

Dee74

hows it going streetmelrose?

D

Nikkabean326

Though I struggle calling myself an alcoholic still - I absolutely 100% have a drinking problem. There were some nights I could handle only having just one or two with friends. Other nights.. I ended up messing myself in bed, vomiting in the bathtub and telling my SO that I wanted to die. It was always a gamble which way I would go after that first sip. I chose just about 110 days ago that enough was enough. Only you can decide if you need to quit or not.. Just by being here, I'd say it's pretty likely. Good luck, friend. Hope to see you write here again soon!