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Old 08-09-2017, 06:56 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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[I]No. but I walked away from God and shouted at Him got angry towards my brothers and sisters in Christ and listened to seriously bad music etc [/
I]

Oh have I been there. Shouted at God. Swore at him. Screamed at him. Ripped up bibles. Rued the very day I was born. Over and over again I railed against Him and let Him have it every chance I got. But you know what? He's God. I think He can handle it. Anger is a part of being human. So is not being able to see a bigger picture. Personally, I'm not afraid of being honest with God. If I can't be honest with Him who can I be? I imagine He saw me as a spiritually immature child throwing a tantrum, just like I used to watch my own children do. If a small child tells their parent they hate them, does the parent take them seriously and sever the relationship and kick them out of the house? No? Then I think you have your answer. Grace is bigger and stronger than anything we throw at it.
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Old 08-09-2017, 06:57 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
saul murdered christians in the name of christianity.
I listened to a song by a what I presume evil band! And this was ten years ago and it just popped into my head out of nowhere, I was hammered drunk at time of course!
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Old 08-09-2017, 06:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
I listened to a song by a what I presume evil band! And this was ten years ago and it just popped into my head out of nowhere, I was hammered drunk at time of course!
I also had sex outside of marriage with someone who was involved with dark things if ya know what I mean? just out of nowhere its all come to me!

Maybe these are memories I drowned out by drinking and didn't realise it?
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:00 AM
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Originally Posted by BlownOne View Post

[I]No. but I walked away from God and shouted at Him got angry towards my brothers and sisters in Christ and listened to seriously bad music etc [/
I]

Oh have I been there. Shouted at God. Swore at him. Screamed at him. Ripped up bibles. Rued the very day I was born. Over and over again I railed against Him and let Him have it every chance I got. But you know what? He's God. I think He can handle it. Anger is a part of being human. So is not being able to see a bigger picture. Personally, I'm not afraid of being honest with God. If I can't be honest with Him who can I be? I imagine He saw me as a spiritually immature child throwing a tantrum, just like I used to watch my own children do. If a small child tells their parent they hate them, does the parent take them seriously and sever the relationship and kick them out of the house? No? Then I think you have your answer. Grace is bigger and stronger than anything we throw at it.
I think maybe the enemy has had a hay day with me lately, just hits me out of nowhere.
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
I think maybe the enemy has had a hay day with me lately, just hits me out of nowhere.
and what did jesus say to the enemy?
“Away with you,Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”
"Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns."


"Maybe these are memories I drowned out by drinking and didn't realise it?"

more than likely.
now to let them go.
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:20 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
and what did jesus say to the enemy?
“Away with you,Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”
"Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns."


"Maybe these are memories I drowned out by drinking and didn't realise it?"

more than likely.
now to let them go.
Your right! man sometimes I just have these moments where I almost become childlike in my thinking and it takes a while to snap outta it.
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:23 AM
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nothing wrong with being childlike.
Jesus mentioned it in matthew( hinthint ).
to become like little children- to want to learn and be teachable
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:35 AM
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to become like little children- to want to learn and be teachable

Perfect!! =)
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:56 AM
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As far as past sins that you had buried and are now bubbling up to haunt you, Christ's blood covers them. Just apologize earnestly to him, and repent (sounds like you've already turned away from them).

Recognize that the blasphemous and "unforgivable sin" thoughts are just an irrational function of your severe OCD. They do not represent your true will.

Have you been to see a psychiatrist? Their main function nowadays is to assess and diagnose problems, then prescribe medication that can really help.

I thank God that he has worked through doctors (and the first two were secular) to help me with medicine. Medicine has been a lifesaver for me when all the reasoning in the world had no effect.

I hope you will see a doctor who specializes in OCD--a psychiatrist. For genuine illness, it makes no difference if they're Christians or not. OCD is an real and serious illness. A psychiatrist might really be able to reduce your torment.

Proper medical treatment might really set you free.
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Old 08-09-2017, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Gilmer View Post
As far as past sins that you had buried and are now bubbling up to haunt you, Christ's blood covers them. Just apologize earnestly to him, and repent (sounds like you've already turned away from them).

Recognize that the blasphemous and "unforgivable sin" thoughts are just an irrational function of your severe OCD. They do not represent your true will.

