My mind is certainly going into the past Lately
 

I was just thinking back when I met my husband 25yrs ago and he owned a pub, I hardly ever drank back then, good job really as profit margin would have taken a beating, you would have thought that alone would have put me off drink, after seeing what ive seen with some customers but no, I think I always thought that wont happen to me, how wrong was I, anyway I will start trying to think of the present instead of the past

My papa, my dad's dad, now deceased,
both owned a local bar/pool hall in our
small town for many yrs and still is
thriving today.

As a child growing up with bar in
the family, I was brought up to believe
women/ladies don't go to bars/pool
halls. It just wasn't lady like to do so.

So, I avoided going to it for sure. However,
I learned to sip alcohol at home from a beautiful,
functioning sick mom that continued into
my adulthood till 30 yrs old and entered rehab.

I too, never ever thought I was an alcoholic
cause I always thought I was like my grandfather
and could drink successfully everyday without
any consequences except he did die of Cirrhosis
of the liver yrs ago.

As I reflect back on my life I do see where
I was negligent, irresponsible, absentminded,
and a slue of other character defects when
under the influence of controlled poison I was
putting in my body affecting my mind
body and soul.


I can say as often as we want....coulda,
woulda, shoulda, didn't, never and it will
not change the fact that my addiction to
alcohol was of my own making. Meaning,
it began and ended within me.

Of course, that road of destruction came
to a halt once I learned about my addiction
and received the gift of a recovery program
to live my life alcohol free almost 27 yrs
ago in a 28 day rehab stay and a 6 week
aftercare program added on.

Remaining teachable and putting into
action what we learn helps us achieve
health, happiness and honesty as we
move forward in our daily lives. :)

When our mind's start to clear by abstaining from alcohol the past becomes more into focus, naturally. Sobriety can be like driving a car at high speed and slamming on the brakes - all the jazzzz in the back seat comes flying forward. We are left to clean up this wreckage.

Early sobriety can be painful. It is the reason we shouldn't not drink alone. The beauty is having this opportunity to reflect, making amends as we should and build on that foundation. Not for self deprecation or regret, but as a fruitful endeavor.

The vast majority of people never do a thorough examination of their lives. In this regard I believe we are privileged as most alcoholics find a self leveling of pride and humility which can be transformational, in my experience.

The key to reflection is understanding not to dwell on yesterday, but learn and move on. It is in the seeking not self pity or wallowing we live productive lives.

Yes I agree, dwelling on the shouda etc and the past will get me nowhere, cant change it but can change the future :tyou

Some very good replies... Sharon and Fly n Buy!
Love reading this sorta stuff

Have a great day Mum!

I went to a many speaker meetings back
in the day and enjoyed hearing folks share
their ESH experiences, strengths and hopes
of what their lives were like before, during
and after alcohol or drug addiction.

We all have a story within ourselves to
share with others in hopes that our stories
can help others struggling in addiction too.

It lets them know that others have gone thru
many same similar obstacles in life too and
that they are not alone and can recovery in
a caring understanding fellowship and understanding
together. :)