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-   -   Really breaking down. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/414162-really-breaking-down.html)

babyedwards 08-10-2017 08:46 AM

Really breaking down.
 
The last 3 days have been hell. I've eaten barely anything. I sleep about 4 hours and I go from panic attack to crying until I've given myself a headache. Today I am feeling weak, headachey, and overall dissociated with myself. I have manage to eat half an orange and half a veggie wrap. And some peppermint tea. I'm going to spend some time here today and do some chatting. Thanks everyone.

Lava256 08-10-2017 08:53 AM

Prayers for you. I hope you get through this sober. You deserve better.

L.

herculana 08-10-2017 09:03 AM

Stay with us. LAY LOW ... Do NOTHING... but stay with us today.

Talk here, read, whatever.

Check out Annie Grace, Author of This Naked Mind, on youtube.com. She gives amazingly encouraging and informative talk about what youre going through right now. Plenty of vids to choose from.

You are sick right now. Treat yourself as if youre sick, because YOU ARE.

That means lay low, and no pressure.

Don't drink.

Just for today, dont drink.

10 days, and your body will have rid itself of alcohol.

It takes 10 days, and each day the physical symptoms will lessen.

Here for you <3

soberandhonest 08-10-2017 09:04 AM

Hi babyedwards. Sorry you're not feeling well. Since you have decided to hang it here a bit today, please tell us about yourself so we can know how to best support you. If you are on Day #3 of sobriety, then no matter how crappy you might feel, celebrate your accomplishment so far! Whether you know it or not, you are making tremendous strides. No matter what the circumstances, there are a whole lot of us sending positive energy and non-judgmental support your way.

babyedwards 08-10-2017 09:12 AM

It's been about a month since I stopped drinking. I drank daily vodka for 6 years.

I've suffered from anxiety all my life. But recently it's become crippling. I just want to sit and cry. I'm not going to drink. But I just feel like I don't know what to do with myself. Thank you for listening

Chilledice 08-10-2017 09:16 AM


Originally Posted by babyedwards (Post 6567549)
The last 3 days have been hell. I've eaten barely anything. I sleep about 4 hours and I go from panic attack to crying until I've given myself a headache. Today I am feeling weak, headachey, and overall dissociated with myself. I have manage to eat half an orange and half a veggie wrap. And some peppermint tea. I'm going to spend some time here today and do some chatting. Thanks everyone.

Awww hey im so sorry your suffering, you are ALWAYS welcome to chat with us, massive hugs to you.....you are a brave soldier :)

babyedwards 08-10-2017 09:17 AM

Logically I know that my headache, dizzyness, weakness are from crying for the past 24 hours and not getting proper sleep because I've had all these feelings before they aren't new. But my anxiety is telling me it's ok just have a drink it will go away. But my logical self is saying sip some tea and rest on the couch and don't push yourself. So I'm having this inner struggle and argument today and I can't find a quiet thought to save my life.

Chilledice 08-10-2017 09:20 AM


Originally Posted by babyedwards (Post 6567590)
Logically I know that my headache, dizzyness, weakness are from crying for the past 24 hours and not getting proper sleep because I've had all these feelings before they aren't new. But my anxiety is telling me it's ok just have a drink it will go away. But my logical self is saying sip some tea and rest on the couch and don't push yourself. So I'm having this inner struggle and argument today and I can't find a quiet thought to save my life.

I was in the same boat yesterday with mental torment and panic and then nearly gave in to drinking, but here we both are sober :) REGARDLESS of what it throws your way you are still sober......your amazing :)

soberandhonest 08-10-2017 09:26 AM

Again, sorry you're having a tough stretch here, but fantastic job on not giving in to the booze to address your issues. You already know this, but I'll remind you - drinking has not and never will make your anxiety go away. It might numb you to it for a bit, but it will come back and be worse than before. Congrats on a month of sobriety, too! That is wonderful. I would strongly suggest that you set up a visit to your doctor to get some medical insight into your anxiety. In addition, maybe check out some good sleepytime herbal teas to help you sleep and some exercise. In my sobriety, exercise has been the biggest factor in keeping my anxiety level under control and my best tool in sobriety.

babyedwards 08-10-2017 09:54 AM

Thank you everyone. I have made an executive decision that I am not changing out of my jammies today and I am going to lay on the couch and watch Tudors all day and drink tea. I've been going non stop for a month. Between bbqs, fundraisers, working on the small business, prepping for the event where we will be one of the vendors. I'm just tired. I think it's catching up to me.

