This time, it's real
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 15
This time, it's real
I picked up my first drink when I was 15. It was one of my mom's wine coolers, and immediately after chugging it began to stumble around "drunk" to seem cool to my 13-year-old brother. A few months later my friend brought rum in a water bottle to school and gave me a few sips, and I liked the risk of it, the need to stay furtive. We chewed a lot of gum that day to hide the alcohol on our breath.
When I was 18, I got my first real experience with alcohol, and boy did I love it. I was in college at the time, and when I drank, I felt like people liked me. I felt sexy and fun, and the depression that had hospitalized me the year before seemed to melt away for a little while. Pretty soon the drinks and house parties were all I cared about. I failed most of my classes and ended up dropping out of college a year and a half in.
I'm 23 now and have been blackout drunk hundreds of times. I've destroyed friendships, publicly humiliated myself, lost the trust of my family, and physically hurt my body because of alcohol, and still I drink. I've said over and over again that this time will be different, this time I'll stop before things get ugly, this drink will be my last, and every single time I wake up the next day full of regret and pain and wondering what happened last night.
I'm done with this. I'm done with this poison liquid that has only ever hurt me. And I need the help of all of you to truly be done, for good.
When I was 18, I got my first real experience with alcohol, and boy did I love it. I was in college at the time, and when I drank, I felt like people liked me. I felt sexy and fun, and the depression that had hospitalized me the year before seemed to melt away for a little while. Pretty soon the drinks and house parties were all I cared about. I failed most of my classes and ended up dropping out of college a year and a half in.
I'm 23 now and have been blackout drunk hundreds of times. I've destroyed friendships, publicly humiliated myself, lost the trust of my family, and physically hurt my body because of alcohol, and still I drink. I've said over and over again that this time will be different, this time I'll stop before things get ugly, this drink will be my last, and every single time I wake up the next day full of regret and pain and wondering what happened last night.
I'm done with this. I'm done with this poison liquid that has only ever hurt me. And I need the help of all of you to truly be done, for good.
Last edited by Pasuta; 08-06-2017 at 08:30 AM. Reason: Spelling
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by Pasuta 
I need the help of all of you to truly be done, for good.
willingness leads to action
action leads to sobriety/ recovery
i went to AA and followed direction
God bless
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
