Embarrased to go back to AA - After Relapese
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 245
Embarrased to go back to AA - After Relapese
Hey guys,
I hope you are having an awesome weekend.
Before my relapse I stopped going for a couple of months to AA. I can tell you with certainy that I need to go to the meetings because I am in very dark place. As a matter of fact there are couple of them going on today.
However, I feel so ashamed and embarrased of going back. I don't want them to think I am weak, or that I stopped going because I felt I was 'cured' or I felt superior. Not at all. As a matter of fact, I look up to a lot of them, because I believe its very brave they achieved sobriety.
I also don't want to go now (even though I have terrible anxiety) because I don't want them to think it a hangover thing. It is not. I have tried so hard to stop drinking, and sadly, I made a bad decision on Friday.
Anyway, just wanted to tell you guys that.
I hope you are having an awesome weekend.
Before my relapse I stopped going for a couple of months to AA. I can tell you with certainy that I need to go to the meetings because I am in very dark place. As a matter of fact there are couple of them going on today.
However, I feel so ashamed and embarrased of going back. I don't want them to think I am weak, or that I stopped going because I felt I was 'cured' or I felt superior. Not at all. As a matter of fact, I look up to a lot of them, because I believe its very brave they achieved sobriety.
I also don't want to go now (even though I have terrible anxiety) because I don't want them to think it a hangover thing. It is not. I have tried so hard to stop drinking, and sadly, I made a bad decision on Friday.
Anyway, just wanted to tell you guys that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Aww Hope, I am absolutely certain that the people from AA will just be happy to have you back in the rooms with them. My experience of AA was always a very loving and embracing group of like minded people. Don't be embarrassed, just be proud that you are getting back on track again xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 6
I try to think of it like this - a whole room of people who want to get well and get others well. Part of their own program requires them to help someone who is struggling, so it's in their best interest to welcome you back.
Having been in your position I know that my mind tells me not to go back. The love from the group teaches me to be vulnerable and accept help. You can't do this alone.
I wish you all the best.
Having been in your position I know that my mind tells me not to go back. The love from the group teaches me to be vulnerable and accept help. You can't do this alone.
I wish you all the best.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Hope, I can honestly tell you that I have heard anyone make a negative remark about someone coming back. I've heard nothing but words of understanding and relief for that person.
Go back, you'll be glad you did.
Go back, you'll be glad you did.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Hey. It's exceptionally rare that people get sobriety right off the bat. It's hard.
I was the queen of relapse. I would say it was humbling to walk back through the door at AA each time I came back.
No one made me feel bad. A few asked where I'd been out of general concern. I will also say that the chronic relapsing and then reappearing in AA has helped me stay sober this long this time. No one made me feel bad. I just felt crappy that I wasn't getting it, that people were concerned for me. That made me try harder.
You can easily go back and feel welcome.
GL,
Jules
I was the queen of relapse. I would say it was humbling to walk back through the door at AA each time I came back.
No one made me feel bad. A few asked where I'd been out of general concern. I will also say that the chronic relapsing and then reappearing in AA has helped me stay sober this long this time. No one made me feel bad. I just felt crappy that I wasn't getting it, that people were concerned for me. That made me try harder.
You can easily go back and feel welcome.
GL,
Jules
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
To shun another person who is seeking
help for addiction is not right because
I could very well be a member who has
also slipped for whatever reason it may
be.
I know I would feel guilt and shame,
but it is in not suiting up and seeking
help that I would remain sick if not
dead already.
I have to remember that no one
can force me to drink, hold a glass
to my mouth or threaten me to
drink. If I drank it would be because
I let got of my lifeline to recovery or
stopped my recovery maintenance
I need to do on a daily bases.
Get back into recovery for you,
yourself. Take what you've learned
already and strengthen them and
wear them like an armor to ward off
further temptation or evil that try
to take you down.
Everyday sober is a gift and miracle.
Staying connected to SR every single
day whether I'm at home or away on
a trip, my computer is with me to insure
that I'm never alone and that support
is always with me.
You've got this along with all of us
here in SR.
help for addiction is not right because
I could very well be a member who has
also slipped for whatever reason it may
be.
I know I would feel guilt and shame,
but it is in not suiting up and seeking
help that I would remain sick if not
dead already.
I have to remember that no one
can force me to drink, hold a glass
to my mouth or threaten me to
drink. If I drank it would be because
I let got of my lifeline to recovery or
stopped my recovery maintenance
I need to do on a daily bases.
Get back into recovery for you,
yourself. Take what you've learned
already and strengthen them and
wear them like an armor to ward off
further temptation or evil that try
to take you down.
Everyday sober is a gift and miracle.
Staying connected to SR every single
day whether I'm at home or away on
a trip, my computer is with me to insure
that I'm never alone and that support
is always with me.
You've got this along with all of us
here in SR.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
AA is a lifeboat for the sick, not a showcase for the contented.
I bet if you go back they we be very, very happy and relieved that you made it back. I know I always am when people have gone back out and then make it back to the rooms. Your share might be the thing that prevents someone else going back out there! You would be a valuable asset to any meeting.
BB x
I bet if you go back they we be very, very happy and relieved that you made it back. I know I always am when people have gone back out and then make it back to the rooms. Your share might be the thing that prevents someone else going back out there! You would be a valuable asset to any meeting.
BB x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 132
Go back.
I promise you there will be no judging or disappointment.
They will embrace your decision to come back.
We are human and therefore not perfect. We will make mistakes. It's expected and not just with our sobriety.
You will be welcomed with warm welcome arms and you can share your story with someone who might just need to hear it.
Progress, not perfection <3
I promise you there will be no judging or disappointment.
They will embrace your decision to come back.
We are human and therefore not perfect. We will make mistakes. It's expected and not just with our sobriety.
You will be welcomed with warm welcome arms and you can share your story with someone who might just need to hear it.
Progress, not perfection <3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
the coffee's warm and a chair waiting for ya.
not many people dont have anxiety(fear) of going to their first meting or returning.
its good to see people that dont let the fear control them and keep them from something they want.
not many people dont have anxiety(fear) of going to their first meting or returning.
its good to see people that dont let the fear control them and keep them from something they want.
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