Excruciating day today
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by Georgie123 
That's the only way to describe it. From the minute I woke up I felt 'edgy', like I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I soldiered on anyhow and managed to drive out to an outdoor pool for a swim. I then tried to find somewhere for a nice lunch but was so indecisive, I kept drifting in and out of places...it's like I couldn't settle. I came home feeling really down. I thought of buying a bottle of wine, beer, anything to lift my mood. I do suffer from depression, have for many years and take anti depressants. I've seen many councillors too. It all just feels like an uphill struggle. I felt so bored and alone today, everywhere I looked there were couples and families. I feel like a reject, a misfit and a flawed human being that nobody wants. I guess not drinking brings all our feelings up and there's nowhere to hide. My mind was zooming everywhere, the past, the future, which looked very bleak.I know I need to keep myself busy, do excercise, live more in the now etc... I know all the answers and I will do it. I just wanted to acknowledge how utterly hopeless I felt today and how agonising it was to just 'be'. It's been 14 days, I hope it gets easier. Thanks for reading.
I think of the elderly who are getting on in years and those are supposed to be their "golden years", right? But they really struggle sometimes with feeling alone, abandoned, and losing their purpose. They often feel like they are a burden on others and don't have much to contribute to society anymore. They don't realize what a treasure they truly are....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
Thanks everyone who took the time to reply, so so appreciate it. What a fantastic site this is. The last couple of days have been a bit better. I've decided I need to ensure that I'm really busy, maybe join a new group, art class etc... I need to replace 'drinking' with something else.
I'm at my sisters this weekend, had a lovely time with niece and nephew. They have all gone to a boozy BBQ at a friends...they kept asking me to go, I was sooooooooo tempted. But here I am watching Frank Sinatra documentary on tv, bottle of Evian!! Hoping the feeling of 'missing out' dissipates over time.
Once again THANK YOU to all who replied, it has helped so much. I feel part of a community.
I'm at my sisters this weekend, had a lovely time with niece and nephew. They have all gone to a boozy BBQ at a friends...they kept asking me to go, I was sooooooooo tempted. But here I am watching Frank Sinatra documentary on tv, bottle of Evian!! Hoping the feeling of 'missing out' dissipates over time.
Once again THANK YOU to all who replied, it has helped so much. I feel part of a community.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Well, Georgie, just remember you're not "missing out". Really. You're not. Let everyone do what they're going to do and think what they're going to think. We know not drinking; staying away from drinking is what we need to do. We are where we are at any given time; we CHOOSE. We can't be everywhere or do everything...I know you know that and not saying you think that. But, the fear of missing out really can take away from being present and staying in the now. I'm glad you are getting such wonderful help from this fantastic site!
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