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Tomorrow marks day 1

Old 08-05-2017, 06:20 PM
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Tomorrow marks day 1

I've just turned 30. Tonight has been my last "blow out". Tomorrow will be day 1 of my journey to become alcohol-free...

I've tried this many many times before and have always ended up relapsing. And feeling a tremendous sense of self-loathing to boot -
which of course causes me to drink more. Tonight I decided to create this account and send this message out to the world. To have myself held accountable.

I'll post again tomorrow and let you know how I'm going. I feel scared as the idea of "sobriety forever" feels so freeing but restricting/"boring" at the same time...the latter being ridiculous I know, but still these thoughts plague me. I have to do this though. For my health and for my loved ones.

Let's do this.
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Old 08-05-2017, 06:28 PM
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Welcome to an encouraging and friendly place, SoberNeveah.

You've made a great decision. I'd give anything to have quit when I was only 30! I kept on for many more years - always insisting I could control it. The result was devastating. Please keep reading and posting - you can do this - and we want to help.
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Old 08-05-2017, 06:33 PM
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Welcome to SR

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Old 08-05-2017, 06:36 PM
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Thank you very much, Hevyn! Finding support from wonderful people like you is the reason why I took the plunge and joined this site, thank you for the heartfelt message.
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Old 08-05-2017, 06:36 PM
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Glad you are here. I recently heard the 'boredom' is a result of not being comfortable with yourself. It's so true. I get bored really easy and drinking seems like it's fun. But it's an illusion. It's a delusion. I have to remind myself of that every single day!
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Old 08-05-2017, 06:36 PM
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Thank you very much Dee74!
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Old 08-05-2017, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by sunshine72 View Post
Glad you are here. I recently heard the 'boredom' is a result of not being comfortable with yourself. It's so true. I get bored really easy and drinking seems like it's fun. But it's an illusion. It's a delusion. I have to remind myself of that every single day!
Sunshine72, you speak the truth my friend! That's the reason why I became out of hand with this in the first place... I need to deal with these issues head on definitely.
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Old 08-05-2017, 10:09 PM
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Welcome Neveah!
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Old 08-06-2017, 05:53 AM
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If the idea of sober forever seems restricting and boring to you, change the frame to something that keeps you sober. You can frame it however you want to. In the early days I'd just tell myself how good I'd feel the next morning if I didn't drink that night.

The boring thing is one of the lies that alcohol has sold you over the years of drinking, it's not true and the longer you stay sober the more that will become self-evident to you. Alcohol changes our brains over time, and we have to be patient until we get them working right again.
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Old 08-06-2017, 06:02 AM
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Welcome aboard!
Sobriety is ANYTHING but boring
I hope you decide to stick around here with us
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Old 08-06-2017, 06:08 AM
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Welcome to the SR community, SN. A supportive place. It is a GREAT thing to have an awareness of having a problem with alcohol so young and starting to do something about it. Early days...if you (like me) are a heavy drinker, I suggest you see a doc. about the detox/with-d phase. I had seizures- and it can be unsafe. A plan for recovery is a good idea- as is one the ground support with a counsellor and meetings and posting here daily (for me). Empathy and support to you. Keep posting- especially when you do not want to- this place, like meetings is what that is all about. PJ
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Old 08-06-2017, 11:09 AM
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Thank you everyone for the warm welcome! I'm someone who is an intensely private person and has kept these issues from those who know me (only my loving partner knows and is very supportive), so it's incredibly reassuring and uplifting to meet you all and be honest about what's going on.

I will definitely stick around and post here. Thanks to your help and support I know I can make it. I fully intend on reciprocating and helping others on here too, once I know better "how to handle things".

SnazzyDresser, excellent point - it's all about frame of mind. For me, it's the idea of treating myself. Without alcohol in the picture, I need a healthy alternative to treat myself. It's always been alcohol + a great movie, or alcohol + music video marathon on YouTube etc. Alcohol has always been the key to make things "more intense/engrossing" for me. Probably because it shuts down the part of my brain prone to distraction and overthinking. It numbs the background and makes the entertainment easier to focus on. I need to improve my concentration skills without this crutch.

PhoenixJ, fantastic advice. I'll have a good mull on the doctor thing, let's see how this week goes... My main recovery plan so far is posting on here daily and discussing everything with my partner (who - lucky for me - is sober, so temptation isn't immediately going to be in front of me for a fair while).

Speaking of posting... Do I go day by day on this thread, or start a new thread every time? What's the norm here? I'm new to all this and keen to learn
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Old 08-06-2017, 11:13 AM
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Welcome, good for you, wishing you all the best
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Old 08-06-2017, 11:19 AM
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DAY 1 (SORT OF): THIS DIDN'T START OUT IN THE MOST IDEAL WAY

Today isn't technically day 1 I guess, as I've had a glass of alcohol. What happened was - yesterday I bought a bottle of champagne as my last drink. Thought it would be symbolic. I consumed some other things before opening said bottle, and ended up not finishing it at the end of the night.

My partner put it away in the fridge for me, as neither of us were sure if it's wise to throw away something so expensive? Silly I know, but we're not the richest people out there and can't stand the idea of wasting money (plus he doesn't drink so he couldn't have it).

Woke up this morning, thought about it, and my cheap side won...sadly. I've had the last glass of what was left in the bottle. The money thing was a dumb excuse I know. Feeling annoyed with myself, but I will not continue to drink. That's it. I'm craving more now, of course, but I'm not allowing myself any more.

Feeling pleasant enough at the moment but that feeling's going to fade soon. The sun's setting, everything feels calm for now. Not looking forward to tonight though. The cravings hit when it's night-time. Going to try and distract myself as much as possible.
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Old 08-06-2017, 11:26 AM
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I get that totally, now make tomorrow count good luck
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Old 08-06-2017, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Mummyto2 View Post
I get that totally, now make tomorrow count good luck
Thank you for being so understanding. I completely agree, tomorrow and onwards no more excuses...and no more alcohol!
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Old 08-06-2017, 12:41 PM
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Join the class of August 2017
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Old 08-06-2017, 12:45 PM
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Welcome Neveah.
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Old 08-06-2017, 01:11 PM
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What a great birthday gift to yourself!!!
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Old 08-06-2017, 01:25 PM
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Hey, welcome, don't beat urself up about the last glass, draw a line under it & just move on.
With regards to ur earlier question about posting, its upto u. Ill post daily on my class thread (july 2017) ull obv need to join Aug. But if i have a particular question or something i want to discuss, i post a new thread.
Good luck, read & post often, we're all here for u!!
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