Have you been to see a psychiatrist? Their main function nowadays is to assess and diagnose problems, then prescribe medication that can really help.

I thank God that he has worked through doctors (and the first two were secular) to help me with medicine. Medicine has been a lifesaver for me when all the reasoning in the world had no effect.

I hope you will see a doctor who specializes in OCD--a psychiatrist. For genuine illness, it makes no difference if they're Christians or not. OCD is an real and serious illness. A psychiatrist might really be able to reduce your torment.

Proper medical treatment might really set you free.
I don't know if he specialises in OCD but he says that he covers it, 1st of September for a visit to the local therapist with the national health service, not sure if she is an OCD specialist either.

Thanks Gilmer much appreciated as always.
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Old 08-09-2017, 10:20 AM
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Ok so I just spoken with them and they have confirmed that they DO treat severe OCD phewwww, let's hope for the best. Thanks guys much appreciated :-)
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Old 08-09-2017, 10:28 AM
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Chill,

It gets better and better. Some days seem worse, but really they are better.

I was agoraphobia stricken as well. It was horrible.

I faked it and folks thought i was fine.

I filled up on food and slept more. Sleep seems to be the real equalizer for me.

I was so stressed yesterday. I took a 20 minute power nap and i was back in content mode.

Since you are physically in decent health, at 52 days clean, you should try doing tons to sit ups, push up, and squats. Just in your house.

When your muscles are burning, the obsessive thoughts fade. Plus, we get endorphins.

Thanks.
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Old 08-09-2017, 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by D122y View Post
Chill,

It gets better and better. Some days seem worse, but really they are better.

I was agoraphobia stricken as well. It was horrible.

I faked it and folks thought i was fine.

I filled up on food and slept more. Sleep seems to be the real equalizer for me.

I was so stressed yesterday. I took a 20 minute power nap and i was back in content mode.

Since you are physically in decent health, at 52 days clean, you should try doing tons to sit ups, push up, and squats. Just in your house.

When your muscles are burning, the obsessive thoughts fade. Plus, we get endorphins.

Thanks.
Ohhh forget squats brother my legs would snap

So glad you moved out of agoraphobia, im STILL holding on to SOME resemblance of hope and the worth of living.

Maybe I'll just be in the garden tonight and get some fresh air in me.
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Old 08-09-2017, 10:38 AM
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I love you guys I really do!

You always welcomed me back time after time for years on end, you never judge me you only offer me warmth and comfort and good sound advice (even when I don't like it lol )


Thanks all
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Old 08-09-2017, 10:44 AM
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You are not alone (((Chilledice)))
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:23 AM
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Hey Chilled,

If you are worrying about the unpardonable sin, then you haven't committed it. The only unpardonable sin, from a protestant perspective, is ultimately rejecting the grace of God in and through his Son. To have committed that sin you would have come to a place where you were no longer able to "turn around," and accept forgiveness.

God forgives sinners, and his Holy Spirit reveals to us our need of that forgiveness, and leads us to grace which is why the unpardonable sin is also called "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit." One commits the unpardonable sin by persistently refusing to repent (turn around), and be forgiven. Having repeatedly struggled and failed does not invalidate the grace of God leading to renewed repentance and faith. God will always hold out the gift of forgiveness to us through Christ and unreservedly welcome us back.
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:25 AM
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Originally Posted by LesPaul1993 View Post
Hey Chilled,

If you are worrying about the unpardonable sin, then you haven't committed it. The only unpardonable sin, from a protestant perspective, is ultimately rejecting the grace of God in and through his Son. To have committed that sin you would have come to a place where you were no longer able to "turn around," and accept forgiveness.

God forgives sinners, and his Holy Spirit reveals to us our need of that forgiveness, and leads us to grace which is why the unpardonable sin is also called "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit." One commits the unpardonable sin by persistently refusing to repent (turn around), and be forgiven. Having repeatedly struggled and failed does not invalidate the grace of God leading to renewed repentance and faith. God will always hold out the gift of forgiveness to us through Christ and unreservedly welcome us back.
I could hug you right now lol
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:32 AM
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I see you are a steve vai fan excellent
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:39 AM
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I hope you're feeling better, chilled. Bad thoughts are never any fun.
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Jezzi View Post
I hope you're feeling better, chilled. Bad thoughts are never any fun.
I'm calming down a bit now.
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