I'm sober, life's awesome, I am blessed, I have nothing to gripe about. Here's my gripe.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm sober, life's awesome, I am blessed, I have nothing to gripe about. Here's my gripe.
My leg hurts.
My knee hurts.
My job is feeling overwhelming.
My financial commitments have me stressed out.
I am mildly depressed on a fairly regular and possibly chronic basis.
I say out loud "what am I gonna DO"? - and as I've shared with my therapist, I'm not even sure what I mean by that.
I have three great children, a fantastic wife, two cars, two houses, a good job and a solid income. People see me as a leader and I'm generally liked and respected.
But I don't feel very upbeat sometimes. I wake to a sense of dread sometimes. I feel the pressure of feeling like I'll be discovered as a fraud at work. I want something else.... but I feel trapped in this career and even if I wasn't trapped by the money, I don't know what the heck that something else is.
But you know what?
I'm still grateful.
I see that I'm blessed.
I give thanks.
I recite the ways in which I'm in a good place in life.
I ice my leg and stretch and I exercise the things that I can.
I eat pretty well and I am grateful for my sobriety - because my life is filled with positive things because of my choice to be sober.
I can see the beauty despite the pain.
Maybe I'll have to live with this sense of glumness haunting me always.
Maybe there is growth and work to be done that will lead me to the answer or the stage of life where I'm free from that feeling.
Maybe that's just Being Human.
I don't know. In the meantime, I'll try not to gripe too much. But also, I'll gripe sometimes because it's OK to gripe, too.
I shared this because I wanted you to know that I'm sober and I'm happy and grateful.
I shared this because I wanted you to know that being sober and happy and grateful doesn't mean you won't also feel sad and stressed and challenged.
I shared this because I know that the journey of Being Human can be pretty fraught with challenge.....
But also know this; that journey is far better sober.
That's about enough of my griping.
My knee hurts.
My job is feeling overwhelming.
My financial commitments have me stressed out.
I am mildly depressed on a fairly regular and possibly chronic basis.
I say out loud "what am I gonna DO"? - and as I've shared with my therapist, I'm not even sure what I mean by that.
I have three great children, a fantastic wife, two cars, two houses, a good job and a solid income. People see me as a leader and I'm generally liked and respected.
But I don't feel very upbeat sometimes. I wake to a sense of dread sometimes. I feel the pressure of feeling like I'll be discovered as a fraud at work. I want something else.... but I feel trapped in this career and even if I wasn't trapped by the money, I don't know what the heck that something else is.
But you know what?
I'm still grateful.
I see that I'm blessed.
I give thanks.
I recite the ways in which I'm in a good place in life.
I ice my leg and stretch and I exercise the things that I can.
I eat pretty well and I am grateful for my sobriety - because my life is filled with positive things because of my choice to be sober.
I can see the beauty despite the pain.
Maybe I'll have to live with this sense of glumness haunting me always.
Maybe there is growth and work to be done that will lead me to the answer or the stage of life where I'm free from that feeling.
Maybe that's just Being Human.
I don't know. In the meantime, I'll try not to gripe too much. But also, I'll gripe sometimes because it's OK to gripe, too.
I shared this because I wanted you to know that I'm sober and I'm happy and grateful.
I shared this because I wanted you to know that being sober and happy and grateful doesn't mean you won't also feel sad and stressed and challenged.
I shared this because I know that the journey of Being Human can be pretty fraught with challenge.....
But also know this; that journey is far better sober.
That's about enough of my griping.
Learning to Live
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: CA
Posts: 203
Thank you for sharing that. It's hard to remember sometimes that feeling any emotion other than "happy" (all-be-it a clouded, drunken, false happy) is normal.
Even in my extremely early sobriety I can tell that real happy is so much better than the previously mentioned
Even in my extremely early sobriety I can tell that real happy is so much better than the previously mentioned
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
When you write your share and hit
post quick reply, you have a small
window of opportunity to correct
things in your post if you need to.
I usually post, then send it then reread
what I wrote and have to go to the bottom
of my post and click on edit to go correct
misspelled words etc . I may have to repeat
the process several or so times before my
time is out where I cant make anymore
corrections.
Or you can write your post and instead
of hitting post quick reply, you can hit
go advance and it will save what you
wrote and edit it taking your time before
hitting quick reply.
Anyway....thanks for sharing. Just to
know we never have to carry or hold
onto bothersome thoughts alone or
by ourselves is pretty comforting.
We all have ears to listen or shoulders
to cry or lean on for caring and understanding.
We're here for ya friend.
post quick reply, you have a small
window of opportunity to correct
things in your post if you need to.
I usually post, then send it then reread
what I wrote and have to go to the bottom
of my post and click on edit to go correct
misspelled words etc . I may have to repeat
the process several or so times before my
time is out where I cant make anymore
corrections.
Or you can write your post and instead
of hitting post quick reply, you can hit
go advance and it will save what you
wrote and edit it taking your time before
hitting quick reply.
Anyway....thanks for sharing. Just to
know we never have to carry or hold
onto bothersome thoughts alone or
by ourselves is pretty comforting.
We all have ears to listen or shoulders
to cry or lean on for caring and understanding.
We're here for ya friend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Geez, you must be stretched....you forgot a kid!
I've found its human nature to bitch about things, we all do it. But I also believe its important to see the "glass half full" stuff as well. So many people neglect having gratitude for the things they do have no matter how big or small.