Chilledice 08-10-2017 09:55 AM


Originally Posted by babyedwards (Post 6567645)
Thank you everyone. I have made an executive decision that I am not changing out of my jammies today and I am going to lay on the couch and watch Tudors all day and drink tea. I've been going non stop for a month. Between bbqs, fundraisers, working on the small business, prepping for the event where we will be one of the vendors. I'm just tired. I think it's catching up to me.

Im glued to my sofa right now lol

Berrybean 08-10-2017 10:25 AM

I was a month sober when my anxiety convinced me I was going mad. That was when I got desperate enough to give AA a go, and I got some relief from the experience, strength and hope I found in those rooms with strangers who seemed to have experieced those same feelings of crippling seperateness, and not-enoughness and who could accept me without judgement because they'd been where I had. It still took me another 6 months to commit to actively participating in the program with a sponsor though - but that's a different story.

I hope that you too can use this gift of desperation to reach a state of willingness to try things for recovery that have previously seemed unsatisfactory or irrelevant and unneccesary to you and your drinking pattern. That's when we start getting some relief.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB x

babyedwards 08-10-2017 10:56 AM

Today is just a down day. I have to listen to my body and respect it. I am so thankful for this forum and for all of you. There's nothing worse then feeling alone while struggling with illness.

tomsteve 08-10-2017 11:14 AM

is there any chance some of the physical symptoms- headache, dizzyness, weakness -could be from lack of nutrition? it reads like to havent eaten very much lately

DarklingSong 08-10-2017 11:22 AM

My heart goes out to you. I had a fantasy that stopping drinking would make everything better. It has actually almost bought me to my knees. I am on day 55 and right now I am scared of life. Thats the only way I can describe it. It all just seems so uncertain. I used to drink to make these feeling go away.
I hope you get some rest....hang in there, we both know alcohol will make it all worse.
Best wishes to you.

babyedwards 08-10-2017 11:36 AM

It's totally from not eating. I have zero appetite right now. I am thankful that I am still level headed enough to stay away from the booze. I am still optimistic that things will get better. But I didn't think it would be this crappy. I thought I would be feeling amazing and have my body back and zest for life...but that's just not happening.

tomsteve 08-10-2017 11:40 AM


Originally Posted by babyedwards (Post 6567784)
I thought I would be feeling amazing and have my body back and zest for life...but that's just not happening.

YET.
alcoholics have a knack for wanting instant gratification. unfortunatly, thats not how it works when it comes to someone who dumped large quanities of toxins into their body for a long period of time.

gotta give it T.I.M.E.

other than not drinking, what else have you done to address underlying issues?

soberandhonest 08-10-2017 11:49 AM

Find a reason to smile today everyone, even if it might be difficult. Here's one: you're sober. Here's another: you're feeling your feelings.

I am an attorney preparing for a trial that starts next week. I'm an experienced attorney but very few cases actually make it to trial. It is stressful as hell preparing for trial and going to trial. I have about 100 hours of work to do in the next 24 hours. This is the most stressful time for me since I got sober 20 months ago. I'm feeling the stress - every minute. It wakes me up at night. It sucks. But there is no way in hell that anything is going to take my sobriety from me. I own my sobriety and nobody, no person and no circumstance, will take it from me. And that makes me smile.

babyedwards 08-10-2017 11:55 AM

I'm actually on a wait list to see a mental health cousellor. They've given me some coping exercises to do and suggested I start journaling. They gave me a script for clonazepam but I have yet to take one. I'm gonna leave them for now and try to get my anxiety under control with meditation and grounding.

I have lots to be positive about. I have my health. My sobriety. A supportive husband. 4 cute cats. And so many supportive friends who have checked in on me and shown me nothing but love and compassion. I almost feel selfish for sitting here down in the dumps when there really is no reason for it.

tomsteve 08-10-2017 01:15 PM

have you been journaling and putting them coping exercises into action?

we can get down in the dumps in early recovery. it happens. what isnt good is allowing it to control us.


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