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Counting the days doesn't work for me.

Old 08-06-2017, 10:00 PM
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10r
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Counting the days doesn't work for me.

I used to be so addicted to alcohol so badly that for example I'd have a difficult time to say stay at a relatives for a few days. I'd have DT's starting, the shakes and insomnia.
Ive now been four months sober with the exception of a few slip ups. By that I mean a few drinks one or two times. Not wasted or binge drinking. I just slipped a bit is all.

I've been back on the path to recovery no problem for a while now.

For myself if I'd start the count over it would be annoying, I'd get a sense of failure and it would be like telling myself I'm back at day one again. Where is I'm not at day one and I've come so very far and worked hard to get here.
Yes I regret my mistakes but I've decided to stop counting the days. Instead I've been looking at my recovery as a whole.

Four months ago I couldn't barely go a night without drinking and now it's not too much of a struggle to not drink at all. It's getting better with time. I go to meetings and different support groups and have someone to talk to whenever I need it. I'm still in recovery.

I'm not saying counting the days is not the way to go because it has worked for most people just not me.

From what I've read for a lot of people resetting the days means f it and go on a binge. That's really throwing all that sober time out the window. We are just human.

Any opinions?
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Old 08-06-2017, 10:58 PM
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There's no rule that says you have to count days - if it make sense to you not to restart your count then thats up to you.

I was a pretty good rationaliser tho -if I had say 6 months with 2 days of slips, it wouldn't be too much for me to rationalise that 6 months and 3 days or 4 was that much worse...

whatever you do, count or don;t count, the aim has to be no drinking, ever, any time.

If your recovery plan isn't geared to that, maybe you need a better plan?

D
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Old 08-06-2017, 11:22 PM
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I have just over 19 months sober now, so while I couldn't tell you the exact day I know the 1st signals a new month for me. Some people find counting very helpful, some don't.

In the past I stopped counting because I told myself it was making me crazy, but truthfully it was the beginning of me stopping my focus on sobriety, and recovery, and I ended up finding myself drinking again.

Definitely do what works for you, but I agree with Dee about the slips, it is very easy to start rationalizing.
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Old 08-06-2017, 11:41 PM
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I think that you can count or not count, staying sober is all that matters.

I count early on, then lose track so don't.
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Old 08-07-2017, 01:27 AM
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I think it depends if not counting makes the slips justifiable to you or not.

Slips are dangerous for alcoholics, so when this happened to me I restarted the counting to remind me slips were a failure given where I wanted to get wih MY recovery.

We are different people though, so only you can tell what works best for you.

All the best!
P
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Old 08-07-2017, 01:42 AM
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10r,

You have tappered and are no longer physically addicted.

You want to quit. We know moderate drinking for us opens the door for relapse.

It is all mental now. I craved yest around 3 pm.

Imo....if you can go 120 days and only drink 10 times...plus not get wasted ever....you can stop totally and be a non drinker.

I would hate to see you back here in 6 months to 2 years saying...i slowly started drinking every day....

Thanks.
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Old 08-07-2017, 01:52 AM
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Frankly? I don't believe in the word "slip." FOR ME, I'd either have a drink - or not. (And no I wouldn't likely stop at just a couple). And I would restart my sobriety date. Which would really suck for a lot of reasons, here at 532 days.

I count about once or twice a week now; I did every day for a long time.

To be frank (again), I hear a lot of "negatives" and "nos" and "I won'ts" in your post.

I'm with Dee- for us alcoholics, we either drink or we don't and THAT is what makes the difference, regardless of days, milestones, anything else.

I know that I have to have a plan of ACTION to stay sober and mine is AA - it has become my worldview and life blood, along with my faith. And I'd wish the quality of life I have on everyone on the planet.

Best for your success since you DO have another chance here- I don't believe I would get another if I drank again, so you are fortunate to be with us.

Take care- hope to see you around here. Perhaps like most of us you will find that with complete sobriety our ability to see things clearly improves dramatically.
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Old 08-07-2017, 05:35 AM
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For what its worth, I don't count days. I just know that I quit right around the middle of October in 2015. I had gotten into an argument, came home and drank.
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Old 08-07-2017, 06:46 AM
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I count my days because each one feels like a victory to me. If counting doesn't work for you then there is no need for you to do that! Just leave each sober day behind you as a gift to yourself!
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Old 08-07-2017, 08:24 AM
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I think counting days is a great way to stay sober, if someone has the power to keep themselves sober that way.

As an alcoholic, counting days never did much for me other than serve as a countdown to that day I knew was coming sooner or later - the day I'd not want to but pick up a drink anyway.

Best way for me to celebrate my sobriety is to help someone else get some, not to yell from the mountain top how great I am for hitting x-days or y-years.
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Old 08-07-2017, 08:51 AM
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This is a good topic for discussion. I totally see where you are coming from, and four months mostly sober is a million times better than 4 months mostly drunk! I hate the idea of acting like a slip is the same as drinking everyday.

However, for me, I know that a few times, the only reason I didn't drink is because I didn't want to give up the time I have sober.

So, I agree that I wouldn't really give up all that time - that it's still meaningful, but my commitment to a sober date is the reason I haven't had any slips.
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