I've found its human nature to bitch about things, we all do it. But I also believe its important to see the "glass half full" stuff as well. So many people neglect having gratitude for the things they do have no matter how big or small.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Well written free owl!
I can relate on so many levels. Maybe to give you some insight about career claustrophobia I did "find" that other thing to do in life. I left corporate, salary, stability for my own biz. Now 2 years in im starting to breath. Im finally in the black, and things are track. But you know the crazy thing? Sometimes i think it would be easier if i just collected my salary, bit my lip, put my head down, commute and just go back to corporate... im now under the firm belief that im the type of person who is probably never going to be satisfied with anything. This is due to my nagging depression and somewhat macabre sense of life. Ive accepted that this truly is "life", and in many ways alot of weight has been lifted.
So, when youre at your desk wondering what the hell you are doing with life, just accept that this is where you are and this is life. Like you i am most thankful for sobriety, it is a great pride for me. And i know i have 3 kids (at least that im aware of).
I can relate on so many levels. Maybe to give you some insight about career claustrophobia I did "find" that other thing to do in life. I left corporate, salary, stability for my own biz. Now 2 years in im starting to breath. Im finally in the black, and things are track. But you know the crazy thing? Sometimes i think it would be easier if i just collected my salary, bit my lip, put my head down, commute and just go back to corporate... im now under the firm belief that im the type of person who is probably never going to be satisfied with anything. This is due to my nagging depression and somewhat macabre sense of life. Ive accepted that this truly is "life", and in many ways alot of weight has been lifted.
So, when youre at your desk wondering what the hell you are doing with life, just accept that this is where you are and this is life. Like you i am most thankful for sobriety, it is a great pride for me. And i know i have 3 kids (at least that im aware of).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by JoeCree 
Well written free owl!
I can relate on so many levels. Maybe to give you some insight about career claustrophobia I did "find" that other thing to do in life. I left corporate, salary, stability for my own biz. Now 2 years in im starting to breath. Im finally in the black, and things are track. But you know the crazy thing? Sometimes i think it would be easier if i just collected my salary, bit my lip, put my head down, commute and just go back to corporate... im now under the firm belief that im the type of person who is probably never going to be satisfied with anything. This is due to my nagging depression and somewhat macabre sense of life. Ive accepted that this truly is "life", and in many ways alot of weight has been lifted.
So, when youre at your desk wondering what the hell you are doing with life, just accept that this is where you are and this is life. Like you i am most thankful for sobriety, it is a great pride for me. And i know i have 3 kids (at least that im aware of).
I can relate on so many levels. Maybe to give you some insight about career claustrophobia I did "find" that other thing to do in life. I left corporate, salary, stability for my own biz. Now 2 years in im starting to breath. Im finally in the black, and things are track. But you know the crazy thing? Sometimes i think it would be easier if i just collected my salary, bit my lip, put my head down, commute and just go back to corporate... im now under the firm belief that im the type of person who is probably never going to be satisfied with anything. This is due to my nagging depression and somewhat macabre sense of life. Ive accepted that this truly is "life", and in many ways alot of weight has been lifted.
So, when youre at your desk wondering what the hell you are doing with life, just accept that this is where you are and this is life. Like you i am most thankful for sobriety, it is a great pride for me. And i know i have 3 kids (at least that im aware of).
I believe some of what keeps me in the corporate grind is the subtle awareness that I may not feel "happy" with any other career, either. We have to make MONEY somehow. That's the bottom line. And I suspect that no matter what, the thing I do to make MONEY is going to wind up evoking these feelings.... because it's not the career I'm chained to, it's the MONEY.
It's the child support, the mortgage, the bills, the specter of the 'future' and things like tuition, 'retirement', etc.... these are the real trappings. And those simply don't go away.
So - what I generally seek to do is balance those feelings of dread with feelings of joy and gratitude and find my reward and my charge out of all the things that aren't my career....
Maybe it's the human condition. Maybe it's my own chronic depression that I've realized more and more has been with me, quietly a companion, nagging at me all my life. Not crippling, but definitely a weight.
Anyway - good thoughts and I thank you. Today's a better day, but at the same time this whole week has been a real challenge to stay positive and stave off anxiety attacks. I've had a globus sensation in my throat for months now.... at times it feels like I'm going to choke. There's nothing physically wrong, I've had it checked. It's something to do with stress, anxiety, depression.... I'm carrying crap with me..... baggage.... and I'm back to my therapist to try and work with that. I'm free from addiction where drugs and alcohol are concerned - but I'm still struggling with LIFE a bit. Maybe we all are....
thanks. happy Saturday.
I know right!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
No worries. It's not really rude. It's real. Everyone's problems are simultaneously worse and not as bad as someone else's out there.
Bottom line point of my post - Sobriety doesn't mean you're going to have an end to problems, stresses, worries, troubles, frustrations, sadness, issues...... it's not a cure-all for bringing a state of utter bliss until we pass peacefully on into the next life.
But it's a much better place to live, and problems in sobriety are much easier to manage, accept and still live life with gratitude and joy.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,057
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
No worries. It's not really rude. It's real. Everyone's problems are simultaneously worse and not as bad as someone else's out there.
Bottom line point of my post - Sobriety doesn't mean you're going to have an end to problems, stresses, worries, troubles, frustrations, sadness, issues...... it's not a cure-all for bringing a state of utter bliss until we pass peacefully on into the next life.
But it's a much better place to live, and problems in sobriety are much easier to manage, accept and still live life with gratitude and joy.
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