51 Days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
51 Days
Hello
I have been reading here on and off for well over a year....daily for the last 51 days since I stopped drinking. I had hoped to do this quietly in private, but I have really started to feel so alone with this struggle. I had a bad withdrawal and I am continuing to experience a lot of physical problems. I ended up in the ER on my second day sober with racing heart and shortness of breath. I lied about my drinking (I was afraid I could be fired from work). They didn't find anything wrong- X-ray, EKG and bloods were normal. I know I have to go back to the doctor as I feel awful- still short of breath on and off and intense fatigue. Anxiety is also a constant companion.
I also wanted to post to thank the members here. I would never had made it to 51 days without being able to read the wisdom of others on SR. Thank you for that.
I have been reading here on and off for well over a year....daily for the last 51 days since I stopped drinking. I had hoped to do this quietly in private, but I have really started to feel so alone with this struggle. I had a bad withdrawal and I am continuing to experience a lot of physical problems. I ended up in the ER on my second day sober with racing heart and shortness of breath. I lied about my drinking (I was afraid I could be fired from work). They didn't find anything wrong- X-ray, EKG and bloods were normal. I know I have to go back to the doctor as I feel awful- still short of breath on and off and intense fatigue. Anxiety is also a constant companion.
I also wanted to post to thank the members here. I would never had made it to 51 days without being able to read the wisdom of others on SR. Thank you for that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Thank you all for the responses...it has made me cry with just the relief of finally being able to tell someone what I am feeling.
When I stopped drinking I did so out of fear. Fear of what I was going to lose if I kept going. I was beginning to feel so old (I am hitting 50), on a constant merry go round of drinking and hangovers. My body was screaming to stop but I kept going. Finally I started withdrawing after shorter and shorter periods without my alcohol. The thing is I wasn't even sure it was withdrawal, anxiety or I was just sick. I suffered from health anxiety 20 years ago so I wasn't sure if it was just returning due to heavy drinking.
For these few weeks of being sober the anxiety has been terrible- it really is torture. That said, I do think I may have underlying heart problems or COPD from smoking (yes I managed to acquire another addiction also!).
Through all this there has been some good days too, where I feel better and the dark cloud lifts. I am hoping I can keep going....I know I have to, even if I get bad news about my health.
I don't have really bad cravings. I just feel a profound sense of loss; of youth and of health. Suddenly the future seems very short.
Thanks.
When I stopped drinking I did so out of fear. Fear of what I was going to lose if I kept going. I was beginning to feel so old (I am hitting 50), on a constant merry go round of drinking and hangovers. My body was screaming to stop but I kept going. Finally I started withdrawing after shorter and shorter periods without my alcohol. The thing is I wasn't even sure it was withdrawal, anxiety or I was just sick. I suffered from health anxiety 20 years ago so I wasn't sure if it was just returning due to heavy drinking.
For these few weeks of being sober the anxiety has been terrible- it really is torture. That said, I do think I may have underlying heart problems or COPD from smoking (yes I managed to acquire another addiction also!).
Through all this there has been some good days too, where I feel better and the dark cloud lifts. I am hoping I can keep going....I know I have to, even if I get bad news about my health.
I don't have really bad cravings. I just feel a profound sense of loss; of youth and of health. Suddenly the future seems very short.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Darkling, Just wanted to put you at ease. I'm on 50 days and have had similar experiences in withdrawal (several times!) -- palpitations, racing heart, terrifying nightmares, disconnectedness, and intense fatigue and loneliness. These can all be the physical manifestations of withdrawal, and the symptoms do get better. You're only 50 years old! You have a great alcohol-free life ahead of you -- keep going! It takes courage to kick this poison off the field. Anxiety can be part of the withdrawal process. Embrace your anxiety as a friend, get as much rest as you can, and the anxiety will eventually go away. Wishing you the very best.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 580
Hi Darkling,
The sooner you follow-up with your Dr. and actively work towards overall health; the better you will feel. By letting go of alcohol & with Self-care, you can now allow your body to heal properly.
With 58 days sober today, I still experience attacks of anxiety, insomnia, foggy-brain, confusion, and moodiness. Yet, there is no problem that drinking will ever solve. Quick Math.
.......Thank God for this awakening! Darkling, your health can improve with the awareness and diligence that being sober gives you access to.
Keep pushing forward
The sooner you follow-up with your Dr. and actively work towards overall health; the better you will feel. By letting go of alcohol & with Self-care, you can now allow your body to heal properly.
With 58 days sober today, I still experience attacks of anxiety, insomnia, foggy-brain, confusion, and moodiness. Yet, there is no problem that drinking will ever solve. Quick Math.
.......Thank God for this awakening! Darkling, your health can improve with the awareness and diligence that being sober gives you access to.
Keep pushing forward
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: London
Posts: 232
Hi
I am 47 yrs and 47 days alcohol free ..you are 50 and 51 days free from alcohol.What a coincidence?..However we have to live the day ahead and not the past days.What we can do is just stop the bad and start from whatever we have.
we cant go and fix the things in the past.
Let's stay free from ANY addiction and we get clarity of our mind.
I have been starting to notice so many damaged I have made and seeing the good I have tooo.
I have a sober mind to see good and bad so I am grateful for that.
Lets chant a mantra,
God grant me serenity for the things i cant change ,courage to change the things i can and wisdom to see the difference.
Stay safe and addiction free all good will happen !!!
I am 47 yrs and 47 days alcohol free ..you are 50 and 51 days free from alcohol.What a coincidence?..However we have to live the day ahead and not the past days.What we can do is just stop the bad and start from whatever we have.
we cant go and fix the things in the past.
Let's stay free from ANY addiction and we get clarity of our mind.
I have been starting to notice so many damaged I have made and seeing the good I have tooo.
I have a sober mind to see good and bad so I am grateful for that.
Lets chant a mantra,
God grant me serenity for the things i cant change ,courage to change the things i can and wisdom to see the difference.
Stay safe and addiction free all good will happen !!!
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